Saturday, January 08, 2011

God loves us... really

I needed the angels' message today. Sometimes in the throes of aging doggie care I forget to focus on the fact that I am loved. As I write this I'm on the second load of wash this morning. My dear dog is outside because it is beautiful, he loves the outdoors, and I can't let him in till I finish the wash. And yet he is having fits because he wants to be inside. He has always been a demanding guy but lately his tantrums have been off the charts. I have never seen a being resist aging so strongly! He wants to be here still. Every time I ask him if he wants me to call the vet he looks away or worse yet glares at me or starts to howl his discontent! And yet, he cannot walk easily and whines and pitches unholy tantrums when he can't get where he wants fast enough. It is quite something.

As this newsletter is interrupted , I feel the rainbow of human emotions running through me. I feel irritation, helplessness, because no matter how much I love him he will is not satisfied with this phase of life, feelings of panic as to how I'll ever get anything accomplished,a desire for a more peaceful life for me, and under it all incredible love for this beautiful being that has been my companion for so many years. You name it, I feel it! I know many of you have been there - so overloaded with demands on you from someone you care about, be it child or elder, that you can't even sort out a dominant feeling... except, thank God, love.

So I did as the angels suggested. As my dog whined outside, I sat for a moment, breathed and asked to feel God's love for me. I was flooded in that moment with warm, tenderness, and a feeling of being held by the angels. It was exquisite. And in this space, I remember who I am and what I am made of again. I focused on the presence of God within my heart and focused all my love on my dog. Since God loves me so much, he wants to help me, and I asked him to please comfort me and my dog and help us find peace. I felt immense peace in my heart, knowing I was not handling this all alone. Just as suddenly there was quiet outside and I snuck to the window to see my big guy resting in the sunshine once again. Tantrum over.

Many of us do not quite understand God's love because we equate it to human love. We think we have to earn it, be good, do the right things, etc. We think if we are rewarded with what we want God loves us, and if we don't have it, either we haven't been good enough or God doesn't love us. That is all a bunch of nonsense! In truth we are loved beyond our capacity to comprehend - unconditionally, deeply, and eternally.

Loving myself unconditionally has been a huge lesson as of late. I have no been living up to my standards at all times by any means. I have lost it and yelled at the dog, then cried my eyes out. I've been so emotionally tired some nights after helping him calm down that I got whiny and wasn't sure I could get up the next morning. After one particularly hard night last weekend, Archangel Michael came in and tenderly suggested, "It wouldn't hurt to ask for help." I thought I had been praying for help but I realize I had been praying while focusing on the negative reality, rather than praying while focusing on the peace I wanted! My mouth was saying what I wanted but my entire energy field was praying for exactly what I didn't want! He sure sets me straight! It made a huge difference :)!

When things get hard the angels have me sit still and focus on believing and feeling how much God loves me. Suddenly I am resting in the arms of a mother and father who only want my good, a lover who is tender, sweet, and caring, a soft breeze that caresses my skin on a spring day, and a gentle rain in the midst of a hot summer. I am resting in the arms of none less than the One who made us and breathes life into us all. And for just a second or however long I can hold that feeling, I want the whole world to know this love. It can change your life in an instant. It can shift your reality very quickly even if the outer circumstances do not yet change. It can heal your heart, calm your body, and remind you of the deepest truth of your reality. And if you do it often enough, it starts to become the loving and beautiful reality in which you live. Other beings will do what they need to do. The world will continue to create its hardships and lessons. And yet, you can be the peace amidst the chaos, and with practice, it becomes pretty amazing. We may never be "perfect" at it, but we are loved unconditionally just the same!