Saturday, August 20, 2016

Here and now!

I am laughing! It is Sunday while I'm writing this and because I did my gazing yesterday I have a pile of work-work and housework to catch up on today. My mind started to spin, until I remembered what the angels always say, "Stop. Breathe., Drop into your heart. Figure out what is in there. Do it with full presence." I did so and found myself wandering to my desk without a thought and channeling this week's angel message in record time! Too funny.

Even funnier, I started to struggle with this paragraph until I heard the angels giggling in my head. "Stop. Breathe., Drop into your heart. Figure out what is in there. Do it with full presence." I'm laughing now too. I want breakfast so I'll be back afterwards and finish this later... we'll see when that urge hits :)

...Since I left you in the last paragraph, an entire day has passed blissfully while I accomplished a mountain of work. I've done office work, gone grocery shopping, made chicken, potatoes, homemade yogurt, processed the veggies, froze the fruit, cleaned out the house, exercised, and the list goes on! Focusing on what is in me, right here, right now, makes time stretch out into just the right amount needed. Choosing to love life in front of me creates bliss, grace, and ease. It is late now and I should be in bed, but I still have energy. Living in the present is like plugging into a cosmic battery!

So while it is so easy to get caught up in all we want to accomplish, change, and create, being in the moment (even if it means taking deliberate, conscious time to dream and anticipate a blissful future) allows you to access the amazing grace and love that want to pour into your life! 

Here are a few tips to help you enjoy the present this week...

1. When you feel overwhelmed... Stop / Breathe / Drop into your heart.

Overwhelm comes from that part of our human self that still believes we have to be in control to be happy. The truth is that we can be happy now. If you don't get everything done and life falls apart, or you lose a job, or mold grows in the bathtub –  or whatever the consequeces may be – the universe may just be setting you on an easier course. Maybe your life wasn't working anyway. Maybe the job wasn't so great. Maybe you need a housekeeper, or to stop taking care of everyone else so you can take better care of your own life. The possibilities are endless.

The heart will always tell you what is important to your soul, and the soul deeply longs for you to have a loving experience of life. 

2. Assume the Present moment is offering you the a perfect opportunity to shift your energy... so you can allow life you want.

Many of us grew up with the notion of a judgmental "Grandpa in the Sky" God that punishes us when we don't live up to his standards and rewards us when we do. Happily that's not the case. The universe is set up to operate according to laws of vibration. The Divine loves purely and allows us our experience.

This one bit of wisdom, if you embrace it thoroughly will change your entire life:

Every bit of life, no matter how challenging is there to help us see where we are either blocking love or receiving love.

When I had twisted intestines several years ago, I was lucky to get an emergency reading with my friend Summer Bacon who channels an amazing spirit doctor. I was on the phone, in unbearable pain, trying to be "spiritual" about the situation. "I know I created this, and I know I have to make some changes..." The angel coming through my friend cut me off mid-sentence. "Will you stop that Ann! Be authentic! You got all twisted up because you stuff your true feelings." Oh. Ow! True. But ow. Back then, I had fallen into the spiritual trap of "trying to be positive" when I was not, thinking that would help me heal faster.

I got mad. I was expecting to be rewarded for being "positive" in the face of so much pain. "F!*# it! I cried our. I hurt. I want help." I was livid. "There you go!" the angel said to me. "Words of love, like an innocent child, spoken to the heavens. Now we can help you." What a revelation in that sentence! It wasn't my anger or swear words that were a "formula" for receiving help. It was my authenticity. Finally I was allowing myself to be present with ME, rather than trying to be someone else in that moment.

This painful moment offered me a chance to love myself even when I felt far from "perfect." I saw how often I was still blocking love when I didn't feel worthy of it. That moment – with all its accompanying physical and emotional pain – probably saved my life.

So remember, everything, absolutely everything, is showing us either where we receive or block love. 

3. Fall madly in love right now... Seriously!

As in the example above, there are times you just have to sit with your pain because you just don't have the mental or emotional strength to shift your energy. In those cases the most love you can find may be to simply ask/pray for comfort, healing, and help.
However, there are many times we can use a little willpower to authentically shift into a better space. Here's one trick the angels taught me. It is a delightful game that sounds silly and yet works wonderfully well if you can truly play it!

Pretend that you are in love with absolutely everything in you and around you! Just pretend! Even the cranky mean people, the ugly walls of a waiting room, the red lights, the crazy drivers in traffic, your coffee, the sky above. Even your belly fat, your sick stomach, your angry inner child... Pretend you're madly, passionately in love with it all!

It's just a game. Imagine... I love you, you cranky soul! I love you red light. I love you dear belly ache, you poor thing! I love you my angry inner child! You must need a hug! I love you dear demanding, demeaning boss! I'm sorry you're hurting so badly! I love you, you big hormonal zits!! You must really need attention! Ok I'm listening! You don't need to say it out loud of course... just pretend. Its your own little secret :)

It may sound ridiculous, outrageous, and completely insane, but most of us have already loved someone who wasn't nice, or something that wasn't so wonderful – that outfit you keep in the back of the closet for example? Just pretend. What if that horrible "ex" was the love of your life in a past life... and they just forgot? I love you horrible ex! You poor thing. You forgot what it was like to be loving... You get the idea. Be as a child and vibrationally enter the kingdom of heaven... right here, right now.

The reason this works is that the vibration of love is the same no matter what the object!

Real love is there all the time, just waiting for us to allow it to flow. Pick something to love. Pretend you love someone and all of the sudden you will feel the energy of love! Beautifully, magically, that brings you into a loving Presence!

Speaking of tapping into the vibration of love, close your eyes, take a breath, and just open to receive. I am writing this in your past, sending it ahead to your "now," and intending you receive a big warm energy hug around your heart! Mm.

Love you all! 

Saturday, August 13, 2016

Yeses and no's

I dislike disappointing people as many of us do. However it has become a necessary part of life. Working full time and giving so much of my life to the greater good is a joy, but it also dictates that I must remain in balance.

Recently when a family member that I love very much invited me to visit for a special occasion on short notice, I had to decline. It was hard. I wish I could clone at times, but I already had commitments and my body is dictating rest on a regular basis right now. So I was honest, and had to make peace with the fact that I am only one person and I've got a calling that requires me to prioritize self care so I can continue my service with integrity and joy.

As always God has plans. I had already been getting the inclination to schedule a visit later in the year, when I'll have the ability to spend a little more time visiting, and hopefully have more time to be well rested. We're exploring that option now, and I trust when God thinks it is right for all of us, I'll be there.

I was born and bred a people-pleaser as many of us were. Many of us were raised in an era where we got in trouble when we didn't please those training us! That was just the way children were taught way back when. Most of us, happily, are learning that pleasing others is only beautiful when genuine. 

I can't tell you how many times Jesus has appeared in my readings for perfectly sweet people who are exhausting themselves taking care of everyone else's needs while neglecting their own well being. With exquisite tenderness, He asks them, "When are you going to get off the cross? I already did that for humanity."

Here are a few tips to help you be more authentic when the "program to please" starts to usurp your heart's natural inclinations and guidance.

1. Give yourself time to tune in

When someone makes a request tell them you'll get back to them in a little bit. Give yourself the gift of at least a few minutes to look at your schedule, to check in with your heart, and to become clear on whether or not it feels right to say yes or no. Even a few minutes can afford you the opportunity to come from your truth, rather than a pre-programmed sense of duty, a habit of people pleasing, or a fear of inspiring displeasure.

2. Whatever your answer is, convey it with love, be honest, & avoid excuses

If you have to decline an invitation or a request, do so lovingly and don't make excuses. Be honest and kind. If you have to say no because you need more rest, be honest. If you have to say no because you don't feel like going, just simply say you are not up for the event right now. Find kind words, but don't lie and make excuses. People sense this dishonest energy and often fear the reason you are saying no is worse than it is!

While it is uncomfortable to disappoint someone, you will ultimately be doing you both a favor. If you say yes to something you don't want to do, you will not bring a loving attitude into the interaction, you will drain your energy dreading it, and you will likely be upset at some point in the process. The temporary discomfort of honesty is always better than the prolonged agony of even a well-intentioned lie. 

3. The flip side is we must accept others' "yes"es and "no"s

Once we start accepting our own "yes"es and "no"s we have to promise ourselves that we will grant others the same courtesy. Not everyone will want to do everything you want them to. Avoid making them or yourself wrong. If someone can't help you today, perhaps they can tomorrow... or perhaps God has better plans.

So this week try to be more real, more authentic, and more lovingly honest with yourself and others. In time it becomes easier and it will free up huge amounts of energy!

Saturday, August 06, 2016

Honest expectations

I have seen the ill effects of unexpressed expectations in my office and my life time and again.

Years ago, in my late twenties, a man I worked with confessed his love for me and insisted I was meant to be with him. I was kind and gently told him I thought he was a wonderful person but that I did not feel the same way. I told him that I saw someone else coming into his life soon whom he'd love dearly.

In spite of my kindness, he became viscous and attacked me with horrible scathing words. He had expected me to fall into his arms and when life didn't match expectation, he became hateful. As always God knew best. He met the love of his life soon after and decades later, they are still married.

I've been on the other side of the expectation dance as well. My own expectations of others in my earlier years led to a lot of disappointments. In the past, although I didn't realize it at the time, I "gave to get." I'll never forget the day I was busted on that one! A psychic, who was actually a friend of a guy I was dating said to me, "So is it going to work?" She and I both knew darn well it wasn't the right relationship for me. "I don't know I answered, fibbing."

She looked at me, shook her head and with great compassion and a huge southern accent said, "Mm mm, poor little thing. Always giving in the hopes you gonna get some back." It hurt, but it was truth. I had the expectation that if I just loved enough, gave enough, then this man would be kind to me. Needless to say the relationship didn't work out. I learned a lot however! After it ended, I wrote the "Ten commandments of Ann" about how I was going to ask to be treated in the future and the choices I'd make if I were not. 
I'm sure you have had similar experiences. I'm sure you've had times when people's expectations of you lead them to guilt trip you, tell you how disappointed they are in you, blame you for their sad or upset feelings, etc. Most likely you have expectations of others that have led to upsets when un-met.  

So how do we get off the expectation / disappointment cycle? Here are a few tips to help you with that this week:

1. Notice where you have expectations or unspoken agreements

  • Are you giving to others & expecting them to give back?
  • Have you lent money, without agreeing when & how you'll be paid 
  • Are you in business without clearly spelling out responsibilities?
  • Do you expect your kids / spouse / friends to act a certain way?
  • Are you expecting someone you're dating to act a certain way?
A good way to identify unspoke agreements is to notice where you're upset at someone. Did you expect them to behave a certain way? Do they know that? How? 

2. Once you've identified your expectations ask yourself a few questions

  • Have I made my expectations clear to anyone who is violating them? 
  • How can I communicate them kindly? 
  • What will I do if they don't honor my request?
While there is no absolute right and wrong here, you have to decide what you will and won't live with and what the consequences are if people behave otherwise. Then its time to c

For example, if you're a giver and expect others to give back, to appreciate you, or to love you for giving, what are you going to say or do, without making themselves or yourself wrong, if they do not? 

This step often requires introspection, prayer and sometimes the loving advice of someone you trust.  

3. Be honest, Communicate lovingly and kindly.

Once you know how you want to be treated, tell the people around you who are not treating you this way, and share with them what you will do if they can't agree to it.

For example I have said to people, "I deserve to be treated with kindness and you're very upset now, so we'll talk later." Or, "You haven't treated me with kindness and courtesy so I won't be in contact again." Its not easy. Better to treat yourself honestly and well, than to remain bitter or upset at another.

4. If someone has expectations of you that you cannot meet, don't let guilt, shame, or their upset prevent you from listening to your own heart and honoring your own guidance.

"I am sorry I can't help you out today. You've helped me so many times. MIght I do it later?" or "I'm sorry, I can't help you today." If another person gets mad because they expected you to act a certain way and you cannot do so in integrity with your own spirit, then their upset is their issue. 

5. Remember - God did not create you to please others – only to be yourself. 

The angels say often, "A rose does not exist to please anyone. It blooms because that is its nature. It is equally beautiful and fragrant whether or not anyone sees or acknowledges it essence. It asks nothing of you."

So too, we must bloom and follow our God given guidance, no matter who understands, like or doesn't like us, and in spite of the fact that some will attack. And we must give other this courtesy, allowing them to be who they choose to be and simply deciding whether or not they belong in our lives

Be gentle with yourself as you explore this topic. Most of us harbor unspoken expectations, and most of us have been on the unpleasant receiving end of them. Yet when we realize that everyone, including ourselves, has a right to be whomever they choose to be, so much energy is released.

When we free ourselves from the burden of others expectations, and when we free others from the burden of own, finally our relationships become honest, authentic, and loving. We naturally stay around those behaviors and people with whom there is a natural fit, and we gently move away from those behaviors and people with whom there is not.