Saturday, December 28, 2013

What do you want to create?

It has been a year of miracles for me. I have come to once again expect ease and grace and even when it doesn't happen, I try to shift quickly back into focusing upon what I want to create.

A few weeks ago, I was driving to Sedona for a day of adventure when the angels asked me, "What do you want to create?" I had quite a list, "I want beautiful, inspiring time in nature, loving interactions, happy surprises,..." I drove up the creek to fill up my rather large water bottles and three guys in a car pulled up just in time to help me carry them. They left when done, and I got to hike in total silence in the newly fallen snow. I rounded a corner on a hike just in time to take Christmas photos for family of tourists. Later I handed a candy cane to a total stranger, who opened up to share his entire life story with me, asked me to do a brief reading and a gaze with him to share the healing energy, then started telling me over and over how I changed his life in ten minutes. Not an hour went by before I ran into another beautiful soul I knew who I was able to connect with friends for a new business prospect. The entire day went on like this! I even ended it with a gloriously silent hike along a creek bed at sunset. I didn't realize I was hiking in a bull pasture until I suddenly found myself face to face with a HUGE black bull staring directly at me. I was so peaceful and filled with grace, that I felt no fear. "Hello!" I said looking into this beautiful creature's eyes. "Don't worry, I'm going the other way. " Calmly I climbed up a hillside, snuck out through a barbed wire fence, and drove home basking in good feelings.

Within an hour I broke my toe!! I get so happy sometimes that I run around like a puppy and do not pay attention to my body. I've done this SO many times. I wish I could say I handled this calmly but I did not! I was completely frustrated with myself. I started to imagine how this was going to ruin my holidays. I did what the angels have taught me and allowed myself my very human feelings, including a few choice words and a brief pity party, before the angels' words echoed in my head once more. "What do you want to create? This too is an opportunity for love." I want to create miraculously fast healing. I want it to heal even better than before! (I broke the same one two years ago and it never quite healed right). I want perfect alignment in my body. Hmm, maybe this can make me strengthen my weak side. I want to get so many things done and enjoy my holiday time off! And I want a hug now!"

Immediately I was surrounded by the angels' warmth and love. They advised me to ask for prayers on Facebook and so many dear souls sent me love and healing. After I'd calmed downed and found my center again, they reminded me that there is energy flowing through me these days that creates miracles for others. I started allowing it to flow and a searing heat burnt through the center of my foot. The spot turned bright red, and it felt like my foot was on fire. Heat and pain shot through the toe, and immediately I felt much better. Instead of feeling like a break only three days old, it felt like a break does after a few weeks of healing. I am still intending for a complete miracle!

So life can be glorious or challenging, but in each moment we get the CHANCE, and the CHOICE to create the next. I'm going to spend some time before New Year's Eve making my wish/create list for next year. At the stroke of midnight, I think I'll do what the angels' suggested and focus on the light that connects us all. After all, there is no greater joy than to feel the truth of who we are, individually and together as One.

I wish you all a blessed and magical New Year! May you feel the light that you are in ever expanding ways!

Saturday, December 21, 2013

A Christmas story

A Christmas story from my past...
'Twas the night before Christmas...

Christmas Eve 1995 was the last Christmas Eve I spent with my former husband. It was a glorious day. My life had changed that year, as I entered the world of energy, healers, angel and intuition. I spent the majority of the year working long hours at my job while at the same time pursuing my spiritual growth. I was in love with life and the world. I was in love with my husband. I wasn’t sure if I was pregnant or not at Christmastime because I kept having visions of a girl around me, who I could feel but not quite see. I had no idea that I would be taken up into the heavens that night for a beautiful encounter with my angels. It was a present that would change my life.

This was the best Christmas Eve I had ever enjoyed up to that point in my life - unhurried, filled with phone calls to loved ones, a beautiful dinner, and a sweet exhchange of presents. However, an hour before we were scheduled to leave for midnight mass, when my husband was in the shower, and I was simply sitting enjoying the lights, I felt a familiar buzz of energy running throughout my body. It got stronger and stronger until I felt a huge current spark throughout my entire being as if I had been shocked, but there was nothing electrical around me. Suddenly a piercing pain shot through my heart, burnt through the left side of my body and travelled down my left arm. I gasped, hunched over and started to pray. I didn’t know if I was having a heart attack or simply feeling some big energy burst through my body. I laid down on the couch, tried to breathe, and shut my eyes as I felt my spirit spiral out of my body. I found myself in another realm, surrounded by my guides a nd angels, feeling the an incredible sense of peace and wonder.

“You have completed one of the lessons you came to learn,” they told me. “What?” I asked inwardly, hoping I wasn’t dying. “You’ve learned that love is what matters most. Unconditional love.” “What lessons have you learned about presents?” they asked me. I told them that I had learned to enjoy material things because they were fun, but that I had learned they were no longer important in the greater scheme of life. I had learned that love is the only thing that truly matters, and the only thing that lasts.” I had a moment where I started wondering what had happened to me and where I was. I still didn’t know what had caused the pain in my body. I continued talking to my guides. “I want to live! I want to be of service! I want to share great joy and the abundance in my heart with mankind!” There in the other realms, talking to my guides, I felt the Presence of God’s love so strongly that I desired, craved… longed to share it with the world . I wanted to be of service as surely as a starving person longs for food, a parched soul longs for water, or a lonely soul longs for love. I felt the light of God’s love burning within, needing, desiring, bursting within me to be expressed into the world. I waited to see what would happen next. For just a second there was pure silence.

Suddenly, as I made this commitment to service and joy, I felt angels all around me, as if they were celebrating. “That is the decision we hoped you would make!” they exclaimed. I suddenly saw eight of them around me cradling me in their arms and doing energy work upon my light body. I felt myself to be pure light, but I felt I was encased in something, like a mask or a shell. One started to peel away this mask that was covering my face and soon I saw the mask was being peeled away from my entire body! I felt as if I was a spirit that had been mumified and the angels were unwrapping the fabric until only the light of my soul remained.

In this other realm, I stood up and hugged one of my guides. As soon as I touched him, we began to fly, not as birds do, but as energy must feel when it travels through space and time. When we slowed down we had materialized back into our bodies and were standing somewhere on a beautiful beach at sunrise or sunset. The sun was blazing brightly over the ocean’s horizon and waves lapped back and forth caressing my feet. It all felt very real. I forgot about the pain in my arm and simply asked questions. “Am I pregnant,” I asked. Suddenly I knew the answer. I was not “with child” but rather rebirthing myself. The scene changed in answer to the question and I suddenly found myself in the arms of what I can only label the archetypal goddess energy, who rocked and cradled me and kissed my forehead as one would kiss a baby. This powerful feminine enegy told me I would always be cared for and that I could return anytime. I knew this energy was the feminine face of God’ s love. “She” told me that her power was greater than the fury of a thousand storms on earth, and yet all she ever chose to share with her children was love. I felt at one with her, with life, and with my own spirit… and then she sent me back.

I woke up on the couch, feeling as if I had slipped back into my body as a hand finds its place in a glove. I felt empty, and started shaking and crying, feeling vulnerable to my core. I knew I had just made a commitment that would change my entire life and it scared me. What had I done? What had I said? What chain reaction of change had I initiated? The shaking was from fear, as I knew things would never be the same. I thought of the feminine energy that had just held me and insteantly, I felt a warmth burning through my body. Suddenly I knew that the light and the love I had witnessed in the other realms was there, very much alive within me. At midnight mass a mere hour later, I felt the angels all around me and felt as if my heart would burst.

A year later, the entire landscape of my life had changed. I was divorced - not because my husband and I lost love but because we realized how our paths had diverged to the point where the futures we wished to create were no longer in alignment. He wanted a conventional life with a normal wife and kids and I felt a calling to service. We had separated with kindness and love, but I was besieged by guilt. I was the one who had changed. All but one of my friends and both of our families did not understand. I was suddenly without companionship of any kind. I had quit my job in engineering and was “psychic in the window” at a local bookstore on the slowest days of the week. I had left my warm, cozy home, my dogs, and in fact my entire life, and was living in an apartment that I had decorated, but still felt empty.

I cried my heart out that first Christmas Eve on my own. I doubted my decisions. I felt guilty over not being the woman everyone expected me to be. I wondered if I was alone because I had done something wrong. And yet truth glimmered in my heart. I had touched heaven, seen the angels, and when I was honest with myself, I knew I was following my calling. I put on my winter coat, left my apartment, and stood under the stars on that very Silent Night and I prayed. “God let me feel your presence. I know you are there. Fill me with your love. Help me remember why I am going through all this. Let me be of service, but first please let me feel your love. I feel alone and I know I am not.”

Slowly the light began to glimmer in my own heart. I woke up on Christmas morning knowing I had to take charge of my life and my happiness. I knew I had done all this for a reason. On a very non-traditional Christmas, I climbed Camelback mountain and sat basking a the top in an atmosphere of love and family and friendship with total strangers. I remembered that I was never alone, but rather intricately connected with all of life, nature, and humanity. In subsequent years, I created new traditions, sharing my love of the holiday season with friends and family and as many souls as I can touch. The Christmas spirit never left me. I only thought it did, during that one year of change. It is there for all of us, every day of our lives, with every breath, for it is the spirit of love from which we are all made.

No matter what you celebrate, I wish you a joyous holiday, a beautiful Christmas, and a beautiful every day of your life. In every breath we breathe with awareness, we allow the Presence of God’s love to burn more brightly within our own hearts. I can think of no greater gift, than the gift of a life lived in this body, on this earth, feeling that love.

Merry Christmas and Happy Holy Holidays to you!
Love you all,
Ann

Saturday, December 14, 2013

Perfect as is

in the past, I have been guilty of comparing myself to others and feeling like I didn't measure up. I'll never forget an exercise the angels gave me to help rid me of that tendency. They told me to make little pedestals out of wood, and to make little clay figures of everyone I put on a pedestal - everyone I thought was better, smarter, prettier, more spiritual, etc. I found that I would have had to make thousands of figures so instead I chose a few representative ones. Jesus was one of my favorites. Even the angels had to admit He was more spiritual, I thought to myself. I finally found someone I could compare myself with; someone I felt completely justified putting on a pedestal!

So, after I finished my exercise I sat there looking at all these little clay figures sitting on their pedestals, knowing the angels were trying to say, "Look these are all made of clay, the same stuff! You are all made of God's love, the same stuff! Get it?" I got it intellectually. "But Jesus, you were so much more loving than I could ever be," I said quietly. Suddenly and without any reason at all, the little white clay figure of Jesus that I had created flew off his pedestal and landed in front of me. It didn't fall, it flew. I heard the angels laughing. "Stop comparing yourself with Me." I heard. "We are ALL made of God's love. We all have a place and a purpose, equally important." I felt a mighty force of love surge through my being and knew that the comparisons had to stop. As one dear souls said to me years later, the legs of a table are as important as the top!

So now I do not compare myself. I am who I am. I am not the most beautiful, nor polished soul on the planet. I stumble over words in classes and sometimes down stairs. I have a nice home and a nice life but not as much as some do, more than others. I know what talents I do have and which I do not. I will have a very happy Christmas but certainly not the one portrayed by Normal Rockwell. And finally, thank you God, finally, I have reached a point in my life where all I am trying to be is me. A rose would go crazy trying to emulate a tulip and vice versa. We are here only to be who we are. So if you, like I once was, are prone to comparing yourself with others, either subtly or overtly... Stop. You are perfect as you are. You are who you are. And that is all you have to be! What a gift that is!

Saturday, December 07, 2013

Good is everywhere!

I love the holidays! It is a time when my playful and creative spirit comes to the surface and spills over. I have been known to "elf" people by making wreaths that I then stick on their doors late at night, leaving them to be found the next morning. I like to carry candy canes in my purse and give them to the clerks at the stores. I swap recipes with strangers in the grocery store. I share my home with friends, make homemade goodies, and allow myself to sit on the couch and watch happy Christmas movies. I share a little more deeply with people, and I can't stop thinking about how to create beauty in the lives of all those I care about. The seaon gives us all a reason to love a little bit more, to look a little more deeply for the good in others, and to draw from our hearts the good that is always there just waiting to be shared.

There is a human tendency to focus on what is wrong with the world or wrong with our lives. And yet how much more beautiful to look at what is right. I've told this story before. I was in a store when a lady was complaining loudly to the poor young clerk who could not fix her problem. I silently looked for something good in this woman and saw laugh lines on her face. "At least you have a sense of humor," I telepathically sent her soul the message. She stopped, looked at the clerk and said something to the effect of, "Well, I guess we just have to laugh at this!" I could hardly believe it! Another time I had run to the store to get some supplies for a spontaneous trip. I heard two girls loudly arguing about what sort of bug spray to get to prevent bedbugs! Their discussion was so loud and went on so long, I knew the angels were trying to reach me. "Ok God, NO bedbugs for me!" I prayed. Sure enough some folks in the hotel where I stayed got b ed bugs, but I did not. These girls, whom most would have considered obnoxious were a good warning in my life, even as they struggled to keep their own travels easier! The glass is always half empty and, at the same time, half full... what will we focus upon?

When we look for the good in another, we draw it forth. When we look for the good in our world, we empower it. When we focus upon something we give it our energy, our light, and the most precious gift of our present moment in time. I no longer want to waste precious moments of life focusing on what is wrong with this world. Instead the angels have taught me to look around, or as Jesus said, "turn the other cheek," and look for what is good in the hearts and souls of human beings. It certainly makes our lives a lot happier, and as we shine this light of our acknowledgment upon others they just might step into greater light themselves.