Saturday, July 30, 2011

Once, many years ago when I was bemoaning the fact that I didn't have enough time to do everything I wanted that week, my angels stopped me in my tracks and said, "Ann, what is your rush?! You have eternity! You can do what you want in heaven or you can come back to earth and do whatever it is you think you missed. But in reality, why wait to be happy! Be happy now!" They were right. I used to be happy only when I got something crossed off the to-do list. I had to learn to enjoy the journey.

Now I try to make all my work fun. Even if I'm paying bills I use pens I like, pretty stamps, and put on good music. Some of you like to pay online. Some of you, like me, like the old fashioned way of writing checks. I hold each one to my heart, thank God for the ability to pay, and affirm the refill that is about to come. I learned to enjoy cleaning house while I was on crutches years ago. I had to go so slow it nearly drove me crazy until I read a book about zen and decided to think of it as loving my house. Now I can "love my house" at much higher speeds, but it still feels like love! If I don't love doing something I find a way to either get rid of the task, make it fun, or wait till I can pay someone else who likes doing it better than me. Because my job deals with death every day, it reminds me to make the most of life. Even when my dog was dying last year and taking every living ounce of my life energy and spare time with his care, I fo cused on the incredible love between us. That made his care not only bearable, but an incredible journey of the most intense love I have ever felt.

This point was really hammered home again a few weeks ago when I heard a dear friend had passed away very suddenly. He wasn't someone I saw often, only once a month if that at spiritual gatherings I attend, and yet Daniel Stief touched the hearts of many with his big heart, his incorrigible sense of humor, and above all things, his ability to channel Elvis. We all loved him so much. So when I discovered he had passed I tuned in and saw him SO happy in heaven and one of the things that I felt that was so beautiful was how much the so-called small things that he did meant in the course of his life. After joking around once with me, he went and designed a web site called www.sedonafunradio.com to offer inspiring videos for the rest of us every week. It was a labor of love and joy for him and it touched all the hearts of those who knew him. He uplifted those of us who spend our lives uplifting others. I know that at times on earth he was a little lonely but as I tuned into him in heaven I felt the ultimate joy and celebration he felt upon his return home. I couldn't even grieve. I could only smile and be happy for him. He graduated. He was basking in incredible love. And he was seeing the value of his life. That, more than anything, touched me so deeply.

You may never know what has real spiritual value in your life. Sometimes the smallest things that we do, or the things we do for fun out of the goodness of our hearts, or the kind little comments, are those things that stand out the most at the end of our lives. I talk to dead people and they have helped me see the incredible value in these seemingly insignificant moments. So try not to judge yourself based on how much you achieve, how much you have in the bank, whether or not you have a relationship... those things are all fun, but what matters most in the end isn't the scale of our lives or our achievements but the authenticity with which we live.

Daniel lived with a generous heart and an authentic sense of humor and to me, it seems that his life was precious, priceless, and a journey of immeasurable achievement. I celebrate his homecoming and feel the incredible joy that he feels knowing his lifetime was all about love.

Saturday, July 23, 2011

Learning to receive

I was raised by a family of givers. In fact it became a joke in our family that my mom and my Polish grandma would have arguments over who would pay for lunch - as in, "I will!" "No! Let me!" "I insist!" "Carol!!!" "Mom!!!" These continued sometimes to the point where they were stuffing bills in each other's purses! I now jokingly call arguments over who will give more "Polish Bargaining." I remember when I used to teach at a little center in town. I would ask the owner what her rate was and always she offered something I considered too low. I'd offer more. She would counter with something in between and say, "That's my final offer!" And we would laugh over how we both wanted to be more generous. Many of you remember Judith from the Center for Expanding Consciousness - she is now the gracious owner of the White Springs Bed & Breakfast in Florida, and I'm sure, just as generous hearted as she always has been!

So when I began to learn to receive I had to bite my tongue and learn to say, "Thank you" when someone complimented me rather than saying, "REALLY?" or worse yet debating the verity of their statement. If someone said my eyes were pretty, I'd be more likely to say, "Oh gosh, they're so bloodshot!" or, "Oh yours are too!" It was just an old habit to argue away a compliment or to feel I had to immediately "pay it back." A friend once said to me, "Could you just say thank you?" That hit home. Now when someone pays me a compliment, although old habits die hard, I try to breathe in the love and simply say, "Thank you." I give compliments so freely and easily, it strikes me as crazy that it took so long to learn to receive them.

Likewise I have had to learn along the way that receiving graciously from others when I am in need allows me to give more. It truly does keep the flow going. Two stories really stand out. When I broke my foot in 2004 a dear client offered to make me dinner. Knowing how much I had struggled with cooking on crutches, I finally said, "Yes thank you!" I will remember her roast chicken and potatoes till the day I die. That was one of the most nurturing meal I have ever eaten! And this dear woman made so much that I ate well for days. By receiving I was able to conserve energy and continue serving my clients in the midst of an injury. I was so grateful for this act of kindness.

Likewise, when I was going to teach a class many years ago, I needed a $300 room deposit. Normally that wouldn't have been a problem but it was after the holidays, and I had had some surprise bills. As usual I trusted the money would come. Well, lo and behold, another dear person on this list, out of the blue, said God had told him to send me $333. I was nearly bowled over to say the least and grateful to tears. The money paid for the room deposit and was Doreen Virtues number that says, "The masters are with you." Furthermore the seminar was being held on 3-3. This gentleman didn't even know I was planning a seminar at the time. His gift enabled me to serve others in a much larger way and more importantly reinforced how much heaven really loved and supported me in supporting others.

So many times I have been on the giving side of life, helping friends, doing web site for free when I used to have the time, donating money quietly when needed, cooking for others. I LOVE to give. But I have learned over time, as the angels say, that receiving is also a gift to the giver and an act that keeps the flow of God's love spilling effortlessly from one human being to another. You can always pay it forward when you have the ability, but this week declare willingness to receive and then practice doing so.

When a homeless man, with only a tattered bicycle, held the door for me at Circle K and gave me a wonderful compliment, I stopped, looked deeply into his eyes, and said, "Thank you. That makes me feel so good." I acknowledged him as if he were the richest man in the universe. I believe in that moment, he felt he was. He was rich with kindness and he had shared that wealth with me. In receiving, truly, we give as well.

Saturday, July 16, 2011

Making room

I have been clearing and cleaning out my house all year. Layer by layer I'm weeding through my entire life's accumulations. These past few weeks the urge hit me to weed out my thousands and thousands of photographs. I had the notion I could get it done in a day. Not quite! After spending most of my fourth of July weekend doing so, I still have more to go. And yet I am having fun clearing out photos that no longer make me happy, photos that are just plain ugly, photos of places I've photographed so many times, I don't need more photos... you name it. I'm freeing up space on the hard drive, and making room for my creative hobby once again.

I spent another weekend repairing all the clothes and other items I piled in the spare room that needed mending. Again it was tedious beyond words but I felt SO good when it was finally done.

These things that we want to do, but put off because they are boring, tedious, or just not as much fun really sap our energy. And we CAN make them fun. We can put on good music, wait for a day when the weather is too hot to do anything else, get on the phone with a family member or friend if our hands our busy but our minds are free. There are so many ways we can entice ourselves to do those things we put off. I'm still in that mode, slowly but surely doing what I can afford now and dreaming of more later. It feels good. With every old photo I delete, I free up my heart. With every object I donate or mend, I feel the energy lighten up.

Sometimes in the process of manifesting, we do have to make room in our energy, our hearts, and our lives before more can come in. Have fun, and as Snow White once said, "Whistle While you Work!"... enjoy the journey!

Saturday, July 09, 2011

You are always loved

I didn't quite know why the angels were channeling this message this week until I got to the end. I've not been angry at all. I've been blissful! But when they got to the financial part, I had a laugh. I had an air conditioning repair, roof repairs, necessary lawn work, and a few other large expenses come up that I hadn't anticipated... all in one week. Needless to say more money went out than in! But I didn't even blink. I didn't get worried. I didn't wonder where it was going to come from. I went on with my breakfast on the patio, my exercise in the morning, and peacefully going about my days. In fact, if anything I am getting more done than usual. I know God always handles my life. Its not worth getting all uptight and ruining my good mood. These life circumstances come and go. Why ruin a good mood?

Likewise, I had a nice relaxing fourth of July and wanted to see the fireworks, but wasn't sure I wanted to go on my own. When the urge hit, late as usual, however I piled myself in the car, drove downtown and had a blast! I asked the weather spirits to be nice to me on the way home, as the storm was coming, and got cut off by a car with 2INSUREU on the license plate! I laughed knowing all would be well. The storm hit as I was only a few miles from home and I drove home in tropical storm force winds on flooded roads with lightning crashing all over the place, knowing I'd be perfectly safe.

The next day I was going out to meet some friends and had a sudden urge to pray for my home and car to be protected, so of course I did. That was the night the massive dust storm hit Phoenix - see the video below! And sure enough, my house, car, dog, and myself were fine.

If you really learn to trust in God and to stop worrying and to choose to believe you ARE loved by the one that created you, it changes everything. You'll hear your guidance and know what actions to take so much more easily. I love being at a place in my life where finally I'm not letting myself feel like life is attacking me. Life is just being life. We can't change other people. We can't always change our circumstances or finances immediately, and yet look how many years you've existed just fine on this planet... and I know you're doing better every day.

Saturday, July 02, 2011

True freedom

The angel message this week brings back memories. I once felt trapped in a life I didn't love. I'd done everything "right" that was supposed to make me happy. I went to school, got an engineering degree, got married, got a great job, ... and felt empty. I wasn't free back then, even though I had everything the world thinks would make you free... love, money, prestige, etc. I didn't have a clue who I really was.

Over the years and after a lot of personal growth, I made changes to be who I really was. Lovingly I separated from my husband years ago when we figured out we had totally different goals for life. With great excitement and fear, I started doing angel readings. I had less money, no relationship, and I felt free-er than I had my entire lifetime. This wasn't a "Freedom From" anything but rather a "Freedom To" be me.

The freedom to be who you are isn't taken away by anyone. I have had international skeptics lambast me and have returned love. I have had friends get angry and have chosen love. I have had people write in with the most hateful emails and have looked away and turned the other cheek. And each time I choose love, I feel more free, more like me, and even happier than before. It isn't always easy to use our free will to choose to be loving. I had to learn to be loving to myself first - to feel my upsets and release them, but then to choose to express love in the world. This freedom - the freedom to love God, self, and others - is one that always makes us feel bigger, better. This freedom grants us true independence from the tugs and pulls of the world. You can be in the world but not of it. We are all that free!