Saturday, June 30, 2012

Rejection is redirection

I've had so many rejections in this life that I can't count them. Some have been painful, like the boyfriend in my younger days storming out yelling that I was "too much work" because I asked him not to take his anger out on me. Some have been remarkably funny, like the guy who hit on me at a party until he found out what I did for a living. "I am the exact opposite of you!" he practically fumed, in frustration. "I'm a litigation attorney!" The insinuation was that he used his brain and I did not. I laughed all the way home.

The angels words are oh so true. Rejection rarely feels great but when you really get that it is not about you being a good person, not about you pleasing people, not about you trying to "fit" anyone's mold other than the one God carved out for you, then rejection becomes a gift. You don't have to argue, You don't have to fight to be seen as a good person. You don't have to slither off feeling bad about yourself. You can simply say, as the angels often direct us to say, "Ok then! You have a right to be, but you're not for me!"

I got SO many rejections years ago when I sent my book off to publishers. I had barely begun my career as an angel communicator and the angels told me I wasn't ready to be published. i didn't listen! I sent the book off and got one rejection after the next. I realize all those rejections were a gift. I love my life now, and it would have been totally different and off-balance, had God catered to my impatience. Rejection truly is a gift.

I've had to reject people too. Right after my divorce years ago a guy I worked with professed his undying love for me. I gently told him I didn't feel the same and I was sure his heart was just opening to make way for the real love of his life. He yelled and screamed at me, told me I didn't know my own heart, and pitched an unholy fit. I stuck to my guns and sure enough his heart broke open and he was redirected to met the love of his life a few months later. Two decades have passed and they're still happily married.

So when you get rejected, remember, that it is just redirection. It never feels amazing but it can give you clarity, a reality check, and an awareness of the truth of a situation. I often pray, "God open the doors that are right for me and shut all those that aren't." It saves you from a lot of heartache. Likewise if you have to reject someone, do the best you can with kindness, remembering that you are simply being honest, and that God will redirect them towards greater love as well.

Saturday, June 23, 2012

The joy of connection

I connect with God's love all the time in my readings, but I am also just as easily connected with the world's pain. I must swim in both realities in my readings, as I sit with my clients. In a way I am a bridge between those two realities. Even in the depths of my clients' pains I see them striving for love, reaching for truth, searching so deeply to find their place in life. It inspires me. The human spirit is amazing.

Nonetheless, the dichotomy of these energies that flow through me is intense and primarily focused on others, so when I reach the weekends, I'm ready to reconnect with God's love for myself once again. I do so in many ways! Sometimes I simply enjoy domestic pleasure like working on the house, cooking, crafting, or having a good snuggle and snort fest with my dog... I snuggle and she snorts!

One of my favorite ways to feel connected with the universe is to get out in nature, turn my brain completely off and merge with the majesty of creation. As I hike in the woods, I calm my thoughts, and allow a symphony of feelings that might be describes as a mix of wonder, awe, gratitude, and joy to course through me. Suddenly I am not separate from the forest, but rather a part of it. I don't always reach these incredible spaces but when I do, absolute magic occurs.

This weekend I had one such hike. I was just lost in the wonder of being alive, breathing the fresh air, and witnessing the myriad forms around me when a butterfly began to circle around me. I was going down the trail but she was clearly showing me that I needed to turn around and follow her off the path. This wasn't even a thought. She flew, something within me turned and followed... much as a child or a puppy would do so without thought. She took me to a bush brimming with flowers, and just as many beautiful butterflies upon them. I stood there in complete awe, grinning from ear to ear, feeling my heart expand. The little orange butterflies noticed me, felt my energy and began to land on me. They landed on my shirt, looking up into my eyes. One stood on my hand as I took pictures of his friends. I didn't think it could get any more magical. And that is when the yellow swallowtail butterfly appeared.

She circled around my head and again without thought I followed her. She landed on a thistle flower but was having trouble stabilizing enough to get a drink as the wind blew back and forth. Without thought I held the flower between my two fingers and she climbed upon my hand, sitting there for five minute while enjoying the solid platform from which to sip her lunch. My brain was off but my heart was leaping out of my chest. In that instant we were not really so separate but rather love within two different forms assisting each other in a dance of God's love. I helped her, she delighted me. In that instant I felt what I feel in my best meditations or what I have felt when deeply in love. In that state of connection with anything, be it human, animal, a creation of ours, nature, whatever.... we are indeed IN love, within love, existing in the love of God.

So when you need to feel connected, find something you love doing or somewhere you love being. Allow gratitude and wonder to spill forth. For some it is with the company of good friends. For others the wonders of nature. For still other, like my dad, a brilliant scientific idea does the trick. For some it is being in the presence of amazing art, or beautiful music. Find your joy. Find the things that make you feel connected to God and spend time doing them. We need these spaces to remember the truth of who we are, not as a mental exercise, but as an experience that opens the heart!

Bless you!
Have a fantastic week and may whatever brings you joy be upon your path!

Saturday, June 16, 2012

No need to fix

The angels' message today reminds me very much of a brief interaction I had years ago with someone who advertised himself to be one of the world's foremost skeptics. I had never heard of this individual until a friend wrote to me very upset because this man had slandered her online, made fun or her name, and basically viscously attacked the character of a woman who has done nothing but dedicate her life in service to love. At the time I wasn't as calm as I am now. I got upset. I did the "human" thing. I wrote this man and suggested he do his research before attacking someone. I vouched for her work and her character. It was naivety on my part to think I could change one so set in his opinions. He attacked me next, luckily in private emails.

At that point the angels stepped in. "Ann, you want him to see your point, and that's understandable, but he's too hurt and doesn't care. Why don't you try to understand him?" That was a tall order! I didn't want to understand him. I wanted to make him stop his cruelty. But I DO listen to the angels because I know they always have a greater love in store.

So I wrote and told him I didn't want to argue anymore but I did want to understand his mission and why he felt the need to brutally attack psychics online. He told me some of it was personal but he was sick of people taking advantage of others. I wrote back and said I could easily agree with that and that I did a lot of damage control in my profession because there were indeed many scammers. He softened up. We dialogued back and forth. I gave him some ideas of what to look for in genuine psychics, and suggested that instead of attacking them without any experience, perhaps he could start a review system. Although I doubt he will change, we ended on a kind note, wishing each other well. It was really a miracle.

That was enough for me – to reach a kind ending – but the story wasn't over. My lights started flickering and I knew a spirit was trying to communicate with me. Ends up it was a family member of this skeptic - and one who had committed suicide. The skeptic felt the family member dabbled too much in the psychic realms and that it led to this young man's mental issues and ultimate demise. As a result he hated psychics. He was in pain. Most of us know the pain of loss. People handle it in vastly different ways. At long last I understood this angry soul and was able to ask a group to pray for him. We may never know if we made a difference and he will never know until he reaches the other side, that the very souls he attacked were the ones attempting to uplift his spirit. It doesn't matter. We stood in the truth of our love. It is up to him to choose his course.

When people act unkindly, remind yourself that its not so personal as it feels, and in fact they are really crying out, albeit very awkwardly at times for love. This doesn't mean you have to feel all warm and fuzzy about their behaviors. Vent out your feelings in private if you must. This doesn't mean you have to stick around and dance with their painful interactions. It doesn't mean you have to fix them. It simply means, that whether or not you choose to dance, you can still pray for them, pray for understanding, and ask that their soul be brought into the light of greater understanding. You can even pray to understand where they are coming from so you don't feel things so personally. This isn't always easy... but it is a path to greater peace.

Saturday, June 09, 2012

Being honest with life

I had a long talk with the angels recently. The articulated what I had not yet been able to say. They told me I was restructuring my entire existence, from the inside out. It is true. Passions I have long held within and the projects that result from them can no longer be ignored. The desire for balance in my life has out-weighed the old patterns of trying to pack too much in. I have finally had to admit to myself the desire for more time alone, after my work of connecting with my clients and all their loved ones so intensely. It has been a beautiful process, and I'm happier and more peaceful than I've been in ages.

It is sometimes hard to be deeply honest with ourselves, because then we have to be even more honest with those around us. It has always been a challenge for me to disappoint anyone. It has been my lifelong lesson to let that go of that discomfort, and to just be true to what God puts in my own heart. So when I was concerned lately about hurting friends feelings when I knew I needed more unplanned time, the angels told me rather strongly that I was being ridiculous. They reminded me that real friends would understand and celebrate me honoring my guidance. They were, of course, right. I am blessed by incredible people in my life.

It has not always been this way. In the past when the "need to please" was so strong within me, I attracted people that needed me to please them. Years ago, when I quit engineering a woman I thought was my best friend there came unglued and yelled at me. "How can you leave me? What kind of friend are you? " Never mind that I was following a God-given dictate to change my life and honor my calling. She made it all about her. And she mirrored well my feelings that I existed to satisfy everyone else. I tried to reassure her that we could still keep in touch and go to lunch, but that wasn't enough. She was used to having me there on a daily basis. The friendship ended on that sad note, but in lieu of pleasing one person I have been able to uplift thousands.

When a former boyfriend left in my thirties after I asked him to treat me more kindly, he did so yelling that I was "just too much work!" Today I look back and grin. Had I been who I am now I would have held the door open for him and and blessed his retreat, rather than beating myself up and trying to see what I could have done differently. Sometimes by our very nature we will find we are not a match for others, but if you are true to your own heart, then everything and everyone will shift into its right place in your life.

God's love is rising up within all of us saying, "Hello! I love you! I want you to experience what your soul wishes to be this lifetime. I want you to know my love. I want you to express my love in a way that gives you joy. I want you to look fear in the face and know love is greater. I want you to look at your angers and make necessary changes. I want you to give me your sadness in exchange for your joy." We must remain true to our internal compass, no matter what because that is where we find our joy and make the biggest contribution to the world. And when I say "biggest" I am not talking about the number of people we overtly serve, but rather the biggest ripple of love in the cosmic pond.

So in these changing times, pay attention to the desires within, confront the other energies that stand in their way, and know God lives and breathes within you, wanting to pour His love into the world - to you, through you, and from you.

Saturday, June 02, 2012

Mistakes are opportunities

I had no sooner finished channelling the angels' message when I noticed suddenly, that the water in my house was running. I jumped up from the computer to discover, I had left the hose in the pool with the water running, run errands, come home, and started the newsletter while all the pool was overflowing into the planter boxes! Mortified, I jumped up to turn it off. Instead of beating myself up however, as is the natural tendency, I just handled it. While emptying a little water out of the pool, I noticed that I had profusion of roses that needed cutting before they burnt up in the summer sun. I discovered that my gardenia plant had one perfect flower. I enjoyed the sound o the birds, and felt ok about draining the excess water, knowing that even though I'd pay a little more it would flow downstream into a grassy field where the birds and mice would enjoy a much needed drink. While this was a silly mistake, it still would have been a reason for self-deprecation in my past. Instead, having gone through years of angel training, I could see how God does indeed turn all things to good.

Like all of us, I've made many so-called mistakes this lifetime. I've broken bones, walls, and other various appliances over silly mistakes. I've had to clean burnt hard boiled eggs that exploded onto the ceiling because I left them in the pot unattended, and orange squash soup that exploded from the pot just prior to a Thanksgiving dinner! I've made choices which ended up being quite the learning experiences. However, each and every one of these so-called mistakes taught me. The broken bones forced me to slow down and enjoy more balance in my life. Broken stuff has showed me what really matters, and taught me home improvement skills. I've been forced to learn to trust in God's ability to provide. Lost relationships have ultimately helped me learn self-love. We goof up, or so we think, but in reality we simply learn and move forward into greater love if that is our choice.

In my mid twenties, I was married. Both my husband and I were making great salaries as an engineers. We decided to invest in some land in a partnership with my husband's parents and some others. His folks had done well over the years in land and I trusted them but something made me wonder about the others involved in the limited partnership. I didn't know I was psychic back then. I stuffed my concerns, feeling like I wasn't expert enough to comment, invested an entire years' salary in the deal and when some of the other partners defaulted, I lost every cent. That hurt! It was an opportunity to REALLY beat myself up, but I chose not to. I decided the only way to move forward with sanity was to look at it as if I had just invested in a college education in personal finance. I have since never ignored my intuition when it comes to money. That "mistake" saved me a lot of agony later in life.

One of my funniest "mistakes" occurred the very first time I spoke in public at one of the huge conferences with famous authors. I followed one of the most incredible woman I have ever met - Immaculee Ilibagiza. She lived through the Rwandan genocide and went back to forgive the man who killed her entire family. Her story of love and forgiveness was so profound, that I had a moment of thinking, "What on earth do I have to say after this saint has spoken?" But I got over myself and got on with it, knowing God would not have put me there if He didn't have something He wanted me to say. I got so involved in my talk in fact, that I lost track of time and had a moment of sheer brain blip. I looked at the clock and panic'd thinking I was running over! I quickly finished up and dismissed the room. My dear assistant, caught me and reminded me that I still had a half hour remaining!! We ran out and got everyone back in the room, had a great laugh and the angels came through with amazing grace helping this turn into a talk I was not planning on giving on how it is ok to make mistakes, to be human, and to love ourselves, no matter what. People may have forgotten everything else I said but that moment stood out! I made it ok for them to be human too!

So when you make a "mistake" by all means do what you can to fix it. If you hurt someone's feelings apologize. If you break something, get it fixed or get rid of it. If you make a wrong choice, stop beating yourself up and just chalk it up to experience. Choosing to love yourself through your "mistakes" allows you to glean the gifts that lie wrapped up within them. Don't lose the opportunities that even these crazy times present. You might just find your greatest gold buried within the seeming grit of life's so-called mistakes!