Saturday, June 14, 2014

Boundaries define your sacred circle

The cactus says with all its thorny being… “If you want to harm me stay away, but if you simply want to rest in the shelter of my being, come on in!” Birds are welcome to burrow and nest in its cool interior, but predators who would rip it apart to steal a drink of the water stored within are kept away by the elaborate array of thorns.

Likewise, we can welcome those who treat us with love, respect, and kindness to come closer and be a part of our lives, while at the same time feeling no guilt whatsoever about kindly and firmly creating boundaries for those who would attempt to siphon our life force or treat us with less than loving kindness.

I struggled with the issue of boundaries in the past. I use to think that “loving all” meant indiscriminately allowing everyone to have their way in my life. I answered every call, every email, and gave up my own health and well being for the sake of serving others - all the while burning myself out and wondering why no one took care of me.

It was the angels who taught me years ago that healthy boundaries are an act of love. When you know who you are and what you want in your life you have no problem at all being lovingly and graciously kind and clear. There is no need for defensiveness or judgment - that comes from being insecure about your own sacred point of view.

Years ago I went up to a well known author at a conference where we were both speaking and asked him if he ever read and endorsed books by others. He snapped a quick “No!” at me and looked away. Later I went up and apologized to him for disturbing him, making it clear that I had no expectation but embraced the philosophy that if I didn’t ask, I wouldn’t know. He apologized for snapping and said that in truth he wished he could help everyone but just didn’t have the time, and that it was still hard for him to say no. I told him I completely understood… and made a mental note to firmly “own” my decisions so I could be more gracious with my own “no’s” in the future.

Boundaries, rather than pushing life away, allow others to see who you you choose to be, and to know their place inside or outside of your own own sacred sphere of existence. As the angels like to say, “Judgment says no right to be. Discernment says not right for me.”

When you embrace your own sacred point of view, you find a healthy balance between self care and service… simply by honestly honoring the guidance in your heart and your truth in each moment.

So this week, honor and respect the light within you.

When you truly become comfortable with who you are and what you want in your life, you tap into the endless and honest energy of the Divine as it wishes to express itself through your life and your being.