Saturday, February 18, 2012

Love equals freedom

As I watched the Grammys on television I was struck by the magnitude of love that was being sent out to Whitney Houston. I don't think a soul could ask for a greater outpouring of love as the thousands present, and the millions watching paid their respects. I know that on earth she suffered from incredible feelings of loneliness and pain despite the fame and fortune. While there were some on earth that were unloving and unkind towards her, I know now that in heaven she is seeing that there are millions who did love her and still do. More importantly I know she knows how much God loves her now. And that is all that matters in the end. God is within us. Can we love ourselves? That is sometimes the hardest journey on the earth.

True self love is not selfish. True self love serves the souls of all involved. I have, many times in my office, done readings for parents of children who had grown up and were engaged in unthinkably unloving behaviors. It is a parents' instinct to protect their children, and yet once they grow up you can't. It is a parents instinct to search their hearts and see what they could have done differently, but in many cases, there was nothing left to be done. "Give them back to God. You have done your duty. Speak your truth and leave it be," the angels often advise. That is no easy task. The parent must work hard to acknowledge the love within themselves, to forgive themselves for anything they think they could have done better, and to realize that their grown kids are separate souls with lessons of their own. According to the angels being a parent is the most unselfish and unconditionally loving job in the universe because once you agree to have the child, the rest is not under your conscious control. They are separate souls who chose you for the love and the lessons they need to learn, and they too must do their work here upon the earth. No matter what you did or didn't give them, they must grow up and take responsibility for their lives.

I've had some wonderful chats with my own folks over the years. Once my dad said to me that he wished he could have done better. In my earlier, spiritually immature years, I blamed my parents for my unhappiness. They had a lot of stress, worked hard, and had many disagreements. In my twenties I thought all my troubles came from being raised in a family where there was turmoil. Needless to say working with angels has changed all that! Being a neutral party amidst conflicting opinions growing up has helped me see, appreciate, and understand different perspectives which is an absolutely necessary part of my work. It makes me more compassionate and helps me see people more through the eyes of the angels. Being raised in conflict made me search out my own heart, learn to take responsibility for loving myself, and helped me come to conclude that in the long run the only being I was accountable to please was God. That means I must be accountable to my own heart.

Taking responsibility over the years for my own fears, upsets, frustrations, and sadness rather than blaming my parents, ex-boyfriends or others has set my soul free! My happiness is not tied to the behaviors of others. It is tied to whether or not I choose to react with love, towards myself first, and then towards the others involved. I was able to reassure my dad that he did exactly the best he could and I took full responsibility for my life, lessons, and happiness with no blame whatsoever. As a result we continue to grow closer over the years, not farther apart. The relationship continues to blossom.

Love is freeing. Taking responsibility for your own happiness is freeing. Taking responsibility for your mistakes is freeing. If you mess up and are less than loving, own it, apologize, and resolve to do better. If you are upset, rant and rave in private to work it out. If you're sad, bawl your eyes out. Let the emotions flow and let them go. They are not who you are. Love is who you are. If you know that then it doesn't matter who else does. God knows who you really are. The angels know who you really are. Some will see this on earth and some will not. I receive many loving emails and I also have received my share of unthinkably hateful ones. But I know who I am, and no matter what my human feelings from time to time, I know I will always return to love.

Commit this week to being kind and loving to yourself, and see if it isn't a lot easier then to be kind to others. This is the work we have come to do here upon the earth, and while it isn't always easy to take total responsibility for being loving towards ourselves and others, it is the source of true freedom.