Saturday, May 20, 2017

Healing anger

The angels told me that they had a hard time convincing me to come to earth. They said I argued that it was too angry a place for an enlightened soul. Obviously I wasn’t so enlightened as I thought, and had something to learn because I once here again, that I discovered that carried a lot of anger towards the angry and unkind souls.

It took many years for me to realize that my anger at others was only anger at myself.

In my thirties I dated a man I didn’t love. I had been cheated on and dumped by his best friend when he swooped in, professing his love for me and trying to convince me he was the one. I felt a sense of revulsion, not because he was a horrible person, but rather, because my stomach knew right away this wasn’t right for me.

Nonetheless he was kind and insistent, and even though knew better, and had even been sneaking around Sedona trying to avoid him, he persisted and wore me down. I was needy and desperate for love at the time, and I started dating him in the hopes that I’d develop more feeling if I just "gave him a chance." Looking back I was insane! I didn’t realize it at the time.

Needless to say my feelings had been right. Hi true nature was kind, but he was also angry. He had been abused by his father, had a mother who drank too much and as a result became extremely verbally abusive and violent without much provocation. I stayed with him three years hoping I could change him, help him, or convince him to be his true loving self. All the while I grew angrier and more unkind in my own words and thoughts.

I thought I was angry with him. The angels lovingly pointed out that I was angry at myself for once again betraying my own heart and guidance. I was angry at myself for getting into this relationship in the first place, and angry for staying much longer than it was loving to myself, to stay. It was hard to hear, but they were right.

Since that time I have only been that angry once – when the unkind spiritual soul was attacking me over the past few years. I started going down a path of deep upset and knew it wasn’t where I wanted to be. I prayed and the angels showed me that once again I was angry with myself for “letting someone get to me” that crazily. I was angry because I fell into a fear that allowed the energy of attack. Amazingly, when I rid myself of my fears, and therefore no longer allowed spiritual attacks to come at me, I felt only love and compassion for the hurting soul who had delivered them.

It can be very hard to embrace that our anger at others is really a deeper anger at ourselves. We live in a culture that easily supports blame and shame. Political campaigns are built on it, Reality shows thrive on it. The news feeds us this reality every day.

However, if you want spiritual freedom, it is incredibly, powerfully freeing to take responsibility for our own feelings and to take back our God-given power to be happy.

Here are a few tips to help you escape the blame and shame reality and once again find yourself, as the angels say, living in the “image and likeness of love.”

1. Allow yourself a moment of righteous anger & let it point you to a greater truth

Always start where you are authentically at. If something upsets you acknowledge your feelings. Own them, but then just as quickly shift them to what you want. For example:

"I'm upset people drive like crazy. I want to be safe." "I'm upset that this person lied about me. I want people to know who I really am." "I'm upset that my ex doesnt' take any responsibilty. I want help raising my family." "I'm enraged that people abuse animals! I want people to be kind. I want everyone to know they have souls." "I can't stand prejudice! I want the world to know we are all equal."

You get the idea. Own your upset, then shift quickly towards the kinder reality you desire... without asking the other person to change.

2. Set a healthy boundary if you need to

Sometimes behaviors do not belong in your life. Decide what you will permit and communicate clearly. Then enforce your boundary.

I have a "three strike policy." I communicate kindly first, firmly second, and if the person still doesn't honor my boundaries, then I use silence or my heatlhy behavior to enforce it.

If someone speaks unkindly you may have to say, “I care about what you have to say but we’ll wait to talk until you can do so kindly,” and walk away or remain silent. Mean it. Enforce your boundaries with behavior rather than insisting others change. Actions speak louder than words and silence speaks louder than actions.

I once had to tell a former friend I could no longer be in her life because she had really started acting crazily and I couldn't support her chaotic and unbalanced reality. She needed professional help. I told her kindly once that I would no longer be in contact. When she ignored me I told her firmly the second time. The third time I blocked her calls and emails and ignored her. It was horribly hard and felt unkind but the angels lovingly reminded me that being healthy is not unkind.

2.Remind yourself – the unkind are wounded

Next time someone acts badly around you, say to his or her soul (telepathically perhaps), “I am sorry you are hurting but I'm not taking on, or dancing with, your pain.”

This immediately diffuses the anger and returns you to compassion, where you feel the truth of your own loving soul. It also gives you permission not to "do the crazy dance" of engaging with them in their angry or wounded state.

While I will help anyone honestly seeking to improve themselves, I no longer permit people to aim their unkindness and dysfunction at me. There is a world of difference between helping someone who wants help and being a punching bag for someone who simply wants to diffuse their pain.

4. Allow your light to possess the darkness

I will never forget when I was afraid of someone’s bad behavior the angels said, “Ann why do you let their darkness possess your light! Allow your light to possess their darkness!”

Now when people are aiming something nasty towards me – anger, ill will, manipulative energy etc. I just imagine my light filling my body and spilling into my aura and burning up any darkness, just like a bug zapper! 

This technique works to diffuse any unkind or unhealthy energy that is aimed at you whether it be anger, ill will, chem trails, etc.

While I’m not perfect at these techniques yet, the more I practice them, the more I allow myself to be the loving, joyful soul that I truly am. In that reality I can do far more good in the world and help those willing to receive. You can too!

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