Saturday, April 25, 2009

Patience is my friend

I passed a "Don't Walk" signal today - you know the kind with a red hand for don't walk, and a green hand that signals when you can cross the intersection. However, this one was different - it actually had a counter, counting down the seconds until you could cross the street. And I thought to myself, "Good grief! We have become so impatient in our society that we have to know the number of the seconds until we can cross the street." What happened to taking time to smell the roses, appreciate the blue sky, or spend time in some quiet contemplation. What happened to time spent talking to friends? Why do our to do lists become so almighty important that we forget what truly is?

I have been working very hard the past several years to appreciate each moment I get rather than rushing to the next. And still I am learning that. Instead of bemoaning the things I have to do and rushing through them so I can get to what I want to do, I'm learning to look for the opportunity in all things. On the way home from tai chi, my car told me it needed its oil and air filter changed. Technically speaking, Zippy, my car angel told me. I'm no mechanic but when Zippy talks, I listen. So off to the repair shop I went and it turns out that it was a good thing I did. Sitting there waiting for my car to get fixed, I had a blast. I've been eating so well that the free coffee and chocolate doughnuts were a real treat. Then, miraculously, class material for Heaven and Earth began to pour into my head and since the angels had suggested I bring a notebook and pen, I captured it. Next I had time to meditate and there in a waiting area, surrounded by people, cars, and you name it, I slipped into bliss.

Two hours later I had the energy rush of a lifetime. Something in me popped and heat like fire flamed through my entire body. It felt AMAZING. This was the rush of God energy I've been waiting for to move through old gunk stored in my body. I laid down immediately and let it run through me. My knees were so weak I couldn't walk. When the heat finally subsided, I downed half a can of Pringles, a banana, some Emergen-C, a quesadilla, and dark chocolate, which felt wonderful - earlier I had wondered and wondered why I hadn't been able to think of lunch. It grounded me.

I am convinced it was embracing the time in the car repair shop, with both patience and gratitude that gave me the opportunity to allow God's energy to move within me. I have learned over and over and over again to let go, and let God manage my time. I am STILL learning to embrace each moment more fully without rushing to the next. I still have an old habit of letting my mind get ahead of my 'now.' But with practice, each day it gets easier to embrace what is in front of me - to say this is what IS now, and this is what I can make of it.

Patience, which used to be the bane of my existence has become a dear friend.

Saturday, April 18, 2009

Catch the inspiration waves

I sit down every week to channel the angel messages without a clue as to what will be said. I have been trying to do them earlier in the week so I do not have to do my newsletter late at night on Thursday or Friday and miraculously, I'm finding bits of time to get this accomplished. This one for example, happened very early Tuesday morning after my meditation and before my clients arrived. It was one of those moments where I had to run to the computer and 'catch the wave' of information flowing through me.

We all have to 'catch the wave' when inspiration hits us. We get a good idea but say we'll do it later and then we lose momentum or forget about it entirely. The angels told me years ago to keep a little journal and jot down the good ideas I have in all areas of my life - for work, for entertainment, etc. In this fashion, when I have a spare moment, I can look at the list to see what appeals. Sometimes if we don't take advantage of the inspirations in our life we lose them. Last weekend when a friend asked if I wanted to go to the Hindu fire ceremony on Easter Sunday, it appealed. It was not the norm for me. It was not even my tradition. But the idea felt right and so I committed and within two days I had a car full of friends ready to go with us. Even though I woke up before my alarm rang at 3:30 am I was wide awake. The drive was easy. We got perfect seats across from the dear woman who presided over the ceremony and is known as an incarnation of Divine Mother in India, and is affectionately called "Amma" which means mother. It was an amazing ceremony, that lasted 4 1/2 hrs but seemed to go by much more quickly. A small fire pit was set up in front of her chair. The alter area was beautifully decorated and many of us sat on the ground around this area. Each section of the ceremony was dedicated to praying to various aspects of God - the protector, the ultimate light, the masculine aspect of God, the feminine aspect of God, the abundant aspect of God, etc. In each section, mantras (like the hymns I grew up with, only in a different language) were sung 108 times. It was kind of like the way we Catholics recited the prayers in the rosary, only in this tradition the sounds in the mantras have an energy that builds and builds as you repeat them. I felt the energy continuing to build as we prayed in silence while singing, even though I didn't understand the words. As the songs were sung, Amma threw various items in the fire. The fire represents the light of God and the things thrown into it were offerings to God's light - sweet honey, fruits, foods, flowers, etc., all representing offering what is good and true about ourselves and life to God. The smoke blew in our faces for 4 1/2 hrs but surprisingly it didn't bother me at all. I kept inhaling it and it seemed to purify my body, mind, and soul. Amma acknowledged the celebration of Easter as well as the one of her own tradition, and afterwards the crowd in attendance received a surprise when the hosts announced they would be feeding us a delicious Indian meal. It was a beautiful ceremony and I could feel the presence of God and Christ there as strongly as I felt Him in all other true and deep spiritual gatherings and religious ceremonies that I had attended throughout my life.

When you get an inspiration, it may not be something that sounds like "you" because we all think we know who we are to some level. And yet it seems there is always more to discover. Be willing to branch out and try new things if they appeal - it is here that we keep ourselves, alive, open to new opportunities, and willing to be guided. In being open to the new in life, you slow down the aging process, and learn more about yourself. Have an adventure every now and then even if it is trying a new meal - it shakes up old stuck energy, creates movement in your life and may even be the first step in answering your prayers!

Saturday, April 11, 2009

The feminine side of God

I love Easter. I grew up Catholic, and it is one of my favorite holidays. As a child my devotion to God was so strong that I felt His presence in my heart and Easter was the celebration of God's love triumphing over darkness and ignorance and fear. It was joyous. I wanted to dance in church. I felt the love and glory of God so strongly on Easter. And of course, later in the day, the chocolate bunnies, cheese bread, and coconut lamb cake thrilled me as well. So this Easter, when I got guidance to do something out of the ordinary, I questioned the guidance. Instead of baking cheese blintzes, eggs, and fruit for my friends and making baskets this year I'll be going to a Hindu ceremony to celebrate the Divine Mother. That's a break from tradition to be sure, and yet I am so drawn to it so, no questions asked, I'm going. I live that way, and it brings new wonders into my life that my brain could never dream up.

Its an interesting year. I've been witnessing the rising up of the Divine Feminine energy within both men and women. This is the energy of the heart, the energy of trust, or waiting patiently for new things to be birthed in our lives. It is the energy that nurtures and cares for all and yet, like a firm mother, will not put up with bad behavior and untruths. It is the presence of God, as expressed through each one of us, that says, be silent, wait, listen. I AM always there for you. It is the presence of God that says, as a mother would say, "You are all beautiful exactly as you are. You are all special in different ways." And the rising up of the Divine Feminine is calling forth, the energy of the Divine Masculine - that part of ourselves that listens to and supports our hearts, that listens to our bodies, that honors our creative expressions, our feelings, and uses logic to balance all these with the needs and demands of the world.

For too long the false masculine energy has dominated our spirits and therefore this world. The false masculine energy seeks to control. It is the mind silencing the outcry of the heart. It is the energy of logic trying to explain away our feelings. It is the energy that pushes, dominates, and controls the body rather than listening to its inner wisdom. It is the energy of manipulation and control born from feelings of being powerless. It is the ego unwilling to surrender to its greater truth that it is part of God's love.

So within each one of us we are striving for the resurrection of ALL that God is within us - the head that serves the heart; the logic that honors emotions; the mind that listens to and cooperates with the body. We are learning not to objectify one another and instead treat ourselves and one another as whole people. It is beautiful growth to see the Divine Feminine rising up, calling forth the Divine Masculine to honor and support it... within each one of us. It doesn't matter whether you're male or female - this is the growth within and the growth without. Men are learning to find their hearts without losing their strength. Women are learning to be strong without losing their hearts. This is the balance we all seek. Even mother earth is sputtering and shaking to help her children come together as one. Its going around.

I had a dip into the old energies this week. I got a blessing from a woman who, in India, is known as Incarnation of Divine Mother. I asked her to please release past life fears, and any old pains within me that prevented me from more fully experiencing and expressing God's love this lifetime. I felt her pulling something out of my crown that felt like tarry goop, and within two days I was reliving feelings from childhood that had me remembering what it was like to be the ugly little good girl at the bus stop while the high school 'bad' girls made fun of me and reeled in all the boys that never noticed me. Good gravy, I forgot I ever felt like that. Thank GOD I don't now :) But like healing waters washing through me, a client 'coincidentally suggested I look up old high school classmates on the web, and I ran across the little girl who made fun of me the most - now a grown woman - and saw her with compassion, for the insecure soul that she was at the time, who felt her body was the only asset she had that could earn her love and affection. At deeper levels, I owned who I really am, always was, and will continue to be - one with integrity, compassion, an unwillingness to waiver in my integrity or cheapen myself in any way to 'get' things, people, riches, or whatever in the material world, but rather someone who has chosen to walk in grace, walk according to God's guidance, and to live with a committment to learning more about love every day. Its funny, when you ask for a greater resurrection of God's presence within you, old misunderstandings of yourself must die. I am no longer the ugly little girl at the bus stop. Two days later some friends told me how they originally felt 'priviledged' to spend time with me since I was with the 'in' crowd. I couldn't believe my ears? Me, the "in" crowd? Not even! I am just one of God's 6.4 billion special souls on this planet... as are we all.

The feminine side of God knows we are all equal in her eyes and loves us all the same. The masculine side of God takes care of us all equally if we are willing to let him. Its time we own that within ourselves.

So from the traditions of my upbringing - Happy Easter, and from my soul now, as the angels say, celebrate this time of resurrecting the presence of God within. And to all my Jewish friends, a blessed and happy passover to you!

Saturday, April 04, 2009

Make friends with your body

My goodness, growth is going around these days! Focusing on God's guidance within is the only thing that works anymore. The old human strategies and manipulations just aren't working.

When I agreed with the heavens to teach my upcoming class "Heaven and Earth" I knew in my heart that one of the few areas where I wasn't experiencing heaven yet was in my physical body. I suspected I'd be learning a few things along the way about releasing old patterns and allowing heaven to move into my body as well as my mind and emotions. After all I've been happier than ever before, but physically, well a bit of a train wreck as of late!! I've been in knots, ribs have popped out, my neck was out and I KNEW that something inside of me that was not my truth was hanging on for dear life, trying to keep me from moving forward. And while I am doing most of the 'right' things physically, I knew that until I solved the spiritual issues, this was going to continue.

Since I was feeling as if I had a blind spot in this area, I got a session with my friend Summer (www.summerbacon.com) who channels Dr. Peebles in spirit. He can always nail the issues I can't quite see. I was told that since I'm now living mostly in alignment with my heart and God's guidance I'm taking better care of myself emotionally and mentally than ever before. But, the angels continued, that brings up loads of old anxieties in my subconscious that have had my body all twisted up. When I've disappointed or upset people in the past they've hurled unkind comments and behaviors my way - being so psychic and sensitive that hurt as much as if I'd been punched. Of course, the angels reminded me, that I took this unkindness into myself, and I didn't have to. It was ME that felt I SHOULD please everyone and so it was ME that accepted the 'punishments' for not doing so. My body wasn't too happy with all this and was just twisting up and protecting itself from MY ego's need to accept people's upsets. Ah ha!! Problem solved. I started to resolve that from now on I would ignore any unkind comments and walk away from any upsetting behaviors. I apologized to my body for putting up with such nonsense in the past and made a pact not to do so in the future. And suddenly my body breathed a HUGE sigh of relief and started to unwind. It is a process. My body is learning to trust ME again. It still reacts instinctually to unkindnesses but unwinds so much more quickly now since I am not taking them in.

We can make friend with our bodies. After all they are the physical vehicle for our spirit while we are here on this earth. They are a gift and a miracle, and they only go awry when we refuse to listen to our spirits. (There are some exceptions of people who come in, or take on physical conditions to learn or to teach others, but this does not apply to the majority of the population).

Our culture, sadly, condones and perpetuates violent and constant criticism against our bodies. We're told by the media that we're too fat, or too thin. Our noses are too big. Our hair is too wild. Our wrinkles too deep. Our skin tone too uneven. I was once told to get my teeth whiter and to never ever wear sleeveless shirts on camera because they made my arms look fat. One year our butts are too big, and according to next celebrity trend, they're too small. Or like me, we've push ourselves when our bodies are screaming, "Rest, stop, let me breathe!" We have got to stop this insanity and make peace with our bodies, or we'll never quite have heaven on earth. After all, heaven is not about having more stuff, but rather about feeling the divine presence within, and if you aren't at peace with your physical body, that's not the easiest thing to do. I am at peace with my wild hair, my tendency to gain weight in the winter, the fact that my skin tone is spotted and uneven in places, and that my teeth aren't perfectly white or straight, and that my arms may well look a little large on camera. The condition of my soul is more important to me. Sure, I primp and try to look my best, but I know that I'm a soul living in a body and it is more important to me that my soul shines than whether or not I look perfect, look small or large, or have a few wrinkles. I've earned them, after all.

But I DID need to stop the nonsense about pushing myself and taking in the unkind comments of the world. And after just a week of doing so I am feeling so much better! I've set new rules for who and what is allowed in my dream state while I'm sleeping. I've set new rules with spirits about what behaviors are and aren't allowed in readings. And I'm thanking my body for both teaching me, and putting up with me all these years. On a hike last Saturday I kept checking in with my body, asking if the pace was alright. It was the slowest hike I ever took and yet so gloriously beautiful and rewarding because I listened to this vehicle of my soul and allowed it to go at it's pace rather than the pace set by my ego.

When was the last time you thanked your body for all it does for you? When was the last time you asked it what IT wanted to eat and stopped judging the answer? Years ago a woman in one of my classes did the homework to go home and find something positive to say to a body part that she'd hated. She thanked her large hips every day for helping her carry her children. And lo and behold without any changes to diet and exercise, she lost five pounds that week. So listen to your body. Tell it that it was safe and secure and loved and that you aren't going to push it or punish it with judgment. Our bodies are, after all, the glorious and miraculous vehicle for our souls while we are here upon the earth and they deserves respect and kindness. The more honoring we are to our bodies, the happier and safer we feel. Grounding our spirit deeply into the physical body by listening to it and honoring it IS work when we're used to pushing or criticizing it rather than listening to and honoring it. Nonetheless, the rewards of listening to and cooperating with your body is well worth the effort. We take care of our cars after all - we give them the right fuel and maintain them when they are in need - we should do the same for our physical bodies as well. After all, the option to trade them and upgrade only occurs once at the end of our lives :)

Make friends with your body this week and see how much better you feel!