Saturday, June 19, 2010

So-called limiting spaces

Today's messages speaks to me very clearly. As many of you know earlier this year I had one large intention - "Dear God I want everything in my home, life, and body that does not belong, up and out!" And so began a week of appliance breakdowns (they were old), mold breakouts (it was lurking), and the most challenging of all, a breakout of intestinal parasites that, according to the angels were lurking in my body just waiting to hatch for some time. So for three months I tried to get rid of the horrid things using all manner of natural medicines, etc. The problem was, they eat sugar and about every month or so when I got hormonal, I'd cheat on my diet and eat sugar and have another outbreak. In April I got serious with myself and decided that if I was ever going to heal, I had to cut the sugar out for months. For the first few weeks I felt like an addict on withdrawal. I drooled at every piece of cake, chocolate, and ice cream that I saw. Then something wonderful started happening. My will-power won and the cravings subsided. My taste buds still wanted sugar but when I ask my body it quietly says, "Not now, thank you." So when I see something yummy I imagine eating it, feel all the pleasure, and don't wreck my system.

I started eating even healthier a month ago. I wanted to really detoxify my system. So for over a month now I've had no sugar, no flour, no meat (I just lost my taste for it one day after a lot of praying to be completely healthy again), and very little dairy. I started eating mostly grains, greens, fruits, nuts, and beans. Immediately I began to feel better. I have always loved to cook and now I've had to learn to cook and eat a whole new way. I never knew beans could taste so good. I had never made Indian Dahl before, nor had I explored the tasty world of spices in such great depth. And what started out as a feeling of real limitation, has now turned into a culinary adventure.

A few weeks ago the angels recommended I go on a three day fast with only water and tea to really kick any stragglers out of my system. They told me to clear my schedule because it would be exhausting. And so, for three days I gave up food. Because I had already been eating healthy it wasn't as bad as I thought. The first day I was just a little tired. The second morning I laid on the raft in the pool and got some much needed rest, so I actually felt more energized. However, by dinnertime on the second day the cravings came in full force! I was tired, dizzy, and would have eaten anything had I not been so serious about healing. I made the crazy choice to watch the food channel on tv and drooled at hot dogs loaded up with mac and cheese. Then I decided to read healthy cookbooks instead and dream up better meals for myself. By the morning of day 3 I knew I was on the home stretch but had to surrender to resting because that is all I had the energy to do. It was SO needed. I hadn't rested that much in ages! So once again a limitation became a blessings. By the time I could eat again I wanted great food. Asian greens with ginger and garlic made my heart sing, raw carrot salad tasted like dessert, Indian Dahl, hummus with red pepper strips... oh my goodness, the healthy diet tasted like a cornucopia for my senses! And so limitation has become exhiliaration. I may not eat this way forever, but as long as my body wants this good stuff, this is what it is going to get.

I've had financial limitations this year too - so many appliances broke after my "Big Intent"! Up and out with the old! The car needed repairs. The dogs are high maintenance and high cost due to their age. I do three to four loads of laundry every day to make sure they have clean flooring in the bedroom which is lined with such towels. And yet, even in spite of the financial squeeze, I feel rich! I'm wasting less, doing less, and resting more. I'm making priorities for when I have more that will really add energy and value to my life rather than spending on a whim. I've been delighted to be in the process of weeding out stuff instead of wanting more and passing things on to people who can truly use them. Sharing like this always makes me feel abundant. So once again, limitation becomes expansion of the soul. And God always comes through to pay the bills. Always.

So when you feel limited, first of all accept the fact that this is the way it is for now. No use struggling against what is already going on. Intend what you want in the future. Then, decide to get creative. I can live like a healthy Martha Stewart on a 99cent only superstore veggies and a thrift store budget. When we give up our complaints and focus on our creativity a whole new world opens up. You never know... you might just like who you become, and how your life transforms, when you find yourself in one of these so called limiting spaces!

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