Saturday, May 30, 2009

Wonderful now

I am constantly striving to live in the present. Being a person who packs a lot into her life I am guilty often of thinking of the next ten things I need to do, rather than focusing on the here and now. While going through a drive-through the other day to grab a quick lunch, I caught myself calculating the time to see if I could grab some groceries before running home to let my dogs out. The insanity of it all made me burst into laughter. I used a technique the angels gave me a long time ago to pull myself back into the present. I imagined all my thoughts as strings that went to the past and the future, and as I breathed in, I pulled those strings all back into my body. I did this a few times until I felt centered in the moment. Suddenly, lunch was all that mattered. Instead of eating in my car, I pulled over, sat down, enjoyed a leasurely lunch and fed the sparrows hovering around the table while I was at it. Miraculously I had plenty of time to grab the groceries without hurry and got home in time to care for the dogs.

Its easier to call myself into the present when things are easy as they were on that day. It is far more challenging to be present when we find ourselves in a difficult or uncomfortable situation. My memorial day holiday, for example, was memorable. For the past month, my digestion has been 'off' and uncomfy, but luckily during readings I am not at all focused on myself and my body and so I didn't pay much attention. I had conveniently scheduled a session with my friend Summer who channels Dr. Peebles a few months back and when it came time to talk to this marvelous angel, he told me I had quite an unusual parasite living in my intestines. YUK. He gave me a concoction to drink to help it out of its body and therefore out of mine. To say the ordeal was unpleasant is a magnificent understatement. I spent the weekend trying to be comfortable while things that shouldn't have ever been in anyone's body, let alone mine, found a way out. I didn't want to be present at all! I'm really good at going into meditation and getting my awareness into other realms, but the angels told me this type of escape wouldn't help me feel better faster! In fact, they said that if I had gathered my light all the way in my body I wouldn't have allowed in a bunch of other energies that wore me out and allowed this to happen.

So in spite of discomfort, I sat, breathed, and tried to be present with the needs of my body and soul, rather than trying to escape the pain and discomfort. My soul wanted to go outside so I sat in a lawn chair, listened to the birds, and appreciated the buzzing bees and beautiful flowers. My body wanted to rest at one point so I laid on the couch and appreciated the soft texture of the quilt on it that I totally take for granted most days. My body wanted to walk so I slowly walked around the house focusing on my spine's alignment (something I need to do anyway). And miraculously in spite of pain and discomfort, I had a very restful weekend. The parasite is gone, I feel wonderful and rested, my spine is more aligned than ever, I got to enjoy my own home, spend time with the dogs who are now quite happy about this, and really gather my energy back from all the projects, concerns, and people I serve into my own body. I feel wonderful.

So even if you don't like where you're at or what is going on, being present presents gifts you can't even imagine. It helps the tough situations move on through and helps you find the blessings in them.

When you find your mind wandering far away from the moment, breathe, imagine pulling those energy lines of thought back into you until all the beautiful light of your soul is back in your own body and your own aura. You'll notice that everything looks crisper, brighter, and more colorful. Ideas to help you solve problems and issues in your life will come more easily. You'll hear your own heart, know your own mind, feel your own body, and heed the truths in your own emotions. If you're seeking contact with angels, you'll even hear them more easily. And suddenly the people in your life won't tug on you so much because you can be truly 'with' them when you are with them.

This is an ongoing discipline for me, but the rewards are many! So here I go again, thinking about whether or not I'll have time to finish this newsletter before my next appointment. I remind myself, "Stop, breathe, pull yourself back into the present." Ah there we go. It doesn't really matter, does it? If I get it done 'in time' that's wonderful, if not God has other plans :) I trust.

Saturday, May 23, 2009

Be who you are... without fear

I'm a grateful person. I give thanks for the smallest things like the smell of flowers on the breeze, a slight bit of relief when I'm tired, a sweet buzz of energy running through my hands. When my dogs smile at me I have waves of warm gratitude wash through my heart and when I'm able to help a client find peace, I give thanks for that too.

But when it comes to receiving thanks, I have had to learn a lot. Its been my experience with myself and hundreds of clients over the years that when we're doing what God set us up to do, we tend to downplay the gift, think its nothing to fuss over, and gloss over our own value.

The angels say if we could dig deep inside ourselves and share our God-given gifts with others, we would find greater abundance and create joyful businesses, and live lives imbued with grace. Even if you don't have to work, you will find great satisfaction in sharing the gifts God gave you in some fashion - perhaps with family and friends. It makes the world a better place.

Its so sad that we have a notion that you can't earn money or be of value doing what comes easily and naturally to you. I had to work at honing my abilities but I used to assume that my intuitive nature was 'common sense' and that I was just 'oversensitive.' I had no idea it would be of value to others. I thank God He chased me until I learned to trust the divine presence in my life. Over the years I have come to accept the fact that what comes naturally to me is of value to others. However, I had to wade through a lot of fear when I started in this profession. I was totally afraid of people's judgments. I hid behind a sign in the metaphysical bookstore where I started doing readings so that if any of my old engineering buddies walked by they wouldn't see me. When people asked what I do I would say, "Um I'm a consultant." Now I just own who I am, what I do, and come clean with people. They either love it or hate it, but I've accepted who I am.

I think this fear of judgment and fear that one's natural gifts and talents are 'nothing special' holds people back from really living their passions. Its sad that the stigma of 'starving artist' is heaped on so many talented souls who really CAN make a living doing what they love. The artists who make a living at it didn't let that stop them - they persevered. They shared their enthusiasm for their own work until they were contagious and the world caught on. If you can truly OWN the gift in what you love doing then you will project that enthusiasm and others will catch it. It DOES take perseverence to start a business doing what you love, or even if it isn't a business it takes courage to share your gifts with others. I taught one person classes and sat in the bookstore all day on the slowest day of the week, sometimes doing only one fifteen minute reading a day when I started - $6 after taxes and the bookstore's cut. It was terrifying. But something in me said, "Keep going." Better to be terrified doing what you love and to keep going and trust God than to return to a life that had no passion and no heart. To this day, looking back, I am not sure how I survived. True, I had an apartment and expenses that were much lower, but every month was a terrifying tight time, and yet God provided, somehow, always. It was worth it. I'm glad I faced those fears of financial ruin. I'm glad I kept going even when there was little reason. I'm glad the one person classes turned into five people, and twelve, then twenty, and more... I'm glad the one a day readings turned into packed days. It didn't happen overnight.

So if you love something, do it. Stop letting fear of failure, fear of judgment, and fear that you aren't special stop you. Do it on the side and work if you have to at another job to pay the bills. Do it because you love it. Share it with others and ask for donations, or charge and hold your head up high. Make the world a better place by sharing yourself - the real you - and watch how the world returns the love. Some won't. Some will judge, criticize, and do anything but support you. But there will also be those who come out of the woodwork, so to speak, to tell you how much they love what you do.

I got a huge dose of love this week from some friends who decided to remind me of how much I had done for them over the years. It had never sunk into my brain that just by being me, I had deeply affected their lives. I didn't think of anything I did as anything 'special' - it was just being who I am. You can 'just' be who you are too. And that is more than enough :)

This week be who you are. Share yourself or your talents with someone. And enjoy the beautiful echo that comes back in return.

Saturday, May 16, 2009

$2 and a lot of love...

When grocery shopping earlier in the week, a well dressed young man in the parking lot asked for $2 for the bus. I honestly answered that I would let him know in a few minutes - I had been planning to get one specific item at the store and wasn't sure if I would have the $2 leftover, and I didn't have the time to run to the ATM and get more. I left it to God.

Sure enough I did have the $2 and gave it to him. As I pulled out of the parking lot I saw him walking in the sweltering heat, aiming for the bus stop a few blocks away. I stopped and offered him a ride. I don't do this often, but the angels said he was ok. I asked him where he was going. He looked so ashamed and told me that he was working for a telemarketing company although he hated bugging people in the sales position. "At least you are willing to work," I said. "That's nothing to be ashamed of." "What do you like to do?" I asked him. He brightened up and told me how he had been a waiter and loved interacting with people but due to cutbacks had lost his job. "I may get it back in the fall," he said. The angels prompted me to simply say, "It might be sooner, you never know." I told him I'd keep him in my prayers. Near tears, he looked into my eyes, and told me, "You don't know how much your kindness means to me." I drove off feeling like the wealthiest woman on earth. Being able to share, not the $2, but the love of God with this young man made me feel very abundant. When you know you have that love in you, that's when you feel true abundance. That is what we all want to feel and share. Those moments are heaven. Sometimes you need an angel. Sometimes you are called to be one.

When we listen to our guidance, God sends us to help people who need help and makes us feel reticent when He doesn't want us to give. In this fashion, by listening to our hearts we give as God directs. Had I given this young man the $2 immediately I would have missed giving him a ride and talking with him. Because I was honest about not knowing if I'd have it or not, the timing worked and we had this beautiful interaction. When you trust your feelings in each moment - you may not understand why, but that is where the magic happens.

As for my finances, interestingly enough they mirrored my feelings that day. I found out one huge bill for a home repair, that I was expecting, was discounted by 10%. The universe is vibrational. When you know you have something in you to share and you share it, you open up to receive more. Like water going through a pipe, we must both give and receive. In receiving we give. In giving we receive.

Saturday, May 09, 2009

Choose love over being right

I am in the throes of new lessons on balancing living 100% in my truth while at the same time allowing others' to have their truths. Sometimes I shine at it, other times I bombed. The subject has been coming at me from all angles.

A few things really struck me in this process of growth. A friend told me about a type of exercise in China that people were being persecuted and killed for performing, simply because there was a large following and it revved up people's spiritual energy and a prior government feared it would be more powerful than they were. The videos on youtube were horrifying to me - it reminded me of the persecution of the women during the Inquisition and the persecution of the Jewish people in the holocaust. Any time any group is singled out for persecution, there is a sickness in human hearts and that sickness is fear... fear that the ones who instigate the persecution are not powerful, which really comes from the ignorance and the misunderstanding of the fact that they along with all of us are beloved by God and powerful beyond measure. Ironic that the the ones who instigate such atrocities will be greeted at end of their lives by the a long line of souls they thought they 'killed' who greet them with the understanding that they are eternal, that a soul can never be killed, and that an ideology cannot be stamped out by physical death. It is none other than the right hand beating the left for one human to do harm to another. It is domestic violence of the worst sort, for we are all one family. And yet, the angels remind me, we must stop beating ourselves up and we must stop beating up others for their ideologies in order to raise our own consciousness because only then can the world truly change. It starts with us.

Secondly, a client sent me an email saying the Catholic church had deemed Reiki unacceptable and that, in the words of the Catholic Bishops, "in using Reiki for one's spiritual health, 'there are important dangers.'" I was appalled. Reiki is a gentle system of assisting in the body's natural healing abilities, in which the practitioner allows healing energy to flow through their hands into another. Whether you call this energy chi, prana, Holy Spirit, Universal life force or whatever, there is only one healing energy and movement of God in the universe. I couldn't believe what I was reading. But then the angels stepped in and reminded me that it is not my place to put down another's belief, EVEN if it puts down my own. And so I had to take a step back, breathe, calm my natural desires to respond to this with outrage, and to remember that everyone has a right to the beliefs and the world views that they choose to espouse. And we don't all have to agree.

I've been presented with numerous opportunities over the past few weeks to both express my truth and allow others to have theirs. In some cases I've done it very well and in others I've failed miserably. I have a lot more practice before I can consistently allow others their opinion of me and my life, while still maintaining my own opinions with grace and diplomacy. Its a fine line between being a doormat and a warrior. Its a fine line to know your truth and allow others theirs without judgment and argument. Its a fine line between the soul's truth that all stand in their own sacred circle of perspective and the human ego's need for acknowledgment and validation. I'm trying to walk that fine line now, and its not easy... but it IS worth the effort because when I can, greater love emerges. And even when I mess up, I learn.

Wouldn't it be wonderful if we could put aside our fears of one another's belief systems, our need to be right and righteous, our pride, and our desire to build ourselves up and validate ourselves by putting other's down. Wouldn't it be an amazing world if, like children, we could approach one another with a sense of discovery and a total tolerance for the amazing diversities we all share. I am being idealistic here, but I believe that idealism starts with us. So I am watching myself more closely, working even harder to speak my truth with compassion while allowing others' theirs. I'm working harder not to judge those who would judge me. I am working to not be prejudiced against the prejudice, to send love to the haters, and to realize that we are all part of God's creation. Why not choose to espouse the greatest commandment of all - Love God and love your neighbor as yourself. It starts there. I prayed for the torturers along with the victims, and I prayed for the Catholic Bishops as well as the Reiki practitioners worldwide. I prayed for those who are upset with me and those I've been upset with as well. In God's love we are all one family. Someday, maybe, the world will figure this out. For now, we can start by choosing to live that way - one loving encounter at a time.

Saturday, May 02, 2009

Swine flu - no worries

I haven't been watching the news and so when my mother asked if I was worried about swine flu, I asked why I should be. She filled me in and I have since learned what a production is being made of this. As I often say, history repeats - same stuff different day. There have been all manner of plagues throughout history, and yet the world has not come to an end. The angel message is particularly pertinent at this time in my life. My body has been very demanding lately. It demands that I move move and so I'm doing tai chi again. It has wanted more grains, veggies, and fruits, and so I've adjusted my shopping and cooking accordingly. It has wanted me to sloooooow down and so I've been taking time to be still. And I feel better than I have in ages. I can feel the energy breaking through new channels as I stretch, and opening up new gateways of understanding.

I used to ignore and push my body totally. I'd be hungry but keep answering emails. I'd want to exercise and move but wouldn't take time. I'd want to rest but convince myself there was too much to do. Now I listen to my body and have more time and energy as a result. We forget this. The tyranny of the mind has bullied the body for far too long and finally I'm not standing for it any longer. I believe this new round of panic and flu is just nature's way of reminding us to be in balance. I'm not going to get sucked into it. I only get sick when I don't listen to myself. So remember, as my dad used to say, you're bigger than the bugs, and your spirit is stronger than the bugs. And that goes for any so-called negative energy out there, be it a flu bug or an angry person in traffic. Our light is stronger than any dark if we stay in that space. Love drives fears away. And so bless what you fear, thank it for its purpose and then tell it that it can go. In this way, friends have cured cancers. I've driven out bugs once I got their usefulness.

Last weekend, I was in total crampy pain. I tune into the female pain on earth once a month, and although I've been trying to kick that subconscious habit, I'm not there yet. I caught myself relating to every hurting woman I've ever known and I stopped. I thanked the cramps for reminding me that women have suffered, but then told them that I no longer wanted to relate to this suffering; that instead of keeping misery company, I wanted to stand as a beacon of hope that women (indeed all people) everywhere could feel safe, powerful, and loved. And then I went to answer emails and there in the batch was one from a dear female client who had suffered in many ways her whole life. At the end she included a prayer and a note of love and gratitude. As I read her email, the full force of her gratitude and love hit me, God's divine energy washed through me, and the cramps were gone... instantly. The more I embrace everything, the more I love it, acknowledge its purposefulness, thank it, then ask it to move on, the quicker things wash through. I'm not perfect at it yet. I will always be learning, but it sure is worth trying because it works!