Saturday, September 29, 2012

Acceptance not agreement

I've had many opportunities to practice acceptance of those with whom I disagree. Years ago when a skeptic bashed my psychic friend in public, I was ready to go to battle until the angels got to me and suggested I speak in a more loving way. The conversation ended up amazing. The skeptic decided I was well meaning, even if deluded.

Another time, that was way more personal, my brother wrote to question my beliefs in Jesus and express his concerns. He had just finished reading my book, Bridging the Gap Between Christianity & Mysticism, and it didn't resonate with his own beliefs. He suggested I take Bible study courses to correct the errors in my own thinking. Being Aries, my first reaction was to get upset and want to make him see my point of view, but the angels again got to me. I rememembered something Jesus said to me years ago in a vision when I was whining about the fact that no one understood me. "They will understand your love," He said. I've lived my life by that one sentence every since. My brother and I came to an understanding when I asked him to simply accept the fact that I had a beautiful relationship with God whether or not he agreed how I went about it. I explained to him that I would never presume to tell him what to believe or how to relate t o God. I trusted that God put this in every person's heart who genuinely prayed. We came, not to agreement, but acceptance, and there is love there to this day.

Still another area where I have beautiful acceptance but not agreement is from my dad. He's a brilliant research physicist, and once he said to me, "I don't necessarily believe in what you do, but I don't disbelieve either. I just haven't had it proven." That was a perfectly true statement given the fact that his calling on this earth is to figure out how things work so science can give technology ways to improve our lives. My dad and I love each other very much and have fascinating discussions with or without agreement. He accepts me. I accept him. We value what each other is doing on the earth. It wasn't luck that got us here but rather a lot of deep and heartfelt conversations. I had to give up my childish need for agreement. Ever since the relationship has been beautiful. When you act like an adult, people react to you much more like an adult!

We all need each other. Everyone has a place on this earth, even the people you don't like. The skeptic for example, feels it is his purpose to help others avoid getting scammed. I am sure he does in some cases. And so his purpose is useful. Those who hate actually are great teachers of love... in a weird way. We see them and we want better. Those who are greedy remind us not to be so. Those who live lives of brilliant charitable works remind us that we all have something to give. And those of us who sit quietly at home typing articles about love have a reason to be too :) Those of you who live quiet lives simply being loving are the "undercover" angels on this earth. We are all needed.

Try it this week when you don't agree with someone. Try to remind yourself that your perspective is valid for you, as theirs is for them. Then, given the disagreement, given the acceptance, see if you still want to engage in that discussion or dance. I have no need to argue my points most of the time. Sometimes, it is fun and interesting to debate. I learn more! But most of the time I have other things to do that are calling me to greater joy.

Likewise, if you find yourself at odds with someone and there's no apparent solution, then is the time to learn and to pray. Dear God, I want to do X, and someone else wants to do Y and we cannot figure out a middle ground. If I want the person in front of me in traffic to move and he won't... well I have to accept both his slow speed and my desire to get going. And then I give it to God because I can't figure it out and in the meanwhile I practice patience and trust it is all in right order. As soon as I surrender to my own lessons, things move... litearlly!