Saturday, January 12, 2013

Loving the dog...

It is easy to choose love when life is marvelous, you feel great, and everyone is behaving kindly around you. The real mastery occurs when you don't feel so good, when life is challenging and/or when people are not acting as you wish. Hard as it can be at times to break old human habits, choosing love really does feel better, and when you live in that truth and that higher vibration you do truly reap the rewards.

Take me and my little dog Lucy for example. I love that girl. I've done everything in my human capacity to make her comfortable and happy. Her grocery and supplement bill rivals mine. The house is lined with towels and non skid pads so when her arthritis acts up she doesn't slip and fall, and when messes happen they are easily laundered. I hold her at night, wake her up gently (after she wakes me up on and off all night), Reiki her, deliver her breakfast in bed on her tough mornings, and am kind and understanding when she needs to interrupt client sessions. She can be so sweet and cute and cuddly, but there have been many times over the course of our relationship that she's been positively hateful towards me. I have pictures to prove it otherwise no one would believe this sweet little angel could cop such an attitude!

It has alternately pained and infuriated me over the years, to the point at times when I wondered if she'd be happier with others. Nonetheless, after praying I always got the message that she needed the tenacious love I could provide, and needed the mastery that her lessons could provided. "She is your teacher of annoyance," the angels once said. Oh my goodness. It all made sense. I love her with all my heart, yet no one, human or otherwise on this planet has pushed my buttons with such laser like precision. "She really knows how to get you," the angels said. So I did as I always do, and I prayed. "God create peace in my heart even when she is in her worst moods! Show me how to handle them lovingly!" God, of course, answered.

This morning I didn't microwave her gourmet doggie breakfast fast enough, and so she trotted off into her bedroom to pout. So I followed the guidance I was getting. I let her pout and went to get some work done. An hour later I checked back in on her. "I love you. Are you ready for breakfast?" She turned away from me as she often does while in a "mood." I followed her gaze and looked into her eyes. "Love you," I said. "You're precious even if you are cranky." She shut her eyes and sighed. I felt the energy of love flowing through me genuinely and went to hug her. She resisted, but I kept sending her silent love till at long last she gave in, smiled as if to say, "Ok you got me," and fell asleep peacefully in my arms. I tip-toed out and she woke up later in a very good mood.

Now I know we can't baby everyone in our lives, nor would I even want to! In many cases it is the healthy thing to walk away from situations where others place expectations on us that don't resonate with our souls. However, I love Lucy and although there were a few times over the last twelve years where I was tempted to find her another home, in truth I wanted to work things out and create as much peace and love between us as she will allow. Clients who take care of young children or their elderly parents often report similar concerns. They love. They care, but they are often burnt out trying to make their charges happy all the time. And so the angels advise them as they did with me, "Take care of yourself too. You can't give when you're running on empty. You can't satisfy another's demands all the time, nor are you expected to. Find the balance. Release yourself from others' expectation." I love that last quote….

Release yourself from others' expectations...

I have accepted the fact that I would never ever be able to please my dog all the time unless I became independently wealthy, quit my job, fed her by hand and sat with her every waking moment. But I know in my heart that my love is enough even when she doesn't think so. Most of the time, thank God, she agrees! And when she doesn't I'll allow her her moods and love her anyway. After all, loving always feels better.

Saturday, January 05, 2013

The power of love

During the course of putting my self love class together last year, I found myself in self-love bootcamp. I made every conceivable "mistake" I could imagine. I got sick, accidentally allowed a fire to start in my house, made silly financial decisions, and even on the day of the workshop found that because I had not tried out the shoes I meant to wear, discovered last minute that the bottom was coming apart! A good attitude, a practice of love for the true self, and in the case of the shoe, some good super glue came to the rescue!

Once again I found myself needing the power of focused love again during my Christmas break. I look forward to this vacation all year. I love the peace of the season, the beauty of the lights, the good food, good friends, and time to catch up, do crafts, and relax. This year however, as the saying almost goes, DOG had other plans! Little Lucy my Labrador started walking tipsily and acting strange on Christmas Eve. So while cooking and wrapping presents, I helped her around the house and calmed her and all in all we had a beautiful and magical time. The real trouble began that night and as midnight struck heralding Christmas morn, I realized my vacation was going to the dog! Suddenly this sweet little puppy was manic, pacing, panting, and twitching. She seemed to be having hallucinations. She wanted me to help her out, then fell over, got up, and came in. This went on for hours till at long last at 6am I fell asleep till she woke me up two hours later... walking. I thought things were well until night came and the crazy behaviors started once again. This night I spent six hours on the tile floor with her where she fell and refused to get up. I put blankets under her to keep her warm, got my own pillow and blankets and sang to her until she fell asleep. This went on for three days and nights. In my sleep deprived state I started feeling crazy and none too gracious and I realized I'd better pull out the self love practices asap or I was going to get all worked up. I sat and prayed hard, first for my own peace of mind. That came swiftly with the now familiar soothing feeling of heat running up and down my spine. Next I spent an hour doing mantras and asking God to guide me to a solution. Of course, one was forthcoming. Without thinking I grabbed the iPad in bed and googled "doggie detention." I hit gold. Sure enough there were all the symptoms. I wasn't crazy after all... Last year the vet had warned me of early signs, but I had completely forgotten.

CCD, or Canine Cognitive Disorder, as it is called, might be more aptly named Crazy Confused Dog. Luckily the articles on the web pointed to solutions. The minute the stores were open I was getting Ginko for her brain function, melatonin to help her reset her internal clock and this thing called a "Comfort Zone Diffuser" which emits the same pheromones as nursing mother dogs. Presto! It was Magic! Within the day my happy little girl was back, smiling, relaxing, and still not letting me sleep all that much, but at least being peaceful, graceful, and kind once again. We even enjoyed a smiling photo shoot. Once again peace returned to my house.

It is so easy to get down on yourself when life doesn't look like you want. It is easy to feel bad when we aren't our best. But it is imperative that we remember the truth of who we are, because if we don't we'll take out the lie of who we aren't on life and the world around us. So next time you're not feeling like sweet wonderful you, take some time to care for yourself, acknowledge yourself, and focus on what IS true within you. I was still a caring and compassionate soul even when frustrated beyond belief. I was still a good person when I was wishing my dog was on the other side during the worst of it. I was still an incarnation of God's love when I was throwing a serious tantrum to heaven about my vacation being "messed up." In truth as soon as I remembered who I was, I felt worthy of help, I remembered to ask for help, and I got help. Suddenly my vacation went back to God :) And that is where I want my entire life to be rooted and reside… in the truth that we are all made of the same stuff… the light, love, and truth of God!

Tuesday, January 01, 2013

Giving thanks for it all

I love New Year's! It feels like a great excuse to say out with the old and in with the new! I used to take time each New Year's to look back and see what I could do better, but the angels have taught me to look back and give thanks for everything I've been through - the "good," the "bad," and yes even "the ugly," as we like to say!

So as I look back this year, I give thanks for everything. I went through some painful circumstances in my personal life that led me to trust God more deeply and to know and teach self love for a very deep and beautiful place. I went through health challenges that helped me learn to take care of my spirit and therefore body in whole new wondrous ways. I went through a small house fire that led me to a clean and beautifully upgraded home that I absolutely love. I became even closer and developed even more beautiful relationships with my family. I learned to truly relax when I needed to. I reconnected with my love of creativity. I found a level of deep authenticity that I didn't even know was there. As a result my life now feels magical once again. It is peaceful, and while there will always be challenges, I have a deep and abiding trust that truly God will carry me through anything I create with great grace if I allow for it.

It is a beautiful thing to look back over the year and find the gifts in everything you have experienced, because this makes you feel abundant, loved, and blessed, no matter how great the challenges.

I wish all of you a beautiful new year, a year of hope, inspiration, love, joy, abundance, and all that your heart desires. Above all, I wish you the joy of knowing that you are perfect exactly as you are, even as we become so much more.