Saturday, August 30, 2014

Emotional teachers…

Earlier this year I a feeling I’ve never felt before. It lasted for only a few days but it was the most puzzling sensation, because I didn’t even know what it was! I saw someone whom I’ll never even meet, who was graceful, beautiful, and very feminine, and instead of being overjoyed as usual, I started feeling cranky and having thoughts that weren’t so sweet. I finally asked the angels, “What on earth is going on with me.” "You’re jealous,” they answered honestly. Oh my God! I was appalled. Jealousy?

I’ve accepted my anger, my sadness, my despair at times, my anxiousness when it used to get me, but jealousy? I had always prided myself on never being a jealous person! I almost always love myself, my life, and my choices. I am almost always happy for other’s success. However, since the feeling was there, I knew it had something to teach me.

I did what the angels have always told me to do. I sat down, went within myself, and said, “OK jealousy, what are you trying to tell me? I’m listening.” The answers came quickly. “I want to be more feminine. I want to be pampered. I like being strong, but every now and then I want to be softer.”

“Well that was easy,” I thought to myself. It was as simple as owning the fact that I saw someone else embracing an energy that I had neglected to acknowledge within myself. It was true! I was missing the softer side of my being. I’ve been chopping up trees, lifting heavy stuff, climbing ladders, and crawling around my attic in my spare time. After work I’ve been at the computer working on my website. I had simply forgotten to take care of the feminine side of my being. Simple, but when we neglect something within ourselves it will reveal itself one way or another. If we ignore an aspect of our being, the truth may reveal itself in a so-called negative emotion to get our attention.

I was much gentler with myself the following week. I gave myself the kindness I had wished for. I pampered myself a little more and wore clothes that made me feel more feminine. While this might seem superficial, the angels remind me that being human is part of the experience here on earth and one I shouldn’t negate! A few days ago I stood next to a beautiful, feminine, pampered woman in line at the grocery store and we had a lovely conversation. Having taken care of my own needs, it was once again easy to celebrate the good fortune of others.

So if you feel something less than loving, first of all don’t beat yourself up! We’re already spiritual. We don’t have to try to be that. We’re already good inside. We don’t have to prove anything to God. We’re already light, even when we feel dark. Instead, just go within and ask the feeling what its trying to tell you. Embrace it. Own it! Its yours and its a gift. Although it might be triggered by someone else, it comes from your soul. Celebrate. You are being given a key that unlocks the locked doorways of the soul, and releases your light into an even greater awareness, expression, and experience of life.

Embrace everything that comes up within you. When a seed sprouts, the first thing you see is the dirt being pushed up to the surface, which inevitably makes way for new growth and new life.

Saturday, August 23, 2014

Illuminating the darkness

It has been an intense few weeks! When a simple trip in late July became a massive adventure with flights cancelled, and a big storm doing damage to my home and yard I knew something was “off” in the energy. My life is normally calm, peaceful, and easy because I no longer give into the drama I once did. I handled the expenses, physical labor, and repairs with great grace.

Two weeks ago, however, I started to see that something bigger was going on. I started experiencing all sorts of little disruptions in my life. I did what I always do - just handled them, sent love, and went about my day. I was finally forced to take note of the bigger picture, when I was working peacefully in my office and I got the sudden message from my angels to go to the backyard, look up, and pray. I listened, and was surprised to see that the previously sunny day had become ominously dark, and there was another huge storm aiming for my neighborhood like a train on a track. It didn’t look normal. It looked angry. The wind was ferocious and the clouds were rolling in at an alarming rate. None of the folks in my neighborhood were ready to deal with more damage. We were all still focusing on repairs from the previous storm.

I knew I better get in my God-given power and pray. I threw my hands up in the air, and prayed, “Dear God, bring us peace. Dear weather spirits, I know you must obey the stirred up human emotions on the planet, but I am sending you love and peace now. Please go and do us no harm.” I tuned into every ounce of love and peace in my heart and just stood there in a vibration of total calm. I focused on the fact that we are all One and the vibrations of the external clouds live inside of me too. I felt energy pouring outward from my heart and then I felt energy pouring through the top of my head and into the ground. I have never witnessed such a thing but the wind changed and the storm blew away and dissipated. A friend commented on it later that week, without me saying a thing. He said he’d never seen a storm race in and then just go away like that.

At the time, I could barely believe it. I felt crazy. I went into the house and shook, realizing that the angry energies on the planet wanted company, and were seeking any openings they could find in human hearts to create disruption. I looked back at the patterns of clients coming in lately and realized that many of the light workers were also experiencing similar chaos, disruption, and challenges. Although I understood it all, my body locked up in fear, my back and digestion turned into a mess the next several days and I knew it was time to dive within myself.

I asked only one question, “What inside of me allowed this chaotic vibration to attack me?” And then I intended, “Come to the surface and be released.” I sat and breathed and asked my angels for help. I went to Dr. Shawn Warwick (who if you live in Phoenix is an amazing energy worker). I opened to channel the healing energies I bring through for others. And I shook. I shook like I was having Ann-quakes. As fears from other lifetimes came to the surface, so too did feelings that have nothing to do with my present life. Feelings of having messed up, disappointed God, you name it! I felt like I had opened Pandora’s box of lies and was clearing all the old junk and gunk out of my soul. And even though it was hard, physically painful, and exhausting, I am celebrating! Better out than in. It is these hidden illusions that can often allows the denser energies to create chaos in our lives. And when we free ourselves to truly embrace the light and the love that we are, even the deepest darkness cannot penetrate. At long last when I was able to get fully present once again and reaffirm the truth of the light within, the heat flooded through me like a river, unlocked my body and all pain was gone in a matter of seconds.

If you are not experiencing any disruption now, celebrate! You are standing in truth! And if you are, celebrate too because you’re simply at a point where you’re diving deeper. A single candle, as the saying goes, can illuminate even the darkest room, and your willingness to love yourself through anything can illuminate even the most challenging life circumstances. So don’t push your feelings away, embrace them. Love yourself through them. In doing so we transform all that is within us to greater light and greater love.

Saturday, August 16, 2014

Letting go to receive

Every now and then a song completely grabs my heart. The one in the video below did that recently, "I don't dance," Is a song about a man who is giving up what he "didn't do" for the love of a woman. The reason it touches my heart is because I have given up all I thought I once was to discover a love greater than I ever thought possible - a love that lives in every crack, corner, and crevice of creation... and inside our own hearts.

Two decades ago if you had asked me who I was I would have said, I am an avionics engineer. I am religious. I am married. I am "smart." I thought psychics were full of nonsense, and I thought the "woo woo" people were really weird. I thought I had my whole life planned out.

Little by little, I admitted to myself that in spite of having everything I thought I needed to be happy, I was empty, lost, and lonely. And thus began the journey of seeking happiness that led me to shed so many layers of identity. I gave up my marriage, my dogs, my career, my home, my judgments, my unworthiness, my forgiveness, my arrogance, my anger, my pain and sadnesses from the past, indeed all that defined me. I gave up my need to identify with being "the smart girl" and learned to turn off my brain so I could access a greater intelligence. I gave up my need to be "in control" of everything so I could surrender to a greater ease. I gave up my need to "save" and "fix" people so I could truly be of service. I gave up my "disease to please" so I could live more authentically. The more I let go, the more I received.

There will always be more to let go. We are, after all, human! Just a few weeks ago when the storm hit my house it took every ounce of will power not to get into drama, but instead to choose peace, ease, grace, and joy in spite of the impact to my time, bank account, and emotions. I'm glad I did. As I write this a/c repair guys are inspecting my attic for leaks in the duct work. I'm not leaking my energy over it!

It does take will power to release what does not serve us. Our cultures supports drama, victimhood, martyrdom, and a whole host of other unhappy behaviors and beliefs. It takes courage to look at yourself and say, "This isn't working." Let me choose a better situation, better thoughts, or a better way of dealing with life. It takes courage to say, "I trust God. I do not have to be in control of everything once I've done my part." People may not understand or support you in releasing the culturally accepted patterns in exchange for higher truth. It doesn't matter. As we let go, we gain. As we release we are embraced. As we discard the illusions, we walk in greater truth.

My letting go didn't happen all at once. It happened one small decision at a time. And it wasn't always easy. It was once hard for me to let go of my scarcity mentality long enough to pay $3 for a cup of coffee. It was once difficult to say, "I can't do this," to someone even when I was near exhaustion. It was once hard to sit still and rest. And yet with each tiny choice to let go of what no longer served, a greater light and greater joy came into my life.

As the angels say, "When you open to a trickle of love, soon it becomes a stream that runs into the rivers, that cascade into oceans of love." See if you can let go of a few thoughts that don't make you happy this week, a few tendencies towards drama, or a few self-criticisms. Trade them in for better ones, and as you do so, notice how greater joy is and always has been there waiting to be embraced.

Saturday, August 09, 2014

Opportunities to love

The world is stirred up, to say the least. Threats of increased war in the middle east, big storms, viruses, you name it. I've seen more people coming in with entities and crazy energies clinging to them than ever before. I've been casting out demons, cleaning off auras, and striving to be a force of peace, calm, and love in the world. In the midst of this, as I wrote last week, my house and yard was slammed by a storm with winds as strong as a category 3 hurricane! My body which tends to resonate a lot with the earth feels such pressure lately I've had to do extra stretching and energy work just to keep the channels open. I've been getting up early and staying up late to work on a new and improved website among other things.

And yet, at a time when things look challenging on the outside, all I feel is an incredible beauty and grace to life. Things that used to bother or challenge me just seem like things to be handled – just items on a to do list. My beloved tree is gone but a new baby will soon be planted. The leaking ceilings have already been fixed. The ductwork will be checked out next week. Even though there were large expenses and large inconveniences in terms of scheduling repairs, great blessings have arisen. The repair folks were wonderful. The neighbors were so sweet and helpful. I'm working overtime to pay off the bills but after borrowing energy from the recent hurricanes I find myself with incredible stamina to do so. What looked like a little disaster has only created room for more love.

So when life seems chaotic, when those around you are all stirred up, or when things don't go your way, instead of getting sucked into the drama, the story, the upsets, and the tragedies, try your best to look for the love in the situation and to remember that no matter what occurs we can bring love into the situation. Start with love and kindness for yourself, an acceptance of your feelings about the situation and then ask... "What is the most loving way I can handle this, in a way that honors myself first, and all others?" Pray. Ask for help with the answer to that question. Your angels will give you amazingly creative ideas. My angels suggested I save some sections of my tree's trunk and now I meditate on them barefoot every day, enjoying the spirit of the tree I once loved as it teaches me the wisdom of greater strength and flexibility.

Know that no matter what we go through on earth, we are all beautiful souls, working diligently to remember our essential nature – our core beauty, brilliance, love, and light. All things presented to us are just adventures we embrace, mirrors we look into, and situations that give us an opportunity to become more strongly rooted in love. This week, when life presents a challenge, just say to yourself, "Ah ha! Another chance to find the love, be the love, love myself, and share the love."

Saturday, August 02, 2014

Safety in the storms

I have heard so many stories that illustrate the angels' point about security resting within. I know a woman who, in the middle of being physically attacked, surrendered her life to God's grace, and were cast aside by the attacker. I knew a lady who was accosted by a man with a knife in Italy on a vacation. She was tall and he was short and she started laughing at him until he left in disgust! I know clients who have chosen faith over fear even in dire financial circumstances... and we have watched their miracles come through.

I had my own demonstration of the safety and security of resting in God's love last weekend. I had taken time off last week to work on my website but after days of staring at the computer I knew I needed a breather. My grandfather in spirit has been telling me for some time to take a quick little vacation and when a dear client gave me free airline tickets, I knew heaven's hints were becoming less subtle! I packed my bags and got ready for a little two day trip over the weekend. While I was pulling my car out of the driveway something stopped me and compelled me to go back inside and unplug my electronics. Without knowing why I prayed extra prayers for the protection of my home and everyone in the neighborhood. "Angels," I whispered, "Is everything OK?" "You'll be fine! Go have fun," I heard them whisper back.

Driving to the airport I had total faith that all would be well. It was actually a surprise when I found out that all flights to my destination had been cancelled. Furthermore so many people from those flights had been re-routed to nearby cities that there was little likelihood of me flying via the free passes. The most logical thing to do would have been to go home and reschedule my trip. Something stopped me... I sat back, shut my eyes, and dropped into my heart. My heart wanted this trip. The angels had suggested this trip. So in spite of every shred of rational programming. I bought a ticket to a neighboring city, found a shuttle service that would drive me over an hour after I landed, and continued on my journey. Three hours later than planned and several dollars shorter, I arrived. I did not realize at the time that this "impractical" but heart-centered decision saved me from living through one of the worst storms Phoenix has seen in years.

I had no idea that while I was enjoying peace, calm, and play, my neighborhood back home was getting pounded by a macro-burst that was centered less than a few blocks from my house. The storm brought with it 100+ mile per hour winds, torrential rain, huge hail, and lightning that made the ground shake. Neighbor kids were so scared they hid in their pantry. Trees either came down or were stripped of their leaves. Roof tiles were ripped off. As I drove home from the airport it looked like a tornado had gone through the neighborhood. Debris littered the streets, but for the most part, the houses were all intact. And no one had been hurt.

I pray every day to be protected by standing in the light of God's love. I surround everyone and everything around me with light. My huge and beautiful mesquite tree was ripped up by the roots and tossed on her side. My roof vents were ripped off and water seeped into the ceiling, causing a little damage. My shed exploded with its walls cast out in all directions. But in the greater scheme of things, my neighborhood and I were protected indeed! No homes were destroyed and no one was hurt. My elderly neighbor was home and the tree missed his house by only a few feet. It was miraculous. I did cry a few tears of grief for the tree, but I was incredibly grateful we were all spared.

Rest assured knowing that if you pray for, and truly believe in God's protection, you will be guided to safety in your lives to. Life does "happen" as we say. We live in a collective creation of all souls on earth, and we are affected by others. But if we put our faith deeply in the Creator's love we will be guided into a kinder and more gentle reality.