Saturday, September 21, 2013

Love for the lost

Over the last 18 years I have spoken to many individuals who have been subjected to all kinds of violence - rape, beating, verbal abuse, and even those on the other side who have been murdered. I have been attacked by angry spirits in the past, and have been subject to hateful diatribes of those who have differing beliefs from my own. You would think that this would discourage a person. At times it has, but more often I am in awe of the strength and beauty of the human heart, that despite any pain seeks so desperately to find its way back to love. And this is why, when I hear of violence in the world, I must pray not only for the victims and their families but also for the unconscious and lost souls who commit these crimes because they are in dire need of healing too.

When someone is unkind, angry or abusive towards me, of course I don't like it. I often have to take myself to my room, shut the door, and rant and rave in private to vent out the pain and hurt. Without fail, however, underneath that pain, I find understanding, compassion, and a knowing that the soul that just hurt me is hurting as well. I do not ever want to perpetuate that pain. And so I pray. I ask God to show me how to deal with the person if I must, or I make a determination to move away, set healthy boundaries, but still hold them in my heart for greater love.

For example, I once had someone I cared about very much who was going through a hard time come unglued with me. I said something that they perceived to be insensitive and this person's rage and anger came out as they yelled at me for a good half hour. I stood there, feeling their pain being aimed at me, and I pointed my hands to ground to drain off the energy while I just listened and sent love. When we were done, all I said was, "I'm sorry I hurt you. Everything I do is upsetting you so we should just take time apart." The response floored me, "No, its me. I'm sorry." We had a great healing discussion.

It wasn't always this graceful! There was the ex-boyfriend decades ago who had a lot of rage. "The swimming pool looks great," he said. "Thanks," I said, "I cleaned it yesterday." He started raging at me. "I fixed the pump last week. You never acknowledge me! You have to take all the credit!" He grabbed two steaming mugs of tea and threw the boiling water all over. I jumped back. He stormed into the back room and started dumping drawers upside down. "I can't stand you!" he shouted among other things. He was crazed with anger and I knew it. Something in me took over and I leapt like a flying squirrel, tackling this large man onto the bed, where he lay unharmed, pinning him down at the shoulders and looking into his eyes. I spoke calmy but firmly, as a mother would do to a two year old throwing a raging tantrum. "Calm down. You're not mad at me. You're mad at people in your past. I do appreciate what you do. Breathe." I kept looking in his eyes with the power and presence of God's strength and love, and suddenlyt he started laughing and crying. Needless to say the relationship didn't last, but at least the anger was diffused and no one got hurt. I heard from subsequent women he dated that he was very kind to them. And believe it or not, that made me happy. He learned his lessons. And I learned the healing power of balancing firm boundaries with compassion.

The angry souls in your life are just hurting. Walk away if you have to. I have many times. Speak calmly, lovingly, and firmly if necessary. Let yourself have your upsets, angers, and frustrations in private and vent them out. But in the end, try so hard to remember, that the most upsetting souls are the ones most in need of our love and prayers. They are the unloved children, the abandoned angels, and the victimized martyrs who finally lost their ability to love. While we choose to be healthy and to be around those whom either uplift us or those we can truly help, let our hearts and prayers also be a beacon praying for those in such dire pain to find a way back home.