Saturday, February 25, 2012

Giving & Receiving

I have had many opportunities lately to both give and receive. A few weeks ago I was a the dollar store and this beautiful child behind me was unloading his stash of pencils and erasers on the checkout counter as he counted his change. Out of my mouth came, "Wow, look at all those pencils! You must be really smart and you must work very hard in school." This darling child says to me, "i DO! I do so much homework that I have to come every few weeks just to buy new pencils. , Without any thought, I told the clerk to charge me for his pencils. The little guy looked at me with a huge smile and a giant thank you. Out of my mouth came, "You're welcome, but don't thank me... thank God! He told me He is proud of you and knows you will do very well in life. All your needs will be taken care of because you are doing your part." The boy just grinned. He knew! I know who received more out that interchange! What a blessing to bless! A week later I was with fr iends and we passed a homeless man by a gas station. This time the calling wasn't mine, but my dear friend felt it in her heart. She brought him some food and he lit up with a huge smile, touched more by her kind heart even than the food itself. Again the blessings went shared by all.

Last week when I needed help it was there for me. I hadn't been to the dentist in awhile and knew it wouldn't be much fun, but as the dear kind and gentle assistant worked on cleaning my teeth I distinctly felt the angels say in my head, "Isn't she a sweetheart? Don't you feel God's gentle touch working through her?" Indeed I did. A few days later I had to pick up a new toilet at Costco. I had no clue how heavy they were and as I was wrangling one onto the cart a wonderful man stopped by and helped me. Another helped me load the car. Later that day, after running more errands, I was loading my car when the door shut, with the keys, purse, AND and everything I had inside the car! I just prayed and within seconds a young woman showed up, asking me if I needed help. I borrowed her cell phone and called a locksmith. While waiting I prayed and asked God what he wanted me to do with the time, just as a car pulled by with the license plate SING2HIM! So I sat quietly singing pray erful mantras until the very kind locksmith arrived. Never once was any of this a hassle, in spite of the fact that going too the dentist, buying toilets, and getting locked out of your car are not usually number one on the list of fun things to do! It was the interaction with all those kind and helpful people that made my day. That is what it is really about.

I made a point to tell the dental staff how much I loved them and their office. They are always so kind, cheerful, and welcoming, not to mention good at their work. I thanked the guys who helped me load my car profusely. I thanked the locksmith who showed up expecting me to be in a bad mood. These folks made my day and I helped uplift theirs. There was sweetness all around.

Life is made up of thousands of little interactions. We can forget at times that we are dealing with other human beings as we rush through the days, but when you take the time to genuinely receive someone's help and express gratitude you'll feel the blessing. Likewise when you give from the heart it is an honor to share God's love as well.

I pray often, "God let me see your love and be your love!" It sure makes for a happy reality!

Have a great week and if you are in Phoenix and need extra love stop by the Expo!

Saturday, February 18, 2012

Love equals freedom

As I watched the Grammys on television I was struck by the magnitude of love that was being sent out to Whitney Houston. I don't think a soul could ask for a greater outpouring of love as the thousands present, and the millions watching paid their respects. I know that on earth she suffered from incredible feelings of loneliness and pain despite the fame and fortune. While there were some on earth that were unloving and unkind towards her, I know now that in heaven she is seeing that there are millions who did love her and still do. More importantly I know she knows how much God loves her now. And that is all that matters in the end. God is within us. Can we love ourselves? That is sometimes the hardest journey on the earth.

True self love is not selfish. True self love serves the souls of all involved. I have, many times in my office, done readings for parents of children who had grown up and were engaged in unthinkably unloving behaviors. It is a parents' instinct to protect their children, and yet once they grow up you can't. It is a parents instinct to search their hearts and see what they could have done differently, but in many cases, there was nothing left to be done. "Give them back to God. You have done your duty. Speak your truth and leave it be," the angels often advise. That is no easy task. The parent must work hard to acknowledge the love within themselves, to forgive themselves for anything they think they could have done better, and to realize that their grown kids are separate souls with lessons of their own. According to the angels being a parent is the most unselfish and unconditionally loving job in the universe because once you agree to have the child, the rest is not under your conscious control. They are separate souls who chose you for the love and the lessons they need to learn, and they too must do their work here upon the earth. No matter what you did or didn't give them, they must grow up and take responsibility for their lives.

I've had some wonderful chats with my own folks over the years. Once my dad said to me that he wished he could have done better. In my earlier, spiritually immature years, I blamed my parents for my unhappiness. They had a lot of stress, worked hard, and had many disagreements. In my twenties I thought all my troubles came from being raised in a family where there was turmoil. Needless to say working with angels has changed all that! Being a neutral party amidst conflicting opinions growing up has helped me see, appreciate, and understand different perspectives which is an absolutely necessary part of my work. It makes me more compassionate and helps me see people more through the eyes of the angels. Being raised in conflict made me search out my own heart, learn to take responsibility for loving myself, and helped me come to conclude that in the long run the only being I was accountable to please was God. That means I must be accountable to my own heart.

Taking responsibility over the years for my own fears, upsets, frustrations, and sadness rather than blaming my parents, ex-boyfriends or others has set my soul free! My happiness is not tied to the behaviors of others. It is tied to whether or not I choose to react with love, towards myself first, and then towards the others involved. I was able to reassure my dad that he did exactly the best he could and I took full responsibility for my life, lessons, and happiness with no blame whatsoever. As a result we continue to grow closer over the years, not farther apart. The relationship continues to blossom.

Love is freeing. Taking responsibility for your own happiness is freeing. Taking responsibility for your mistakes is freeing. If you mess up and are less than loving, own it, apologize, and resolve to do better. If you are upset, rant and rave in private to work it out. If you're sad, bawl your eyes out. Let the emotions flow and let them go. They are not who you are. Love is who you are. If you know that then it doesn't matter who else does. God knows who you really are. The angels know who you really are. Some will see this on earth and some will not. I receive many loving emails and I also have received my share of unthinkably hateful ones. But I know who I am, and no matter what my human feelings from time to time, I know I will always return to love.

Commit this week to being kind and loving to yourself, and see if it isn't a lot easier then to be kind to others. This is the work we have come to do here upon the earth, and while it isn't always easy to take total responsibility for being loving towards ourselves and others, it is the source of true freedom.

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

No nonsense energy

This energy is indeed no-nonsense. I feel it and I love it. Like Roto-Router it ripped through me the past few months, drove me to face some of my deepest fears, and then carried me out the other side when I chose to trust God and just return to living passionately. I've become very no-nonsnse myself. The angels have been urging me to focus on my priorities, every day, without wavering.

A recent hike in northern, Arizona was a wonderful teaching on this type of focus. I got the call to take a walk in the woods that I love so much. It was a beautiful day in Phoenix, but to my surprise the forest was freezing cold and the trail was covered with ice and snow. Nonetheless it was bracing and beautiful. The air was crisp and clear and the forest was perfumed by the smell of the ponderosa pines that I love so much. I slowly started walking down the icy trail. My mind was giving me a litany of fearful criticisms about how crazy I was to be traipsing on such precarious ground, while all the while my heart was singing! I decided I was not going to fall, and I was going to enjoy my hike. I brought my focus intensely into the present moment. I took one, slow, conscious step at a time, appreciating the feel of the earth under my feet, and feeling every breath in the silent, peaceful woods. I cannot even describe the feeling! The forest was so still you could hear every breath, with the only other sounds coming the soft murmur of the creek as it flowed gently under the ice, and the occasional cry of the ravens. My body felt wonderful. My mind was blissfully still, and my balance didn't waver. I felt at One with it all.

Life is like that. If we are thinking about a gazillion things other than the task at hand, rushing around,or wishing things would be other than the exact way they are, we can easily get unfocused and trip ourselves up. If however, you focus everything you have on putting your best and most authentic self into the present moment, that is where you find your center and find yourself centered in God's love. In that space you make wonderful choices for your future goals, and receive wonderful guidance.

Your thoughts, words, deeds, time, money, and energy are resources with which you create your earthly life. You can choose to think, speak, and act in ways that support the person you want to be and the life you want to live. You can weed out - sometimes with help - bitterness, anger, unforgivenes, resentment, self deprecation, victimization and other thoughts that suck the life out of you. You can choose to avoid gossip, criticism, complaints, and other uses of language that do not uplift, enliven, and inspire. It is fine to share your so-called negative feelings but when you do so, have it be your intent to work them out rather than to inspire sympathy or create blame. One is a self loving use of your words, the other is a victimized energy. You can choose actions that align with your desired life or goals as well. Instead of spending an extra ten minutes with the snooze alarm you can sit up, breathe, and ask God to fill you heart and your day. That feels better than t he snooze honestly!!

You can prioritize your time so your own goals - the ones God puts in your heart - come first. This may mean spending less time in other areas of your life or on other people's priorities. You may risk others' displeasure or disappointment. You can choose to pay your bills first, give as God guides you rather than out of an egoic sense of duty, and save for what you want in the future, rather than frittering away your money on things that don't really help you create the life you want. If a Starbucks drink is part of the life you want, enjoy it by all means, but if you are just filling time while really wanting to save up for things you desire more, skip it! There are no hard and fast rules here. Only you can decide if how you spend your precious life force and resources is consistent with the life you want to life.

I recently watched a television special about a place called Maverick's beach in California where the waves range from 25 to 80 feet high. Can you imagine? The best surfers from all over the world travel there to test their mettle. If a surfer loses either his focus on the present or the goal of the shoreline, what was previously the ride of his life can turn deadly. Likewise the energy on earth is pretty intense. We have to point our whole selves in the directions we want or else we will feel scattered, confused, and upset. However, when you can achieve that level of focus, hang on and God will take you for the loving ride of your life!

Saturday, February 11, 2012

Choice in a bi-solar reality!

i was born on the cusp of the two most opposite signs on the zodiac - Pieces and Aries. Internally I am sensitive, psychic, emotional, and in love with my creature comforts. Externally I am aries - outgoing, forceful, analytical, and in love with adventure. It is quite a challenging reality to live with two such opposing forces at play within my mind and heart at all times!

Although I've often joked that God made me bi-solar, I know it embodies the lessons I've came to learn and all I was meant to teach. With every choice I make I am torn between head and heart, and with every choice I make, I must balance the two.

In the past I have overanalyzed decisions to the death! When I painted my house seven years ago, I bought so many sample colors that the walls looked like a patchwork quilt. In the end the color my heart wanted won and of course I've been happy with it ever since. On a weekend I can easily agonize between doing projects, staying at home and resting, or going hiking. And if I get into my head and start trying to figure out which is best, there is never any good answer. I have to drop into my heart and say, "Ok, Ann, what do you feel like?" And I have to give up figuring out how the day will play out and trust that decision in the moment. It always works out magically when I trust my heart.

It is good to have the facts. As I look forward to some home improvements, I AM using my brain to read reviews on the different materials and parts. I am using my calculator to measure. But in the end, given all the facts, the heart will decide.

I think where we humans get into trouble with our choices is when we slip into wishful thinking and are in denial. In my thirties, I was deciding whether or not I "should" get into a relationship. Someone had come into my life who was convinced he was the man for me. I had just gotten out of a relationship in which the man cheated with everything that moved, and my heart was in such pain I couldn't hear it screaming at me. So I used my HEAD to decided about dating this man in front of me. "He seems nice. He cares about me. He's sure pursuing me." All the while my heart was trying to get my attention , "NO! Don't do it! You don't feel like dating him. You don't feel like dating anyone now." My head, with all its prior programs said, "But you don't want to hurt his feelings. He seems nice. Give him a chance." I even asked the angels, "What do you think?" They answered honestly, "You'll be together three year s. You'll help him release all his childhood pain. You'll learn not to take things personally." My mind spoke, "Oh God wants me to learn." Looking back, it was so easy to see that I was using my mind to justify ignoring my heart. I was wishing for a relationship and in total denial of my own heart.

I did get in the relationship and it was three years of the hardest growth I've ever done. I did help this man release his childhood abuse and finally learned not to take on his anger. I really did learn, but it came at a cost. Years later, I went back to the angels, "Why did you tell me to date this guy?" "We didn't," they answered, "We just gave you the facts." Oh my goodness, I saw they were right. "You mean if I had listened to myself and just told him to leave me alone, I would have learned all the lessons in one easy step?" I asked. "Yes," they replied. "Why didn't you tell me!" I fumed. "You were determined to be with someone. You were ignoring your feelings. You were in wishful thinking that he'd turn out to be the one. You were in denial of your own instincts." That was so hard to hear but they were right on all counts.

From then on, I've listened to my heart impeccably! I rarely do anything that doesn't feel right to me in the moment. As a result I've been a lot happier.

I still work on avoiding the over-analysis. I still go to the angels for guidance when I am not clear. But one thing I have learned is that the more I get out of wishful thinking and denial, the more clearly I can hear my heart. Given the reality of situation at hand, right in this moment, what feels right, right now?

Try living that way. Try dealing with the reality of life in front of you when you make your choices. Try to avoid wishful thinking and create the best you can given what is in front of you now. Magically then, you are guided to better and better.