Saturday, January 29, 2011

Washing my soul clean

t is a Monday as I sit here and channel Saturday's newsletter. The topic of cleaning and clearing the house was the last thing on my mind. Understandably, my aging furry friend gets my fullest attention right now. However, I sat and thought about the angel message, and realized that it is true. I feel more centered, settled, and able to focus when my home reflects the peace and order I have inside as well. When I create balance and self care in my life I have a desire to be more orderly. When I am more orderly, it motivates me to create more balance and self care.

During the holidays I had the time to sit still for awhile and it was a joy to look around my home and see the reflection of years of personal growth. My home is colorful, eclectic, and contains things that have stories or meaning attached. I continually release stuff when done with it, passing it on to friends or charities. It feels like I not only live in the flow of grace at times, but also in the flow of stuff! People give me wonderful things and in return I share what I have as well.

As I looked around my home, doing the angel exercise for just a few minutes, I saw one thing I didn't really care for, and yet couldn't change right now. It was a tough adjustment for me to cover my entire bedroom carpet in pee pee pads and towels and to move into the guest room so my aging dog could be comfortable and sleep well without the parade of spirits that always accompanies me, and without me worrying about the carpet. I was looking at all the towels when one of the angels said, "Look at this patchwork floor of softness, absorbency, and love. What does that say about you?" I want to provide soft spaces for other souls. I want to help them find that God's love within them will absorb their pain. I love that much. I saw myself in those pee pee pads and towels in a whole new light of self appreciation.

As you look around your home and see things you like, cherish how that reflects all that is good inside of you. And when you see things you don't like, find something to love about what that reflects anyway. Only when we truly love and appreciate our past can we release it. Only when we truly embrace and love our present can we create better.

And so I hug, hold, nourish, and nurture my dear older dog for the duration of his life on earth. I wash the towels and each time, in so doing, I remind myself that I have washed my soul clean as well.

Saturday, January 22, 2011

Choosing new perpsectives

The angel message is very personal again for me this week. My fluffy elder over here is one tough character! Some days he is sweet as sugar. Other days he is the most tantrum throwing cantankerous being I've ever cared for. And so no matter what occurs, I am working diligently on choosing a peaceful and loving perspective. I don't always succeed, but I'm getting pretty good at it.

This dog is be my personal trainer for choosing peace. The minute I sit down to eat he wakes up and starts fussing. The minute I sneak in the shower or lay down for the night or try to sit in front of the television at night, he starts up again. It is as if he is saying, "Ok, can you choose peace now?" So I stop, breathe, focus on my love for him and go in and reassure him that I'm still here even if I'm taking a little time for me. He settles down, smiles, and naps. Mission accomplished! He is my personal trainer for not taking on other's chaotic emotions. He can pitch a fit that goes on for hours until I come do what he wants. The other night the angels told me quite clearly to let him be by himself while he threw a tantrum, and to detach from his energy. It wasn't easy but as I finally managed not to feel horrible for letting him go on like that, he settled down. "God grant me serenity, as I learn my lessons," is a frequent prayer!

Life truly is all about the perspective we bring to it. I could feel totally sorry for myself. I could ignore my guidance and put my dog down. I could fly off the handle every time he fusses, or I could be a total martyr. Or I can choose to look at my lessons, love my dog, and strive for a balance between his care and mine. The last one seems to be the best option. It is forcing me to live in the moment, surrender to what "is", choose love over and over, pay very special attention to my own needs and trust God's timing on the rest. It has forced me to give up any feelings of victimization and own my choices. I do laundry at 3am because I choose to embrace his process and mine. I do not "have to" do this. God would love me no matter what. I choose it. I keep telling him when he gets to heaven there will be steak with cheese on it, ice cream with cherries, and all the kleenex he can eat! He smiles :)

So this week, see if you can get out of your habitual way of looking at things and choose a happier way of looking at things. When someone cuts you off in traffic instead of thinking, "You jerk!" see if you can choose some other perspective. Bless them. They need it. When you look at your bank account and don't feel there is as much as you'd like, look around and give thanks for what you do have. When you look at someone in your life who is difficult, try to see they are only wounded and focus on the of their being, no matter how buried it might seem.

While choosing new perspectives takes work, it sure makes life a happier and more blessed experience, even when times are challenging.

Saturday, January 08, 2011

God loves us... really

I needed the angels' message today. Sometimes in the throes of aging doggie care I forget to focus on the fact that I am loved. As I write this I'm on the second load of wash this morning. My dear dog is outside because it is beautiful, he loves the outdoors, and I can't let him in till I finish the wash. And yet he is having fits because he wants to be inside. He has always been a demanding guy but lately his tantrums have been off the charts. I have never seen a being resist aging so strongly! He wants to be here still. Every time I ask him if he wants me to call the vet he looks away or worse yet glares at me or starts to howl his discontent! And yet, he cannot walk easily and whines and pitches unholy tantrums when he can't get where he wants fast enough. It is quite something.

As this newsletter is interrupted , I feel the rainbow of human emotions running through me. I feel irritation, helplessness, because no matter how much I love him he will is not satisfied with this phase of life, feelings of panic as to how I'll ever get anything accomplished,a desire for a more peaceful life for me, and under it all incredible love for this beautiful being that has been my companion for so many years. You name it, I feel it! I know many of you have been there - so overloaded with demands on you from someone you care about, be it child or elder, that you can't even sort out a dominant feeling... except, thank God, love.

So I did as the angels suggested. As my dog whined outside, I sat for a moment, breathed and asked to feel God's love for me. I was flooded in that moment with warm, tenderness, and a feeling of being held by the angels. It was exquisite. And in this space, I remember who I am and what I am made of again. I focused on the presence of God within my heart and focused all my love on my dog. Since God loves me so much, he wants to help me, and I asked him to please comfort me and my dog and help us find peace. I felt immense peace in my heart, knowing I was not handling this all alone. Just as suddenly there was quiet outside and I snuck to the window to see my big guy resting in the sunshine once again. Tantrum over.

Many of us do not quite understand God's love because we equate it to human love. We think we have to earn it, be good, do the right things, etc. We think if we are rewarded with what we want God loves us, and if we don't have it, either we haven't been good enough or God doesn't love us. That is all a bunch of nonsense! In truth we are loved beyond our capacity to comprehend - unconditionally, deeply, and eternally.

Loving myself unconditionally has been a huge lesson as of late. I have no been living up to my standards at all times by any means. I have lost it and yelled at the dog, then cried my eyes out. I've been so emotionally tired some nights after helping him calm down that I got whiny and wasn't sure I could get up the next morning. After one particularly hard night last weekend, Archangel Michael came in and tenderly suggested, "It wouldn't hurt to ask for help." I thought I had been praying for help but I realize I had been praying while focusing on the negative reality, rather than praying while focusing on the peace I wanted! My mouth was saying what I wanted but my entire energy field was praying for exactly what I didn't want! He sure sets me straight! It made a huge difference :)!

When things get hard the angels have me sit still and focus on believing and feeling how much God loves me. Suddenly I am resting in the arms of a mother and father who only want my good, a lover who is tender, sweet, and caring, a soft breeze that caresses my skin on a spring day, and a gentle rain in the midst of a hot summer. I am resting in the arms of none less than the One who made us and breathes life into us all. And for just a second or however long I can hold that feeling, I want the whole world to know this love. It can change your life in an instant. It can shift your reality very quickly even if the outer circumstances do not yet change. It can heal your heart, calm your body, and remind you of the deepest truth of your reality. And if you do it often enough, it starts to become the loving and beautiful reality in which you live. Other beings will do what they need to do. The world will continue to create its hardships and lessons. And yet, you can be the peace amidst the chaos, and with practice, it becomes pretty amazing. We may never be "perfect" at it, but we are loved unconditionally just the same!

God loves us... really

I needed the angels' message today. Sometimes in the throes of aging doggie care I forget to focus on the fact that I am loved. As I write this I'm on the second load of wash this morning. My dear dog is outside because it is beautiful, he loves the outdoors, and I can't let him in till I finish the wash. And yet he is having fits because he wants to be inside. He has always been a demanding guy but lately his tantrums have been off the charts. I have never seen a being resist aging so strongly! He wants to be here still. Every time I ask him if he wants me to call the vet he looks away or worse yet glares at me or starts to howl his discontent! And yet, he cannot walk easily and whines and pitches unholy tantrums when he can't get where he wants fast enough. It is quite something.

As this newsletter is interrupted , I feel the rainbow of human emotions running through me. I feel irritation, helplessness, because no matter how much I love him he will is not satisfied with this phase of life, feelings of panic as to how I'll ever get anything accomplished,a desire for a more peaceful life for me, and under it all incredible love for this beautiful being that has been my companion for so many years. You name it, I feel it! I know many of you have been there - so overloaded with demands on you from someone you care about, be it child or elder, that you can't even sort out a dominant feeling... except, thank God, love.

So I did as the angels suggested. As my dog whined outside, I sat for a moment, breathed and asked to feel God's love for me. I was flooded in that moment with warm, tenderness, and a feeling of being held by the angels. It was exquisite. And in this space, I remember who I am and what I am made of again. I focused on the presence of God within my heart and focused all my love on my dog. Since God loves me so much, he wants to help me, and I asked him to please comfort me and my dog and help us find peace. I felt immense peace in my heart, knowing I was not handling this all alone. Just as suddenly there was quiet outside and I snuck to the window to see my big guy resting in the sunshine once again. Tantrum over.

Many of us do not quite understand God's love because we equate it to human love. We think we have to earn it, be good, do the right things, etc. We think if we are rewarded with what we want God loves us, and if we don't have it, either we haven't been good enough or God doesn't love us. That is all a bunch of nonsense! In truth we are loved beyond our capacity to comprehend - unconditionally, deeply, and eternally.

Loving myself unconditionally has been a huge lesson as of late. I have no been living up to my standards at all times by any means. I have lost it and yelled at the dog, then cried my eyes out. I've been so emotionally tired some nights after helping him calm down that I got whiny and wasn't sure I could get up the next morning. After one particularly hard night last weekend, Archangel Michael came in and tenderly suggested, "It wouldn't hurt to ask for help." I thought I had been praying for help but I realize I had been praying while focusing on the negative reality, rather than praying while focusing on the peace I wanted! My mouth was saying what I wanted but my entire energy field was praying for exactly what I didn't want! He sure sets me straight! It made a huge difference :)!

When things get hard the angels have me sit still and focus on believing and feeling how much God loves me. Suddenly I am resting in the arms of a mother and father who only want my good, a lover who is tender, sweet, and caring, a soft breeze that caresses my skin on a spring day, and a gentle rain in the midst of a hot summer. I am resting in the arms of none less than the One who made us and breathes life into us all. And for just a second or however long I can hold that feeling, I want the whole world to know this love. It can change your life in an instant. It can shift your reality very quickly even if the outer circumstances do not yet change. It can heal your heart, calm your body, and remind you of the deepest truth of your reality. And if you do it often enough, it starts to become the loving and beautiful reality in which you live. Other beings will do what they need to do. The world will continue to create its hardships and lessons. And yet, you can be the peace amidst the chaos, and with practice, it becomes pretty amazing. We may never be "perfect" at it, but we are loved unconditionally just the same!

Saturday, January 01, 2011

Miracles are possible

I was shown the power of an unimagined possibility very powerfully a few days ago. Right after the new year, my dear husky wolf who is nearing his transition had a terrible day. He was yowling in pain rather than yowling with tantrums, losing his food, and nearly crazed trying to walk around even though he kept falling. The angels have told me forever that he wants to leave on his own, in his own time, in his sleep. I have been trying to honor that and give him grace and dignity but watching him suffer like this was almost too much. I prayed like crazy for God to make the right thing happen, and in the most loving way, whatever that was. I gave up all expectations as to what would occur. I called a vet the next day to see if she could come to my home, even though that was not what either of us wanted in the end. Thank God, the vet was too busy. It was an answer to my prayers.

Out of love I decided to make my big furry guy scrambled eggs in case it was his last day on earth. He loves them! And loudly I heard the angels in my head saying, "Do not mix them with dog food this time. Just give him the eggs." I listened to their instructions, cooked him the eggs, and was blown away by the unexpected miracle that ensued. Apparently all his pain the previous day was due to the fact that he is no longer digesting dog food. With such an easy food as eggs in his tummy he could walk, rest, and be at peace again! Instead of having to put him down I am granted a few more days... or weeks with him - but at least I can let his spirit decide when to go. In fact he even had one really healthy tantrum the next day when I didn't get to him fast enough! Although those are not easy on me, his tantrums are clearly the sign of a healthy spirit! He fell asleep after a very peaceful day with his beautiful head leaning against my hand as I allowed loving energy t o flow through us. My fridge is now stocked with blessed, wonderful eggs which will allow the rest of his time on earth to be much more comfortable and kind to him.

God keeps showing me over and over in my life that just when I don't know what to do, the divine presence does. Just when you feel backed against a wall without a good decision in sight, God has one. When you are at your wits end, God says, "Good! Get out of your mind, yes, and get into your heart. I'll handle the rest." So when you find yourself faced with some challenge you don't know how to solve, do your part - be at peace, sit, breathe, receive, and give it to God. The morning I thought I was going to have to put my dog down, my first priority was to get up early, to meditate, and to pray for God to fill every aspect of me, my dogs, my life, and my home with His grace. In this space of peace I was able to hear my guidance. I am beyond grateful.

Never feel you are without miraculous possibility in your life. I have seen clients' lives change on a dime, and I have witnessed many miracles. Why not believe in one for yourself?

Heaven in '11

This year I chose to spend New Year's Eve quietly in prayer and contemplation. I have done that many years and truly enjoy it when it feels right. I took the time to look back over 2010, to thank God for the many gifts it brought me, and to search my heart to see what kind of reality I wish to create for myself in 2011.

Many of you following this newsletter know that 2010 was challenging for me! It would have been easy to focus on the household challenges, the dog challenges, the financial challenges, and my own intense health challenges. From a human perspective I had every right to wallow in self pity. However, that never gets anyone anywhere! So instead I gave thanks for the fact that almost all my appliances have been repaired and are like new! The roof is fixed, the car works, my body is recuperating, my doggie care is still intense but it has taught me incredible amounts of surrender and even deeper levels of love, and the financial challenges just bring more faith and more manifestation. Best of all my relationship with God has deepened in ways I can't even articulate this year, I feel Divine Love pouring through my hands when needed for various clients, or through my heart when I pray, my relationships have become even deeper and more 'real' than before, and I've learned to stop 'fix ing' people and just let them 'be' who they are. Such gifts!

So no matter what went on in 2010, there are always gifts to be found. And when we find the gifts, we get the lessons, we feel better, we enter into a higher vibrational state and from this state, more good comes into our lives.

I know life will still continue to present challenges. That may never change. However the way we handle them and relate to them does change. And suddenly what was once hard is no big deal. What was once devastating is simply something to be dealt with. What was once difficult to say, now escapes our lips with ease and grace. We get up, pick up, learn and move on more quickly. And in that reality, the gratitude for life itself causes more and more good to come into our lives. We always have a choice in how we focus on life and I am choosing to focus on Heaven in '11!!