Saturday, May 29, 2010

How would life differ without fear?

This week it occurred to me to ask myself, "How would my life be different if I had no fear?" I posted the question on facebook and the results were heartwarming. I don't think the big fears are what really drag us down. I believe it is the little tiny insidious fears that yak, yak, yak in our minds on a daily basis that are the soul sucking culprits that rob us of our energy and ability to truly be the love that we are.

I've faced most of my big fears, but it's the little ones I want to sort through and get out of my life and my mind. For example, earlier in the week my girl dog snarfed down the other dog's medication on top of her own. I raised my voice in fear, "NO!!" She ran off because I scared her. I settled down and realized that all I had to do was tune in and see if she'd be ok. She was. I had needlessly reacted. I had to get out of the fear to figure out what to do.

Fear blocks the guidance we could get otherwise. Once my other dog ate a wooden basting brush. It was Sunday and only emergency clinics were open and there was my dog filled with wood splinter that could kill him. For a moment, I freaked out. The I settled down and had the thought to google "My dog ate splinters"... well from there I found the "Cotton Ball remedy." which worked like a charm. (Take several 100% cotton balls, and rip into tiny pieces. Dip them in milk or cream and feed to the dog. They wrap around the splinters and escort them out safely. Dog was fine and I was more peaceful.)

There are times when fears keep us from speaking up and letting others know how much we care. Fears stop us from sharing our thoughts and feelings, and in reality that stops us from authentically connecting with others. I disagreed with a dear friend this week and almost chickened out of sharing my feelings. When I kindly shared my thoughts, we had a great discussion and our friendship deepened. If you fear that you will lose someone by being yourself, perhaps you are losing yourself.

There are times when fears keep us from admitting what we are good at and this keeps us from starting a business or sharing our talents. In the past when someone has asked "What do you do" I replied, "Oh counseling." Now I tell the whole truth, "I talk to angels and dead people." It either scares people away or we find a wonderful and meaningful connection. Truth sorts life out. Fear keeps us in the generic, bland, and illusory "safety" zone where we can please the majority of people but have to give up who we really are.

Fear also prevents us from really enjoying our lives. I haven't been to this one hiking spot in ages because it's a little climb and a little scary but I love it and know I'm safe, so this weekend I climbed up on an extinct cinder cone and had the best meditation I've had in ages, centered between earth and sky. Silly little fears had prevented that experience for years.

So this week, join me in this experiment and ask yourself... "How would life be different today if I had no fear." Don't worry about the big fears, and don't abandon discernment and common sense. Just notice the little fears that creep up and see if you can act as if they are not there... always with love, kindness, and a willingness to be who you really are. I bet it will free up more of your energy and makes room for more joy!