Saturday, March 27, 2010

Grateful to be alive

I am grateful to be alive. I never have had any real serious thoughts of dying young. However, lately I have caught myself praying very hard to "live fully" for no good reason except that was the prayer in my heart. One psychic friend wrote out of the blue last month to tell me, "It wasn't my time." I thought that was odd. Another psychic friend kept checking my car tires for some odd reason. I thought that was odd, but appreciated the car. Still another kept urging me to care for my health. I got a little irritated because I felt fine other than the little parasite issues I'm healing. When I asked them all why, no one knew. I didn't think much more about it.

And a few months ago a car nearly broad-sided me when I was on the road. The driver was absolutely unaware of my presence as they gunned their car at me from the exit to the Sedona Visitor's center. If not for angels holding my hands and helping me veer around it and time the brakes just perfectly...well I shudder. Uncharacteristically I was very shaken, but I shook it off. It was in Sedona, right as you round the corner on 179 and see the beautiful view of Bell Rock. I've often made a little joke that this spot is "the gateway to heaven." Little did I know it could have been.

Those of you following this newsletter know I've been bringing up and cleaning out everything in my mind, body, home, you name it. I'm cleaning out like a crazy woman in my spare time - washing walls, ceiling fans, going through drawers, finishing projects, donating stuff... you name it. I've done a ton of healing sessions and past life regressions these past several months to clean out my soul too. I am finishing off a bout with parasites, planning to get my back bathroom updated to clear out any remnants of mold when God sends me the ability to do so. Cleaning and clearing seem to be the theme. I've never done it this deeply and wasn't quite sure what was up with it... it was just in my heart to clear out the old and make room for the new. It has been an intense and furious time of growth for me.

As many of you know I get readings from the angels through my friend Summer Bacon periodically to keep me on track and to hear the angels without my own personal biases and wishes for myself. I decided to get a reading before my birthday to keep me on track for the upcoming year and to receive some mentoring.

Imagine my shock when Dr. Peebles, the angel that comes through Summer, told me that they were thrilled for me, and that my 46th birthday last Sunday marked a special day for me because, before I came to earth, I had planned to die prior to this date and join them guiding people up in the heavens. He continued to say that because of my growth and free will, I had chosen to live and life my life fully. I had not mentioned any of this to Summer prior to the reading. I had not even thought about the odd things going on in my life and heart. But something in his statement resonated with my soul, shook me to the core, and made me realize that I might not even have been here had I made different choices. I burst into uncontrollable tears, and cried for nearly two days straight. I was grateful to be alive.

Then last Sunday, on my birthday, the deepest peace I have ever felt came over me. I didn't know what day or time it was. Everything looked new to me. I felt reborn. I felt truly and deeply alive in a very very peaceful way. I was grateful for everything - the good, the friends, the family, the challenges, the pain - all of it.

I know I argued with the angels about coming to earth before I was born. I knew it wasn't going to be easy growth for me to get over the fears I'd carried from lifetimes of attack. I knew it wasn't going to be easy to stand in public, be human, and say, "It's all Good, and It's all God, and it's all love." Nonetheless, I'm glad I have. Now it seems, in spite of all life's challenges - parasites, bathroom remodels on the horizon, aging dogs that wake me up periodically many nights a week and require constantly cleaning - there is a deep, deep peace that has been settling into my heart. This is just life being life. I'm here to learn, but not to make it harder, to surrender and handle things with joy, and most of all to love. I feel that deeply in my bones. I am starting to truly surrender at levels I didn't know I could. And I will never ever again take life and it's richness - challenges or not - for granted, because I am living beyond what my soul originally planned. And no matter how crazy life can get, when you think of not being here, it is a gift beyond price or compare.

It is funny that in my job I dwell with the reality of death every day, and yet, until you think, "That could be me up there," you don't really realize how precious life is.

I am grateful for each one of you, and I promise I'll be sticking around a long, long time! The choice has been made, and I feel very blessed. Heaven is beautiful but earth is a precious and amazing adventure, not to be taken for granted. Each one of you is a blessed and precious part of my path too. You support me as I do you, and we are all in this together.

Enlightenment was never meant to be sitting cross legged on a mountain top, although I do enjoy that! Enlightenment is just bringing love, and light, and joy into whatever life deals. The earth needs our light. And it sure feels good to BE that light. I think we all need to lighten up!!

God bless you all. Treasure your days no matter what they bring, for you are here, able to enjoy one of the most precious and rare experiences a soul can enjoy - life on earth!