Saturday, May 08, 2010

Communicating from the heart

Thankfully I've been feeling loved and loving lately. I've been really tuning into God and the angels, not just for others, but also for myself on a regular basis and I've been really honest about what I can and can't do. That makes for happier relationships. There have been plenty of times in my past, however, when people have frustrated me and I was tasked to drop deeper in my heart and communicate from there.

A few examples come to mind. I worked with a woman back in my corporate days who had a habit of putting me down in front of our peers. It drove me crazy. I was supposed to be running the meetings but she would come in, take over and disagree with me in front of the people we were leading. I didn't know what to do so I prayed and asked God to help me solve it in the right way on the right day. One day, after a meeting, I shut the door and said, "What have I done to upset you?" "What do you mean she asked?" I was so tired and frustrated my eyes started watering. "You put me down and disagree with me in front of everyone. I don't know what I've done." She burst into tears and apologized. She explained she had never had anyone competent working for her and was accustomed to taking charge. From that day on we worked together and became friends.

Another time, when I was going through a tough time in my life an acquaintance kept insisting that she knew how to fix me. She didn't listen to my polite attempts to decline the help. Finally the angels coached me to say, "I don't feel as if you are listening to me. I appreciate your heart and your desire to help but I have to listen to my own guidance and learn my own lessons." That worked. We both felt better. She had felt me pushing her away until then and was just pushing harder. Her desire to love was sincere. However my desire to listen to my own heart was just as sincere. We just needed to communicate.

Perhaps an even tougher thing for me is when I have to decline someone's attention or offer when I know that they might not take it well. Years ago I had a day off and went to the thrift store to look for some clothing. I was cherishing my time in silence since I spend so much time during the week with others. A man started following me like a puppy and talking my ear off. He was nice enough but I felt his energy tugging for my attention and didn't have it in me to give more that day. The angels were in my head, commanding me, "Be kind but be honest." "Sir you are a very nice man and I am so sorry about this, but I do counseling work and today is my day off and I really needed some quiet time, so please forgive me, but I really don't feel like talking now, and I really don't want to hurt your feelings but I have to be honest." "Oh!" he exclaimed, "I'm sorry!" and he left me in silence again.

That was HARD! I still don't enjoy having to say things to people knowing that it might hurt their feelings, or disappoint them, or that I might be misunderstood, and yet the angels will not let me get away with anything but honesty. When I am not 100% honest with myself and therefore others, they call me on it, and I must go back and communicate more deeply. And while this risk of being vulnerable is not an easy thing, better to risk being loving and truthful than to continue to try to please everyone while getting upset. Better to listen to the whispers God plants in my heart and trust that He is directly all my relationships.

So this week, try for impeccable honesty expressed with kind loving care.
Have a happy week!
Love,
Ann

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