Saturday, August 27, 2011

Don't should

We've all heard it. "Don't should on me!" And yet we "should" on ourselves all the time!! Just a few weeks ago I started a creative project that I loved but I got sucked into the need to "get it done" because I had a little "should" running that said, "Once you start on something you need to finish it asap." The joy slowly started to get sucked out of this project that I loved because it had become just one more item on the "to do" list rather than something I was doing for joy. I stopped, switched gears, and will be working on it leisurely now as it gives me pleasure.

So many "shoulds" have colored my life. I fought with my hair my entire life only to discover it is easier to allow it to dry naturally, using a blowdryer only in the winter when it is cold out! I was 'nice' to everyone instead of being truthful in my past. I said yes when I meant "no" because I didn't' want to offend anyone. I offended my soul instead! I went to college and became an electrical engineer because I knew I "should" use my good brain in some sort of brainy way. I totally ignored my love of writing and the creative arts. Those were "hobbies." I knew I had to get a "serious" career. I did. And I didn't love it at all. One more "should" went out the window as I switched to be an angel communicator.

Even when I got honest about my new career, I was riddled with "shoulds." I dressed the way I thought I "should" in such a profession. The long goddess gowns that Doreen Virtue wears look beautiful on her but absolutely ridiculous on me! I'm short and they don't match MY personality. I like sparkles. Now I dress for my inner fairie more often. For years, I acted the way I thought a spiritual instructor "should" act. Tasteful. Tame. I censored my speaking. The truth is I'm not all that! I'm rambunctious, feisty, and have a corny sense of humor in addition to the huge compassion I feel for humanity. The more I became myself, the more enjoyable my classes have been for me and my students. Over the years I have had to unlearn my shoulds and have learned to just be me. It feels so much better. And the more I am me, the more comfortable I am letting others be who they are as well, with no need to fix or change and only a desire to love .

One of my favorite series on TV is the "Food Network Star" series. I like it for two reasons. Obviously it is about food and I love food. But even more than that, the stars are stretched beyond their comfort zone as they are asked to bring their authentic selves to the forefront and to be real in front of the camera. This is not one of those "reality" shows where people parade around acting like spoiled divas, but rather a series in which people are asked to share their hearts, their stories, and their own unique point of view! I love it! Those are life skills we all need to hang on to. Who you are is who God designed you to be and there is nothing wrong with that. You are part of the big puzzle of life and we will all fit life when we start being ourselves and trying to fit others' notions of who we "should" be. Look at the word, "GURU". A real Guru's wisdom is simply telling you, "GEE YOU ARE YOU! G.U.R.U.!" How funny is that :)!

Next time you feel compelled to be anything other than who you really are in the moment, think again. You are loving. You are kind. And you can lovingly and kindly be honest with the world about who you want to be. Say what is true for you, kindly. Dress in ways that make you feel happy and good. Eat what your body is craving rather than what the books say you should. Do the things that give you joy. Life is indeed too short to try to be something other than who we are.