Saturday, October 31, 2009

Let your light shine

After my past life regression* a few weeks ago, my soul has felt lighter by the minute. It is amazing to get outside of a lifetime and see it through the eyes of your soul and the love and wisdom of your guides. It is miraculous to know the absolute value in even the most desolate and frightening of times. It is freeing! And so these past few weeks, I have felt the love of God flowing through my heart even more strongly than ever before. In fact, I can't even watch TV now. All I want to do in spare time is listen to uplifting music, or be out in nature, and exist in this heavenly bliss of knowing the goodness of my own soul, minus all the baggage of undeserved guilt and shame I've carried around for centuries. I know in time the experience will integrate and I may be able to enjoy other forms of entertainment besides the music or the glorious symphony found in the silence of my own soul, but for now I'm thoroughly enjoying this phase! Post mystical experience bliss can be both uplifting and at the same time soul-shaking.

The soul shaking part comes from the fact that its terrifying at times to surrender to such a HUGE force of love. We all want it. We all want to feel God's presence. But the more we do, the more the ego starts kicking and screaming. "I'm not in control!" It never truly was, but now it knows it is dying and something more beautiful is being brought to light inside. I sit in meditation and feel a force so strong it shakes me, and I know that this shaking is only coming from the part of me trying to hang on, to stay in charge, to plan out my life. The force of love wants to take over and carry me along the path God wants for me. So I sit, breathe, relax, receive, surrender, and let go more deeply. And then warm bliss spreads throughout my being.

THIS is the feeling of being "in love" that we all crave. This is existing IN God's love - in a space of knowing who you are and what you are made of. I have no delusions about staying in this space every minute of my life but while I'm here I love it. I'm working very hard to memorize it, and allow for it to continue to flow in my life. It colors my existence. I want to be loving to everyone else in this space. I want to focus on all that is good, and even the challenges in life aren't a big deal in the moment. I took a walk in nature Saturday and saw only God's miraculous beauty. The cold water of the creek washing over my toes, the rustle of the autumn leaves, the crisp scent of fall in the air - it felt like a slice of heaven.

I am human. I know there will always be challenging times, new things to look at inside of myself, and new ways to grow, but I can vouch for the fact that for every time I've gone through a dark night of the soul, for every time I have felt life challenge the very notion of what I'm made of, I've always come out into greater light.

If you are in a challenging time, having a little whine is fine, but then really dig in and look at what you are learning. Really embrace the inner growth rather than balking at the outer challenges. Surrender - you are where you are. Ask how can you make the best of it, be the most loving, ask for the most help? How can you embrace the fact that earth is a school and we are eternal beings here, learning to dissolve the illusions that hold us bound.

Many of you on this list have told me you love hearing about how I handle challenges, so I hope you don't mind hearing about how I handle the blissful challenge of feeling such huge love! I share it because I know some of you have already been there, and for those who aren't yet, I want to share hope because spring always follows winter and a glorious dawn always follows the dark.

The angels said to a client this week, "God is simply ripping away all that you thought you were so you can discover all that you truly are." I have had all that I thought I was ripped away over the last 15 years of my life and I give thanks for that. I thought I was my job - but instead of being an avionics engineer I discovered I was a mystic and a creative soul. I thought I was a pious little religious girl, but instead I discovered that was only a small expression of the truly loving and spiritual being that I am. I thought I was a make-nice, do-good er, but instead discovered that walking in truth - be it pretty or painful - is nicer and more blessed. I am not my income, my circumstances, my title, or even the results of my life. I just simply AM. And so are you.

God bless you all on your journey,
Your souls, even in the dark times, shine ever so brightly.

Love and hugs,

* My guide into my past lives was Robin Miller in Sedona, AZ. He is both an acclaimed New Age Musician and a skilled earth angel who can assist you easily into other dimensions. Because of the purity of his channeling in these sessions it is as if the angels themselves are guiding you through the darkness, up and into the light.
Check out his site here

Others who can guide you in regression in the Phoenix and a few other areas are listed here.

Saturday, October 24, 2009

Past lives and present revelations

I recently experienced a past life regression hypnosis. It all started three months ago when I asked God quite plainly to help me get rid of the fear and tension in my body. Well maybe "ask" is too light a word... In truth I declared unto the heavens, "I want this phantom tension, fear, and pain out of my body and I want it out now!" And thus began a series of events that triggered incredible fears. I had fearful clients. I had upset friends. I had my own silly worries creep into my mind. I shook and froze with unnamable fears. I had a friend clear me and my house and that helped, but I knew there was more. Finally Dr. Peebles (the angel that comes through my friend Summer Bacon) recommended I get a past life regression* with someone who didn't know me so I could clear this out once and for all. The minute I heard that suggestion my body started giving me all sorts of lovely information about what to expect.

So without going into detail, suffice it to say that my little joke about being "roasted, toasted, sliced, and diced" and still being back on earth again and just fine turned out to be quite true. I saw lifetimes where I spoke up vehemently about right and wrong only to be put to death. I saw lifetimes where I was scapegoated, and confused about what I did wrong (nothing really). I even saw one in which I took on responsibility for others being tortured as a result of me speaking up about those in power. I saw the incredible guilt I took on as a result. During the hypnosis, as the light of understanding clicked in, the guilt just left. I have had that horrid dark, sad, sorry, energy in my body as long as I remember. And its gone!! I could have jumped for the sheer delight of it all! I feel lighter and worry free.

It is so funny how serious everything can seem in the moment, and how, after a lifetime, it is all just a lesson. I saw the faces of those who hurt me, tortured me, killed me, and I knew they were people I love this lifetime. We've obvious gotten over it! I saw the lessons I learned, the illusions I took on, and the strength of my own spirit. And I am rejoicing. Seeing the love and the truth feels awesome!

So, in this lifetime if someone or something upsets you, try to put it in perspective - you are an eternal soul. This challenge too shall pass, and even the worst things that happen to us, teach us more about our own loving nature. In one lifetime I was a mystic who felt that I had accomplished nothing because I was thrown in a dungeon - I had refused to use my powers for bad reasons and that ticked off the souls who wished to use me. It wasn't until after my death that I realized my greatest act of love that entire lifetime was being kind to a fellow prisoner - that all my attempts to teach and force humans to grow were nothing compared to the genuine compassion I showed another human being in the final dark, dank, days in a dungeon. How little we know of the true value of our lives until we get to the other side. How small our problems really are in the light of our souls own brilliance.

If you find yourself in a situation you don't like pray like crazy and ask God to see it through His eyes - what is your soul trying to teach you? If you find yourself around someone you don't like much, pray to see them through God's eyes. Where is the good in their soul that they are striving to find? And above all, every day, pray and ask God to help YOU see yourself through His eyes, for indeed there is no greater love, no more magnificent reflection of your own loving brilliance and bright light.

I love you all and ask God to bless you on your journey,
We're all in this school together :)

PS - Please say prayers for my mom Carol to have a great year - 10/24 is her birthday!!

* My guide into my past lives was Robin Miller in Sedona, AZ. He is both an acclaimed New Age Musician and a skilled earth angel who can assist you easily into other dimensions.
Check out his site:

For others who can guide you in regression click here.

Saturday, October 17, 2009

Self care is loving the world

The angels message hits home with me this week. My greatest challenge in my work and personal life over the years has been to constantly remind myself that it is not my job to 'fix' anyone's life but rather to allow God and the angels to guide and love them through whatever it is they are going through at the moment. It is the tendency of so many good people to want to focus on the lives of others and do all we can to make everyone else happy. It is our hearts that want to reach out and do this, and it comes from the best of intentions.

And yet, it is our only job to listen to God's guidance in our hearts and follow that in our lives, for to do this is to truly fix our own lives, to live as God intended, and therefore to trust that God is also going to use us as He knows best to help and assist others in their growth.

There was a time in my life when my mother was really burning herself out taking care of my grandmother. It was so hard to watch. There was no balance and she was starting to get sick as well. I had to have a horribly hard conversation and tell my mom that if she got ill from not taking care of herself, I was not going to burn myself out and get ill taking care of her - that I would do my best, but that the cycle of martyrdom in our family tree had to stop. It was unthinkably hard to say this. I was afraid she would think me uncaring. I was afraid of not being seen as a 'good' daughter. I cried. She cried. But she began taking better care of herself and I thank God she is still with me today.

Being true to yourself is, at times, unthinkably hard. It goes against our tendencies to want to please. And yet this honesty is often exactly what is needed for all, at levels we cannot even comprehend because of our limited perspectives. God knows what He is doing. We have to trust this.

I ask God every day, "Please let my words be your words. Please guide me in what you want me to do. Please let me know what you want in every aspect of my life." I have had to turn down a lot of offers to spend time with beautiful people in order to stay in balance in my life. Every now and then I do get off, but getting back on track is so much quicker than it used to be.

It is not selfish to take care of yourself. It is absolutely required if we are to be able to let our lights shine in this world. It is ok to say 'no' to another if that means saying 'yes' to your own self care. In the long run, there will be more to give and share. Self-care is almost always blocked out on my schedule and private time is non-negotiable in my life. It allows me to refill my own cup and bear witness to the world's pain with great love. It allows me to make sure my relationship with God and myself is in the right place first before I relate to others. When I slip, the consqeuences are obvious in my life. Self care need not take long - it can be a few minutes spent in silent prayer, a brief nap when I'm in the middle of a busy day, or at least a brief time to sit and eat and replenish my body. We know what we need. We just need to listen. It takes practice, because we aren't trained to do this. We're human. Sometimes I forget. But when I do, I get back to basics immediately - rest, good food, time with God, and positive thinking - and life begins to turn around.

So take care of yourself and ask God how He wants you to serve. Rather than automatically reaching out to save or fix another, pray to God and ask Him how you can best serve. God knows always what is best for all. Trust in that and you will be giving from a full cup instead of pouring from an empty one.

Saturday, October 10, 2009

Sit, breathe, wait for help

There are times when I've felt pretty slam-dunked by my lessons. There are times when I've thrown tantrums, bargained with God, and did all the things we humans do when we feel helpless. Then the angels would always come in and remind me that they saw me as a child in need of love and would just hold me until I grew up again and started assuming my place in the universe. Once they teased me, saying, "Yes last night you threw a tantrum unto the heavens unlike any we have ever seen. We got out our popcorn and watched the sparks fly!" I had to laugh. Another time they said, "We love it when your green eyes shoot sparks." Now how could I stay upset at that?! I have learned over the years to catch myself at the onset of a tantrum, to breathe when feeling desperate for help, and to sit, pray, and receive God's love when I feel nutty or helpless. Then, when I'm calm, I get back in touch with what I want and pray for it.

A month or so ago, I was bombarded by a very nasty energy. This was a doosey. It was one of those vibrations that dredges up all your past life fears. I was convinced that I wasn't safe on earth. I had all sorts of negative thoughts bombarding me, that I knew weren't from me at all. I realized that I had to get a grip on myself, and clear out this other energy. I had no clue what it was or how I let it in.

I did what I always do when I feel clueless. I turned to God. I reminded myself that He loves me and that me shivering in unknown fears isn't exactly what He has in mind for my life; therefore, I was stuck in some illusion and had something to learn. I sat, breathed, and asked for guidance and understanding as to my lessons and what I needed to do to feel better again. In this case was guided to ask for human help (Susan Palmer rocks at clearings - The shaking and freezing stopped and I was able to see how I allowed this energy into my system. I had just gotten a bit worn out and tired and had forgotten to set up my energetic boundaries. I have to do this every day or I get myself in trouble. Once again I'm in truth affirming that I am made of God's love and here to give and receive it. I feel like me again.

When you find yourself in a situation you'd rather not be in, sit, breathe, and wait for inspiration or guidance. You may need to pray for comfort, patience, or peace first. You may be guided to ask for human help. You may be guided to rest, take time off, or use your focus to clear your thoughts. Trust what you feel after you have calmed down. God wants to help you learn more easily. Its not the preference of a loving creator to see us struggle so much. We do that on our own. Instead of screaming, "I want help; I want money; I want someone or something to change," pray... "God help me learn and help my life change gracefully." "God help me feel your abundance in my heart so I can manifest it in my life. I give thanks for all I do have." "God help me learn how to be loving to myself and others, and work this situation out." Those prayers work better in my experience - they put you in a much nicer vibrational space. After all, you can't manifest diamonds while focusing on doo doo! (Want a laugh - as I was spell-checking my computer wanted to change this to read "doom doom"... oh how funny!)

My favorite prayer every morning these days is:

God, fill my mind, heart, body, soul, friends, family, home and dogs with Your grace. Fill every one of my activities with Your grace. Go before me and pave the way with magic and miracles. Make Your desires for me, be my desires. Make Your thoughts, my thoughts. Make the words You wish to speak through me be my words. Thy will be done... and make me love it! Let me see me through your eyes.

Then I take a minute, breathe in God's love until I feel full and go about my day. Take time this week to ask for more help. Pray to understand the lessons and trust understanding will come. Pray for God to assist you into a better space and wait for inspiration. Your prayers are all heard, but the ones you pray with power and sincerity carry more weight in the universe than angry, victimized, helpless, or uninspired prayer. After all you WERE made in God's image and likeness, and so in truth, you are powerful, loving, and deserving of all help!

Saturday, October 03, 2009

The love of the earth

Nature has always been a source of replenishment and restoration for me. When I feel 'off' I go outside, even if it is only to sit on a blanket on the grass for a few minutes, or rest on the patio. A good long hike always clears my head and cleans my energy. I love the earth. All you have to do is look around you when you are outdoors to see the love of God manifest in the miracles of His creation. God did not hide his love. He bestowed it everywhere, from the blue sky, to the green grass, to the myriad of flowers, or the sweetness of a drenching rain. How can you ever feel unloved when you are kissed by the sun, caressed by the breezes, and sung sweet songs by a symphony of birds at dawn and dusk. How indeed? We forget how loved we are. We forget to appreciate what is right in front of us. In our hurry to pay bills, get chores done, and pack our days in order to 'be happy someday' we forget to get outside, to sit and appreciate creation, and to BE happy now. So much wealth is right outside our doorsteps, yet we forget how loved we are.

Years ago, "Fred," the ficus tree I planted in the backyard, died in a rare winter frost. We went outside and did a little prayer ceremony around him, hoping to bring him back to life. Well he was gone for good, but miraculously, in his place, a a mulberry tree began to grow. The mulberry grew 35 feet tall in five years. Its canopy shades my yard in the summer and allows sunshine in during the winter. It is home to a veritable aviary of birds - finches, hummingbirds, mockingbirds, sparrows, a woodpecker now and then, grackles, cardinals - you name it. Every morning they sing to me, and at night they thank God for the day with another song. This tree has become the hub of wildlife in my little suburban yard and I love it. I didn't even put it in the ground myself. Nature did it for me.

A few years later I got interested in fairies - the little nature angels that watch over God's plants. I heard they liked sparkly stuff, so hoping my neighbors wouldn't see me, I went out and sprinkled glitter in the planter box where I was having trouble growing things in the rocky soil. "Anything else you guys want," I asked psychically. I heard a loud chorus of voices. "We want an angel statue! We want an angel statue!" So off to the local mega-mart I went to get an inexpensive yard angel to appease the chorus of fairies in my head. That year, beautiful pink primroses sprouted up spontaneousy in my planter boxes and to this day they give me a carpet of lovely flowers in April. Again, I didn't plant them - the seeds blew in on the breezes. Now everything grows in my planter boxes.

Nature always reminds me of resurrection and new life. It teaches me about the phases of life. Something new is always sprouting up in the yard. When one thing dies, something more beautiful grows in its place. When winter comes everything goes a bit dormant and reminds me to rest. When spring comes, flowers bloom in all their glory reminding me to celebrate new life and new activity. Fall is a time of harvest, and letting go of what is inauthentic in our lives. All I have to do, to feel connected with God, is to sit outside and contemplate all the miracles around me. Mother earth, and all her creatures are indeed teachers and ambassadors of God's love.

I even asked the pigeons, who seem to love my yard, a quick question the other day. "Hey guys, if all God's creatures serve a purpose, what is yours? Many people don't like you much and you have to admit, you are a bit messy." "Rainbow" who is both a fantastic daddy pigeon and quite the loving husband to his pigeon wife, answered. "Pigeons are not afraid to bring nature into the cities which have been paved over, polluted, and where all other remnants of God's creation have been virtually wiped out. We eat the cast-off crumbs that humans toss away. People think we are messy and in one sense we are, but our presence is meant to remind people that even in the midst of the messy pollution, concrete, and artificial environments, God's creation is ever present." I was impressed - I really didn't expect much of an answer. Watching these birds - the ones that most people loathe - teaches me. They are very loving to their partners. They take turns sitting on their nests. They have close knit families and are trusting until they learn otherwise. I could write a whole book on what I've learned from them.

So mother earth does nurture and teach and comfort us in all ways great and small. You can take this at face value and simply relax in her beauty, or you can really tune into her energy and receive a blanketing wave of comforting energy enveloping you that is akin to a mother's love. Either way, she can replenish your spirit, and goodness knows, we are all in need of that now and then.