Saturday, September 28, 2013

Presents in the present

I love the times in my life when I can truly live an unplanned day, free to go where my heart guides me. It happened last weekend. I set aside Sunday as a day of rest, and decided I would do whatever my heart felt like. I woke up after only three hours of sleep craving time in the forests of Sedona. And so within a few hours I was in my car, being treated to the most glorious sunrise, feeling grateful for life, and praying with a heart that was overflowing with gratitude for everyoneI could think of.

The clouds were ominous when I reached Sedona. It looked as if someone had draped a dark grey cloth with multiple folds across the sky that I had been wanting to be sunny and bright for my hike. So I started my fun little affirmation, "I am the sun that burns the clouds away," and imagined the sun burning the clouds away. The park ranger at the trail head cautioned me, "It is supposed to thunderstorm." In spite of the warning, everything inside of me felt it was fine to hike. So, I went anyway, still picturing the weather clearing up. Sure enough within twenty minutes the sun came out, the clouds were driven away and the day turned into the most glorious cool and beautiful day I have seen in ages. 4.5 miles back into the trail, beyond the place where it stops and where I had to hike in the chilly water, I saw a lone butterfly. "Hi sweetie! I love you! Can I take your picture," I called to him or her. She flew around me a few times and proc eeded to land on my wrist! I was beyond enchanted. It seemed as if the day just kept getting better.

These unplanned days fill my heart and soul. I re-enter the currents of grace once again, re-align with my own heart, and refill my spirit. It takes me several hours to hike to the back of the trail and yet I am so charged with nature's life force that I feel like a gazelle flying through the forest at times on the way back. I feel enlivened, even after hiking 8 miles after little sleep. I feel joyous.

So when you feel "off" in your life, schedule at least several hours if not an entire day, where you can get in touch with your heart and see where it leads you. You may not even know what your heart wants. I once was so immersed in drama and problems that I had no clue what I wanted but the angels gave me this advice. So I woke up and still had no clue. "Sit quietly in silence until you do," they advised me. I think I sat for three hours, feeling thoroughly frustrated until my mind finally turned off and I had the strange desire to go ride a horse. (I don't ride horses even though I love them!). So I found a local stable, drove down and signed up for a trail ride. "Where's your boyfriend?" the salty old cowboy leading the ride asked me. "Don't have one," I answered. "I'll be your boyfriend for a day," he told me. I laughed so hard I nearly fell off the horse. "Just keep me on this trail, please," I responded. We both laughed. The angels had known I needed to lighten up. I have had many occasions where I've been guided somewhere, simply to lighten up, loosen up my mind's grip on my soul, and re-enter a more joyous reality.

And while I have often listed the million things I had to do instead, the angels patiently wait until I'm done with that nonsense, and remind me that nothing is more important than being aligned with my own heart. They know that life is meant to be lived and that if I listen to my heart then everything that matters will get done. I will die with a to do list. I may as well live a heart centered life now! Of course after one of these days of spontenaity, the to do list is suddenly so much easier to do and gets done so much more quickly. Living "now" truly is the easiest and most joyful way to live.

Have a blessed week... one moment at a time!
I love you all,
Ann

PS - A question I often get, is, "How do you plan for the future if you live now." For example say I want to take a trip in the future. I know I do but now I do not feel like booking reservations. So I wait until I do. If I miss the deadlines, I didn't really want it, or maybe God has better in mind. Likewise, I must schedule clients to get them on the books and to make a living. I do this when I feel like it, so my heart and soul are in the effort. I do not make myself do so when I am too tired to think straight. So you can live now, and be inspired now, even to plan future events.

Saturday, September 21, 2013

Love for the lost

Over the last 18 years I have spoken to many individuals who have been subjected to all kinds of violence - rape, beating, verbal abuse, and even those on the other side who have been murdered. I have been attacked by angry spirits in the past, and have been subject to hateful diatribes of those who have differing beliefs from my own. You would think that this would discourage a person. At times it has, but more often I am in awe of the strength and beauty of the human heart, that despite any pain seeks so desperately to find its way back to love. And this is why, when I hear of violence in the world, I must pray not only for the victims and their families but also for the unconscious and lost souls who commit these crimes because they are in dire need of healing too.

When someone is unkind, angry or abusive towards me, of course I don't like it. I often have to take myself to my room, shut the door, and rant and rave in private to vent out the pain and hurt. Without fail, however, underneath that pain, I find understanding, compassion, and a knowing that the soul that just hurt me is hurting as well. I do not ever want to perpetuate that pain. And so I pray. I ask God to show me how to deal with the person if I must, or I make a determination to move away, set healthy boundaries, but still hold them in my heart for greater love.

For example, I once had someone I cared about very much who was going through a hard time come unglued with me. I said something that they perceived to be insensitive and this person's rage and anger came out as they yelled at me for a good half hour. I stood there, feeling their pain being aimed at me, and I pointed my hands to ground to drain off the energy while I just listened and sent love. When we were done, all I said was, "I'm sorry I hurt you. Everything I do is upsetting you so we should just take time apart." The response floored me, "No, its me. I'm sorry." We had a great healing discussion.

It wasn't always this graceful! There was the ex-boyfriend decades ago who had a lot of rage. "The swimming pool looks great," he said. "Thanks," I said, "I cleaned it yesterday." He started raging at me. "I fixed the pump last week. You never acknowledge me! You have to take all the credit!" He grabbed two steaming mugs of tea and threw the boiling water all over. I jumped back. He stormed into the back room and started dumping drawers upside down. "I can't stand you!" he shouted among other things. He was crazed with anger and I knew it. Something in me took over and I leapt like a flying squirrel, tackling this large man onto the bed, where he lay unharmed, pinning him down at the shoulders and looking into his eyes. I spoke calmy but firmly, as a mother would do to a two year old throwing a raging tantrum. "Calm down. You're not mad at me. You're mad at people in your past. I do appreciate what you do. Breathe." I kept looking in his eyes with the power and presence of God's strength and love, and suddenlyt he started laughing and crying. Needless to say the relationship didn't last, but at least the anger was diffused and no one got hurt. I heard from subsequent women he dated that he was very kind to them. And believe it or not, that made me happy. He learned his lessons. And I learned the healing power of balancing firm boundaries with compassion.

The angry souls in your life are just hurting. Walk away if you have to. I have many times. Speak calmly, lovingly, and firmly if necessary. Let yourself have your upsets, angers, and frustrations in private and vent them out. But in the end, try so hard to remember, that the most upsetting souls are the ones most in need of our love and prayers. They are the unloved children, the abandoned angels, and the victimized martyrs who finally lost their ability to love. While we choose to be healthy and to be around those whom either uplift us or those we can truly help, let our hearts and prayers also be a beacon praying for those in such dire pain to find a way back home.

Saturday, September 14, 2013

Cycles of change

When I lived in an apartment years ago I remember thinking that I loved it, and the lifestyle it afforded me so much I could never give it up. Yet when the time came for me to move to the home I am now in, I couldn't wait to leave! There have been things in my life that I thought I would never part with, and one day they simply no longer delight me so I pass them on. There have been friends I thought I would have for life that suddenly changed and were no longer in my lives. There was a great career that my entire life up to that point had led me to which, one day, I suddenly gave up.

I seem to be an a lifelong cycle of changes! The angels are right. There are periods of dormancy too. I once joked with a client that I know if I am inclined to sit on the couch in the evenings and watch "The Food Network" for months, then I know suddenly I will wake up with the idea for a new class or a new book and be crazy busy. I surrender to these cycles, knowing that my heart knows a timing that I do not. The animals for example, sense the seasons. The bears are not thinking to themselves, "Let's see, we better eat a lot now. It will be time to hibernate in a few months!" Instead they are simply responding to life, filling their bellies on the late summer harvest, and slowing down when the colder temperatures begin to set in. Everything in nature responds to its natural cycles. We can too.

You will know when it is time to make change in your life when something suddenly feels inspiring or exciting. You will know when the old thoughts, beliefs, or things are not making you happy. You will know when you suddenly feel as if you no longer fit the circumstances, situations, or circles in which you reside. Change does take courage sometimes. It is hard to say to someone, "I no longer want to do this thing that we have done together for so long." It can be challenging to part with a pair of jeans that was once so comfy but no longer fits! It can be very hard at times to part with old upsets, frustrations, and beliefs that feel so familiar, and risk opening your heart to new people in your life. Yet if we are willing to change and release the old when the natural urge to do so hits us, we find an even greater joy, even greater freedom, and most of all evidence of the constant and unending love of God as this Source directs our lives.

Saturday, September 07, 2013

Freedom to choose

The angel message reminds me of something I once heard the Dalai Lama say. When asked why he didn't hate those who had taken over Tibet and caused him to be in exile, he said something to the effect of "I had given up lives and country, why should I give up my mind?" This man who has more than just cause to feel sorry for himself than most of us ever would has chosen to make his life a brilliant beacon of inspiration. How many of us will ever be exiled, have to escape our homes, hike in the harsh climate of the Himalayas, and cross a huge river... all in the middle of the night, while fleeing for our lives? It is so easy to lose perspective on how wonderful our lives truly are.

So when you feel trapped in any way, remember as the Dalai Lama indicated, your mind is free. You are free to choose. You may feel stuck because you have to take care of someone. For several years I was committed to taking care of my aging dogs. I often said, "I had to," but the angels reminded me "I chose to." And in retrospect, I did choose to let them live until they indicated they were ready to go. The love was amazing. I'm glad I did. I have said, "I have to work more to pay the bills," when in reality I could "choose" to give up some of life's conveniences and work a little less. It is a balance. Years ago I read a book called, "Your Money or Your Life," by Joe Dominguez that gave me great perspective there too.

So next time you catch yourself saying, "I have to," remind yourself, "I choose to." Even though it may seem our choices are limited, the more I work with angels, the more I see that we are actually far more free than we believe. Years ago, I asked the angels about a friendship that was forming and asked if it would go any further. "Well my dear the possibilities are endless. It is more likely you will be friends. However, you could become lovers. You could love one another, break up and then kill one another. You could walk in the woods and be eaten by bears!" They went on for some time, quite humorously but I did see their point! Every decision we make changes our future! Can you imagine the possibilities? They are greater than anything that even a supercomputer could produce, given the fact that we have opportunities for choice with each breath. We choose... and what a powerful freedom that is!