Saturday, June 28, 2014


Last week, I forgot to get eggs at the grocery store. After putting away the groceries I had remembered, I hopped back in the car and went to finish my shopping. The day was beautiful and in spite of the extra trip I was happily driving along when a bird suddenly dove in front of my vehicle. I slammed on the brakes but it was too late. The little one lay in the street. Thankfully there was no traffic so I pulled over to check on her. She was in the process of dying. “Oh GOD, what do I do?” I prayed. "Pick her up and send her energy to assist her transition,” was the answer. I gently picked her up, walked to the side of the road, and held her to my heart. The heat began to flow from my hands. Her little talons gripped my shirt and she looked into my eyes before shutting her own and leaving her sweet little feathered body. Crying, I jumped in my car, still holding her little form to my heart with one hand and driving back home with the other.

I surrounded her with leaves and flowers and ran energy to assist any final energies in leaving the body. I prayed for her spirit. “May you always know God’s love no matter what form you take. May you feel my love for you. May you always fly free and feel the joy of being. May any pain you have suffered be erased from your memory.” "Are you free?" I asked, and suddenly I was overwhelmed and surrounded by the love of a soul I can only describe as angelic. "Thank you," I heard. That did it. I burst into tears.

“Why God?” I asked, being human to my core. I felt her magnificent soul, but why did she have to die by my car? The angels stopped me. “You are learning deeper levels of trust now. We are not going to tell you why. Breathe. Calm down now and start thinking of the infinite number of reasons she may have chosen to die this way.” I stopped sniffling and took a few deep breaths. “She wanted love as she died?” It was more of a question based on past information. The angels once told me that animals came to me to die because they loved to feel my tremendous love on their way out.

“Keep going,” they told me. “Think of other possible reasons.” “She was keeping me from being in an accident by delaying me,” I said, still asking a question. “Keep going.” “She was done with her time on earth and wanted a quick exit.” “She gave me a piece of her beautiful spirit on the way out.” “She was inspiring this newsletter.” It became obvious the angels were not going to divulge the reason, They just kept telling me, to keep going, to keep listing possible reasons for her death. “She took some energy off this planet with her in her death.” “She was a soul who decided to try being a bird and changed her mind.” “She wanted to feel love at a level she never had and knew I would give it to her.” “She was teaching me that even when we don’t have a clue about why something happens, God does.” I had to stop there and cry some more.

I felt I had stumbled upon the truth. “Maybe it is a combination of many of those things,” the angels gently offered, still not giving me the “answer.” I understood. They want me to trust everything, even when I am too worked up or biased to understand. They want me to stop using my mind to push away the love that is always there, even in tough circumstances, and to trust in God’s great love. They wanted me to trust that every being is in a beautiful dance even when I fail see it. This isn't easy, but there is purpose to the exercise. I've been asking to continue expanding to channel God's healing energies. If I am attached to anything I will get in the way. If I am viewing anything as less than love, I filter the amount of love that can flow through me. I know this. I have been praying to abide in deeper truths. God is giving me opportunity to do so.

As I sat contemplating these things, the angelic spirit of the little bird surrounded me again with her love. This time I simply shut my eyes and basked in the love. "Do you have a name," I asked. "Felicity," she offered as I felt my heart well up with great joy. I looked up the name later on the Internet. It means "Great Happiness."

So this week, do your best. Try to assume that there is love and purpose behind everything even when you don't understand. And if you need to understand, allow yourself to do the exercise the angels gave me and list off every possible reason something has happened in your life, no matter how crazy it might sound. Then maybe you can call upon this sweet angel teacher of mine, Felicity, and ask her to bring happiness and peace to your heart too.

Saturday, June 21, 2014

So much is good...

So many times in my work, I have heard people ask me why they feel they are "kicked when they are down." It does seem that sometimes one negative thing begets another and soon we feel that life has spiralled out of control. I seem to encounter a new round of challenges every time I increase my light. Instead of looking at it as a struggle, I know these are simply opportunities for me to stay in my light or slide back into old energies that aren't going to make me happy. In the past I would wonder "What I had done wrong," instead of just dealing with things, learning, and moving forward into more positive energy.

I just did another series of live stream gaze with Braco and reached incredible spaces of Oneness. Immediately I had a number of things break down! Problems that were lurking all came to the surface to be fixed! A small crack that I had not noticed in my car windshield became so large I had to have the entire thing replaced! (I am seeing more clearly now!). My hot water heater started leaking and happily it was under warrantee so I got a brand new one. (I'm no longer leaking energy!). A "flow switch" in some pool equipment out back broke and is getting replaced! (I'm standing in a greater flow of energy!) The hinges on my computer armoire broke and the doors swung open (I am letting the world see more of me!). And while I could go on, the moral of the story is that life is not against me. I didn't do anything "wrong." I simpy created things in one vibration in my past and now that I'm in a different energy things must change. Far better to celebrate this than to feel as if all "you-know-what" is breaking loose! Sometimes we change and life must change around us.

There are so many opportunities to focus on what is "wrong." Small irritations can add up, and difficult life circumstances or losses can feel like they are burying us. We can't always see how we will get from where we are to where we want to be. But there is always goodness, and sometimes, although it is tough and an act of will, we must love ourselves first in our annoyances, sadnesses, or upsets, then cheer ourselves up by focusing on all the things that are right. By loving ourselves first as we are, then by shifting our focus, we shift our lives into greater love.

So this week try to catch yourself when you are struggling with life and stop struggling. See if you can stop the inner drama that the mind loves to create. Deal with the situation as best you can. Honor your feelings, ask for help, comfort, healing or whateveyou need in the moment. Love yourself first as you are, then when you can use your will power to focus on something, anything good. See how it affects how you feel!

Saturday, June 14, 2014

Boundaries define your sacred circle

The cactus says with all its thorny being… “If you want to harm me stay away, but if you simply want to rest in the shelter of my being, come on in!” Birds are welcome to burrow and nest in its cool interior, but predators who would rip it apart to steal a drink of the water stored within are kept away by the elaborate array of thorns.

Likewise, we can welcome those who treat us with love, respect, and kindness to come closer and be a part of our lives, while at the same time feeling no guilt whatsoever about kindly and firmly creating boundaries for those who would attempt to siphon our life force or treat us with less than loving kindness.

I struggled with the issue of boundaries in the past. I use to think that “loving all” meant indiscriminately allowing everyone to have their way in my life. I answered every call, every email, and gave up my own health and well being for the sake of serving others - all the while burning myself out and wondering why no one took care of me.

It was the angels who taught me years ago that healthy boundaries are an act of love. When you know who you are and what you want in your life you have no problem at all being lovingly and graciously kind and clear. There is no need for defensiveness or judgment - that comes from being insecure about your own sacred point of view.

Years ago I went up to a well known author at a conference where we were both speaking and asked him if he ever read and endorsed books by others. He snapped a quick “No!” at me and looked away. Later I went up and apologized to him for disturbing him, making it clear that I had no expectation but embraced the philosophy that if I didn’t ask, I wouldn’t know. He apologized for snapping and said that in truth he wished he could help everyone but just didn’t have the time, and that it was still hard for him to say no. I told him I completely understood… and made a mental note to firmly “own” my decisions so I could be more gracious with my own “no’s” in the future.

Boundaries, rather than pushing life away, allow others to see who you you choose to be, and to know their place inside or outside of your own own sacred sphere of existence. As the angels like to say, “Judgment says no right to be. Discernment says not right for me.”

When you embrace your own sacred point of view, you find a healthy balance between self care and service… simply by honestly honoring the guidance in your heart and your truth in each moment.

So this week, honor and respect the light within you.

When you truly become comfortable with who you are and what you want in your life, you tap into the endless and honest energy of the Divine as it wishes to express itself through your life and your being.

Saturday, June 07, 2014

Worlds within...

The adventure in ridding myself of the effects of the fibroids continued this week. Some of you have already read this on Facebook, but the story bears repeating here. Over two decades ago, when I first started praying for God to change my life, books on shamanism fell off the shelf even before the books on angels. I learned to journey into the dream spaces and converse with my guides for healing, information, and sometimes just to enjoy their love. And so suddenly without any thought last week I was compelled to take out some copal (wonderful smelling pine resin) that I brought back from Peru in 1997, get out my feathers and used the sweet smelling smoke to clear the energy in my home and aura. Next up was to drag out my shaman drum and use it as I once did - as a meditation tool - like a heartbeat that relaxes the mind and brings me inward.

And then the visions began - archetypal images of the dark and light within. I saw imagery of the creative, feminine, see-er and be-er within me, and then darker imagery of the crazy martyr within who felt it perfectly OK to sacrifice my own well being for the sake of others. I saw these two forces within vying for constant attention and power, and knew that they must exist in balance. I were too slanted on the side of just be-ing and having visions, I could forget my service. If I were too slanted on the side of the martyr I could forget myself and take on others' pains... I realized that this was the source of the fibroids as well. And so I honored both forces for what they had taught me, mediated between these seemingly conflicting energies, and asked them to help keep me perfectly in balance.

Huge energy started coursing through my body as I stopped pushing away that dark crazy side of myself willing to hurt for the sake of helping others. Jesus was called to that. My martyrdom was learned, not guided. So often Jesus has appeared to me or in clients' readings telling us to "Get down off the cross - that was my job." It is easy to say, "Oh yes, I know that," and yet many of us have a tendency to think it holy to hurt for the sake of others. I saw clearly that my willingness to put up with all sorts of pushing myself and allowing others to push me in the past just to make everyone happy had created hardened little warrior spirits within me that manifested as fibroids. I felt warmth swirling around them, and heat and I knew that the energy that held them in form was dissolving with every breath and beat of the drum.

Feeling full of life, I prayed for the earth, the creatures, the rain in dry areas, and all of you who have requested prayers. The more I prayed, the more I felt as if a huge river was beginning to flow through my being once again. Although I was pounding a steady rhythm on the drum it began to sing, very melodious tones and the smoke from my copal began to wildly swirl around me carrying away with it those energies no longer needed.

As I did more journeys into the dream, I saw a spirit guide of mine that I have not seen in over twenty years. He left one day... way back then and told me he would be back when I had finally learned to be gentle with myself. I was overcome with love and gratitude and he guided me through a visionary scene of rebirthing in the dream, and left me feeling strongly rooted between heaven and earth and wonderful in my body. By the next morning the fibroids had shrunk to the point I don't even feel them. I am ecstatic.

There are whole worlds within you. Visionary experiences are often an out-picturing of the energies within your own spirit. If you have a pain, ask it to take the image of a being and then have an inner conversations, asking it what it needs from you and thanking it for all it has taught you. By allowing these invisible energies to become visible in your imagination, you can work with them, negotiate with them, and allow your higher being - your true light to shine into those areas that you have cast aside and made separate. And in gathering these unknown and unseen energies back into the arms of love, you heal and transform them.

This week I saw the crazy martyr trying to suck me back into that reality, trying to make me ignore my own well being and push myself. But instead of pushing that side of my being away, I I thanked her! "Ah you are just trying to make sure I don't forget why I'm on earth. Thank you!" And with each acknowledgment, the urges to push myself would go away... temporarily, and the heat and warmth flooded me once again. What we are willing to look at and love we can heal. What we push away becomes larger and more insistent, vying for our attention in unhealthy ways.

So this week, go within. Ask the hidden parts of your spirit to reveal themsevles...maybe the wise ones, or as I did perhaps the ones causing you trouble, sabotaging your dreams, or creating illness. Honor and love them for the gifts they brought you. That's it! Just honor them. All parts within us are seeking love. All parts within us want to be acknowledged for their gifts. Just like souls outside of our being, the energies within us are also, no matter how awkwardly, seeking the light. These practices are just tools - ways to access the pieces of our soul that we have pushed aside, and bring them back, lovingly, into the arms of God where all wisdom, all healing, and all good manifestations take place.