Saturday, February 12, 2011

Dancing with my doggie angel...

First of all a huge thank you to all the love you showed me last week after Bruno left his body. That dog has been such an amazing soul that I'm still finding it hard to feel a huge "loss" because his spirit is so strong and he's around so much, I no sooner have a wave of grief, than a wave of laughter hits as his spirit shows me some funny picture, or simply wraps me in a blanket of angel love so strong I feel like a child cradled in the womb once again. It has been profound and beautiful.

He's even been giving me license plate messages. "Ok hunky boy, we're going for a ride," I said the other day. I felt him sit in the passenger seat next to me - something he was never allowed to do in the physical since he would have liked to climb in my lap! Within seconds I was cut off by a van with the license plate K9TAXI!!! "I bet you're having a blast today," I said as I walked through a parking lot. Something turned my head to the right where a car was parked with the plates, "K9DANCE!" I laughed so hard. God knows the coordination in the universe never ceases to amazing me! I'm seeing "Wolf" signs everywhere. He is not a subtle spirit. My favorite form of contact is simply sitting still looking at his pictures or shutting my eyes and thinking of all our happy times. I feel his huge spirit around me in an embrace so sweet and tender and loving that my heart expands from the inside out and I suddenly feel warm and wonderful all over. I feel truly blessed. He even gave me a gift in his passing that I did not realize until the following week. When his spirit passed through me on the way out, it must have ben some form of initiation. Now when I touch people their loved ones in heaven, if willing, have been bringing the most amazing and comforting heat through my hands. I know Bruno's "exit" somehow facilitated this new gift. What a joy!

And while I am still human and have had a few rounds of wracking sobs, I feel so blessed to also know that endings are beginnings, and that "now" is what we have to live with joy. I do look back and enjoy the love, but I don't want to pretend it is gone. I still love the being that was my dog and he still loves me. I don't want to feel sad thinking he is gone because he isn't. I don't want to cling to what was. I want to be open to what is to come. And so I set about cleaning my house vigorously, eating very healthy foods to help my body recuperate from a year of little sleep and furry elder care, and starting to do the exercises and stretches I know I need to feel amazing again.

Lucy, my female furball and I are starting to have a new and more beautiful relationship as well. Years ago, she came to my house with such a horrid attitude I've never seen the likes of it! My friends can't believe this dog who is now sweet as sugar was ever such a pouty miserable creature! I have to pull out the photos. Years of love and popcorn made all the difference. I'm bringing her to the groomer for the "Spa Day" I promised her after she was so ignored for months of Bruno's care. She is very excited about that. Already the increased attention and treats are convincing her that having me all to herself isn't such a bad thing after all!


And so when you go through a loss, do let yourself feel your feelings. I'm not about to stop the grief when it hits. Don't look back and beat yourself up for what you did or didn't do. Half of grief is missing the physical form and often sadly, the other half is guilt and shame over the "coulda woulda shoulda's." What is done is done. What matters is that you feel the love now, your loved ones know it, and they're most likely sending you more than they ever could on earth.

If you have lost stuff, embrace the lessons then move forward with your manifestations. Years ago I got divorced and left a man, two dogs, and a home that I loved. Our paths had separated as I realized I had a calling other than the traditional life. It was ok, but it was hard. I moved into a small apartment that I ended up loving for its simplicity. It gave me time to grow, travel, and become the angel communicator I am today. Then when I was ready for a home, guess what! I found the exact same model I had lived in before, only with the improvements I had once visualized! The angels say that everything we've ever created exists within us and when the time is right we can bring it to the surface again in our lives.

So when you lose someone or something, as the angels say, look also for what is to be found, for gifts await in every circumstance. No matter how hard, how sad, how scary... there is always love waiting to be discovered in every situation.

Have a fantastic week, and please receive the love from me and and the fuzzy angel who is heating up my hands as I type and asking me to thank you all for all the prayers and love you have sent his way over the past year.

Hugs and howls :)!
Ann

0 comments: