Saturday, February 23, 2013

Love those in pain

I am, without question, a deeply empathic soul. When I am not consciously "tuned out" I can look at someone in a crowd and feel them. I can think of someone miles away and experience their emotional energy field. It is both my gift and my challenge. I have had to work very hard to learn to feel and acknowledge my clients' pain while at the same time staying in a space of God's love. Usually I can do this.

This week however, when a woman I love and respect wrote to tell me her husband had died suddenly in his sleep, I couldn't help but fall into the depths of the grief she was feeling. I knew I had to get out of it so I could help her so I let myself do the human thing, grabbed my towels and had a good sob, but then started praying. "God let me be your love for this beautiful soul. Let me help her through this. Let me be strong for her." And soon I was filled with a love and compassion so deep that I was able to check in on her husband and relay a message. It was so hard not to feel the sorrow for a fellow human being going through such an intenesly painful situation, and yet I knew I must get myself back into that space of love if I was to be of service.

Likewise, I have several people I know who are going through tough times right now. I love them deeply but rather than feeling sad for them, I spend time every night allowing myself to be filled with God's love and then directing that light to them. I picture them happy, healthy, prosperous and whole because I know if I hold that vision for them, I can be of greater service, than if I focus on their pain. I am compassionate, caring, and understanding when we talk, but I do my best to stay in a space of love.

When I first started to really understand this principle, I almost felt as if I had lost my compassion and my ability to care. I had always associated "care" with "keeping misery company." The angels once said to me, "Ann you will see that you are able to care more deeply, when you seem not to care as much." It took years to really get that. What they meant is that I needed to care about loving those going through tough times, not pitying them in their pain. I am now able to sit with people going through the unthinkable and to love them through it. I am able to look through God's eyes and see another's strengths and capabilities even when they can't. And I am not in a space of suffering with them. I am, instead, with them, offering love and deep compassion. I am offering a way out of the pain, not keeping them company in it.

So if someone you love is suffering, try not to stay in the pain with them. Instead be there for them as a force of love, very much as a little child needs a loving mother or father to run to when they are in pain. You can be that figure that says simply to them, "Its going to be OK. You are going to get through this. I believe in you. I love you."

Love, after all, is the mightiest force in the universe, and certainly the greatest healer.