Saturday, December 11, 2010

Do what you can

Time used to be a big issue for me! I used to pack too much into my days, ignore my own needs, and try to emulate Martha Stewart, spiritual masters, and my own family traditions, while running a business and taking care of two dogs. In short, I used to be crazy! A broken foot in 2004 that left me on crutches for five months taught me balance, and to this day I am grateful for that gift. Now, during the holidays I get what I want to get done, when I can and some things just don't get done. This year, when three clients cancelled all in the same afternoon and nothing in me wanted to refill those slots, I trusted God would handle the finances, and put up the Christmas decorations, which believe it or not I find restfu.

My holiday cards were not done in my usual timing so I waited until I felt like doing them. I will not be baking the 100 dozen cookies I used to bake this year. In fact, I'm eating so much less sugar, I may only make a few batches. But it is all ok, because the spirit of Christmas seems so much more alive in my heart this year than ever before. I am taking more time in the evenings to actually sit and enjoy my own decorations. I am not going to many events so I can spend time with my furry kids. And the few presents I'm giving this year really do come from my kitchen, craft room, or my heart. It feels simpler this year, and more authentic than ever before. My body is telling me not to overdo it, and so in listening (for once!) I can feel my heart ready to share more love with friends, family, and clients.

And while a Martha Stewart Christmas WOULD always thrill me, I am content doing what I can, being who I am, and celebrating the true spirit of the season which is all about light coming into a darker world. This year, more than ever before, I have been tasked to bring the light into an onslaught of challenges, and looking back I feel really good about coming through it all brighter and more loving than when I started.

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