Saturday, January 05, 2013

The power of love

During the course of putting my self love class together last year, I found myself in self-love bootcamp. I made every conceivable "mistake" I could imagine. I got sick, accidentally allowed a fire to start in my house, made silly financial decisions, and even on the day of the workshop found that because I had not tried out the shoes I meant to wear, discovered last minute that the bottom was coming apart! A good attitude, a practice of love for the true self, and in the case of the shoe, some good super glue came to the rescue!

Once again I found myself needing the power of focused love again during my Christmas break. I look forward to this vacation all year. I love the peace of the season, the beauty of the lights, the good food, good friends, and time to catch up, do crafts, and relax. This year however, as the saying almost goes, DOG had other plans! Little Lucy my Labrador started walking tipsily and acting strange on Christmas Eve. So while cooking and wrapping presents, I helped her around the house and calmed her and all in all we had a beautiful and magical time. The real trouble began that night and as midnight struck heralding Christmas morn, I realized my vacation was going to the dog! Suddenly this sweet little puppy was manic, pacing, panting, and twitching. She seemed to be having hallucinations. She wanted me to help her out, then fell over, got up, and came in. This went on for hours till at long last at 6am I fell asleep till she woke me up two hours later... walking. I thought things were well until night came and the crazy behaviors started once again. This night I spent six hours on the tile floor with her where she fell and refused to get up. I put blankets under her to keep her warm, got my own pillow and blankets and sang to her until she fell asleep. This went on for three days and nights. In my sleep deprived state I started feeling crazy and none too gracious and I realized I'd better pull out the self love practices asap or I was going to get all worked up. I sat and prayed hard, first for my own peace of mind. That came swiftly with the now familiar soothing feeling of heat running up and down my spine. Next I spent an hour doing mantras and asking God to guide me to a solution. Of course, one was forthcoming. Without thinking I grabbed the iPad in bed and googled "doggie detention." I hit gold. Sure enough there were all the symptoms. I wasn't crazy after all... Last year the vet had warned me of early signs, but I had completely forgotten.

CCD, or Canine Cognitive Disorder, as it is called, might be more aptly named Crazy Confused Dog. Luckily the articles on the web pointed to solutions. The minute the stores were open I was getting Ginko for her brain function, melatonin to help her reset her internal clock and this thing called a "Comfort Zone Diffuser" which emits the same pheromones as nursing mother dogs. Presto! It was Magic! Within the day my happy little girl was back, smiling, relaxing, and still not letting me sleep all that much, but at least being peaceful, graceful, and kind once again. We even enjoyed a smiling photo shoot. Once again peace returned to my house.

It is so easy to get down on yourself when life doesn't look like you want. It is easy to feel bad when we aren't our best. But it is imperative that we remember the truth of who we are, because if we don't we'll take out the lie of who we aren't on life and the world around us. So next time you're not feeling like sweet wonderful you, take some time to care for yourself, acknowledge yourself, and focus on what IS true within you. I was still a caring and compassionate soul even when frustrated beyond belief. I was still a good person when I was wishing my dog was on the other side during the worst of it. I was still an incarnation of God's love when I was throwing a serious tantrum to heaven about my vacation being "messed up." In truth as soon as I remembered who I was, I felt worthy of help, I remembered to ask for help, and I got help. Suddenly my vacation went back to God :) And that is where I want my entire life to be rooted and reside… in the truth that we are all made of the same stuff… the light, love, and truth of God!

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