Saturday, February 21, 2015

It all leads to love

One of my favorite country songs is “God Bless the Broken Road” because it talks about how every perceived failure, every tough relationship, every thing on the path leads to love. From my own life experience this is true beyond measure. I spent four years in college and eight in a career I didn’t love and yet the skills I learned there enabled me to live in a grounded way and support myself while having my head in “the clouds” talking to angels most of the time! I lost a marriage, a home, a life and found my soul. I spent a decade in really tough and abusive relationships and as a result, learned to learn to truly love myself and help others do the same. I spent four years nearly killing myself taking care of my aging dogs and found a strength and ability to love that was so beautiful I am still moved to tears by the gift I was given.

Often life doesn’t look the way we want. Sometimes we make choices that hurt us. Sometimes other bring their dark and nasty energy into our space. But if we just keep choosing love, choosing to keep our hearts open, at least to ourselves, then we are guided, as the angels say, into streams of grace and back to a greater love.

I once had a night in which my entire support structure fell apart within minutes. I had been guided to meditate and do a kind of life review in which the angels asked me to look at my life and appreciate everything and everyone in it. I went out that night and sat under the moon by the swimming pool, shut my eyes and went into a state of being very much like we do in the afterlife, where key points in my life flashed before my eyes and I witnessed them all with gratitude and grace. I felt wonderful! Life felt beautiful! By the time I finished, I was humming with life and grateful for everyone and everything in it.

I went to answer emails and in the next five minutes discovered that almost everyone in a group of people I considered dear friends had been talking behind my back, judging me and my work. In the very next email I discovered that my other primary group of friends was judging and criticizing me for the fact that I had chosen to heal my soul before I focused on the healing of a physical condition. My emotional world, which only minutes before had been at an all time high, crumbled into pieces.

To make a long story short, misunderstandings were healed with difficult but honest conversations. My real friends stayed in my life. We became more authentic and deeply honest, and as a result, more loving. Those individuals with whom I could no longer resonate with, fell away. Did I grieve? Yes, absolutely, I grieved. But at the same time my life became cleaner, clearer, and more filled with authentic love.

I am blessed right now to be feeling wonderful in my life. I’ve had all sorts of illnesses, betrayals, disappointments, and incredible, unthinkable darkness aimed at me. I've made plenty of what we call "mistakes" and had more than my share of what we call "failures." (The angels call these learning experiences!) However, no matter what was going on I always turned back to the fact that God was there, the angels were there, and love was there, just waiting for me to sincerely ask for help. All I had to do to get back into the streams of grace was to keep my heart open and choose love again and again and again, for myself first, then for all involved.

As our mental muscles becomes stronger, the trials pass more quickly, the darkness does not beat us down, and our "mistakes" and "failures" no longer become just cause for us to crucify ourselves. Thee disappointments and betrayals become nothing more than a broken glass of water to be cleaned up and swept away... to make room for the love that is always there; the Divine Love that is just waiting to be poured into a new and beautiful container in our lives.

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