Saturday, May 04, 2013

Love from within

Lately I have been feeling the love of God in every facet of my life. My days have been magical, easy, and blessed by greater joy rising up within my heart than ever before. My errands and work are getting done in a beautiful flow, and I feel God's presence rising up in my heart spilling over in every area of my life. My doggies in heaven are ever present and I feel a connection with life that is beyond description. I am thanking God with every breath.

This magic didn't come to me by magic however. It came because I sought to bring this love to the surface in some of the most emotionally and physically trying times of my life over the last several years. Most of you have heard of my doggie adventures. For the last four years I have cared for elder dogs - first Bruno, then Lucy - until they transitioned in beauty into the higher realms. I slept on the couch for years so I could let them out easily at night. I did 5-10 loads of laundry a day, prepared special meals, helped them walk, and spent thousands on their care. Bruno howled at me impatiently for my attention during the last several months of his life, and Lucy glared at me on a regular basis for the last thirteen years when she did not get her way. In many ways, I laid down my life to care for these two beings whom I dearly loved, and I would do it again if I had to. Honestly, however, I didn't always do it with the greatest love. There were many times when I was exhausted, short on patience, and not always convinced I was worthy of the love of God in these lesser moments. I knew better. I didn't always feel it.

However after years of working with the angels, I knew that I had to set aside these feelings that I was anything less than the pure love and light of God, as we all are. I learned to have compassion for myself as a human being. I had to find love when love was not easy - both for myself, and at times for my glaring little furry girl. I had to find a strength that came, not from sleep but from tapping into the endless source of creation. And I had to trust, trust, trust, that God who animates and cares for all creation would take care of the financial needs as I watched my money flow out the door and down the laundry. I had to learn that being true to myself, my deeper and more loving self, would also catalyze the growth and movement in others around me.

In the end I learned to find God's love within me, so strongly that I could bring it to the surface no matter what - for both myself, my dogs, people who hated me and those who loved me. Within weeks of finally managing this level of mastery, God sent me to Braco whose powerful healing energy gave me the strength to love through the final challenging months of Lucy's life, and through whom the power that runs the universe reached into my heart to wash away my grief. I was gifted on the outside with the Divine love I had found within - magnified and deepened in ways I had not thought possible. I was granted healing of my body, relief from guilt and sadness, and a sustaining force of light that I can now share more deeply with others.

So even when you find yourself in circumstances where it is hard to love, love yourself. When you are not your best, choose to be compassionate to yourself. When you are tired, be kind to yourself and sit with God and the angels, simply breathing, and asking to be recharged. And endless source of energy flows through all of creation. We can tap into it. An endless source of love is available. It is inside of us. An endless source of inspiration is provided in the form of others who need the love you have to offer. Offer it.

The rewards are worth the work. Since Lucy's passing, the love she, Bruno, and I have shared is beyond description. I spend time with them in spirit every day. We have gone hiking, visited friends, and swirled in and out of each others' souls. My days are flowing with a grace and ease that started even when times were much harder. My dog's passing did not render my life beautiful. Love rendered my life beautiful. And while there were many times in the past that Lucy and I could have done better, I choose to focus only upon the love we did find for one another, for in the end this is the only thing that matters.

So this week, be kind to yourselves no matter what the circumstances and challenges of your lives. Be true to your own hearts first, knowing that as you are, all those around you will grow. Be compassionate with yourselves. It is not a sin to be human. It is a glorious opportunity to deepen our awareness of the Love that we are.


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