Saturday, July 14, 2012

No more self criticism

The angels have worked with me for years to let go of the huge expectations I had for myself. I think we all grew up thinking we knew how life and we are "supposed to be." I was supposed to grow up, go to college, get married, have kids, retire, etc. I did everything I was supposed to but it didn't work! I wasn't happy. It ends up I had this crazy calling instead, which now makes me wildly happy. I had to let go of a lot of expectations of myself to be who I really am.

Throughout the years I've had to constantly release expectations. I can't possibly answer every email I get. I can't get everyone in who wants to see me as fast as I wish I could. I can't do everything socially that is offered to me because I need time in silence. Little by little I've released myself from expectations and have made peace with the fact that I'm human, live in a body, and have only 24 hrs a day. Believe it or not, those things weren't entirely easy to accept!

Every now and then I still forget those facts of life! This past weekend I had massive expectations for what I wanted to accomplish. I am reworking sections of my web site and thought I could finish an entire section, clean out some closets, cook meals, swim, etc. It ends up I got some pages tested and only one new page designed. That was it! Mind you its a beautiful page, nonetheless, I had a moment where I started to feel bummed out by how "little" I had achieved.

I caught that thought mid-stream and banished those sad thoughts and instead started to focus on what I did accomplish. In short time it dawned on me that my "one page" was really like redesigning an entire web site. It was not surprising it took all day, and actually getting it done in a day was quite an accomplishment. My new Sedona section will be gorgeous when I'm done. Realistically it might take months. Now its ok. Life truly is in the journey and I did enjoy the process.

So, while it is fine to have expectations, the trick to happiness is realizing that whether or not we live up to our own standards or goals, we can always bring love to the situation. We can always say, "Well I didn't do that very well but I tried." Or, "I didn't achieve xyz, but I did get this done." Or, "At least I learned something!"

Talking to dead people puts everything in perspective. At the end of our lives, our wrinkles don't matter. What we did or didn't accomplish in terms of achievements is less important than how much we loved. And we can love ourselves, others, God, our pets, our homes, our food, or any number of things. It is the vibration of love that matters, not so much the object of it, because in truth, the object of all love is God, present in creation.

So this week, try to go easy on yourselves. Catch yourself in criticism and give yourself a compliment instead. Stretch and form new and kinder habits. It certainly is a kinder and happier reality!

And if you really want to dive into self-love, come to my class in September :) The world would be such a kind place if we could truly start by being kind to ourselves.

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