Saturday, April 12, 2014

Doubt be out!

This Internet TV show that I'm working on has propelled me into entirely new realms of growth. I wobbled about it a few weeks. Then I had to take many more days to learn to look natural in front of a camera. Now, a few days before I film 12 episodes, only six are on paper. Its going to be a long night but I have energy, inspiration, and a passion for this that is really bigger than I ever anticipated. I've been praying for years for a way to help share the angels' wisdom with those who can't reach my classes, and nothing has resonated with me until now. This entire thing has been guided, even if I temporarily forgot. And suddenly as I get out of my own way and cast the doubts aside, I feel a mighty force of love flowing through me - so much so that while I was practicing the other day, the golden light filled the room and I couldn't even see the camera! If that happens while I'm really filming I pray the viewers get a good dose of the love too!

However, for awhile even after I realized this was in my heart, the doubts began to plague me. Would I ever be able to look normal in front of a camera instead of stiff and contrive? It is not as easy at it look. I spent several days working at it, practicing over and over. I kept doubting, then casting doubts aside and telling myself, "You can do this!" until at long last I "made friends with the lens!"

Because that took so long, I had only a ten days to put together 12 episodes. It is different than creating one big class. I have to be more precise with my timing, logically ordered, and make time for the opening and closing of each show. And while everyone is telling me to wing it, and I could, I want to give you some very well thought out and designed material. It is fun, but it is also a LOT of work. Again I am telling myself, "You can do it. You can do it!" Just yesterday the doubts finally lost the battle. I now know this is going to come together and even if I don't sleep much its going to be fine and fun. I feel peaceful, confident, and very warm as the energy runs through me.

When I look back at my life, I can now see where I have let doubts interfere with my joy in the past. I have always pushed through them. I doubted my ability to come up with fresh newsletters each week. I doubted my ability to do readings. I doubted my ability to make a living as an intuitive. I doubted my own intuition in my own life at times! It feels amazing to have the energy of doubt, finally up and out!

With God all things are possible, and if God puts a desire to do something in you heart there's a reason even if you don't know why. I don't know why I felt the need to disrupt my quiet, peaceful, well ordered life, to add more work with no guarantees... but I DO know everything about it felt right and when I committed to it, the strength followed immediately.

So when you have a dream, a desire, or a passion, go for it! Commit. Put your whole heart and soul into it. Then see what happens. But just make sure to cast doubts aside along the way, so you can enjoy the entire journey! After all, now is where life happens!