Saturday, April 25, 2009

Patience is my friend

I passed a "Don't Walk" signal today - you know the kind with a red hand for don't walk, and a green hand that signals when you can cross the intersection. However, this one was different - it actually had a counter, counting down the seconds until you could cross the street. And I thought to myself, "Good grief! We have become so impatient in our society that we have to know the number of the seconds until we can cross the street." What happened to taking time to smell the roses, appreciate the blue sky, or spend time in some quiet contemplation. What happened to time spent talking to friends? Why do our to do lists become so almighty important that we forget what truly is?

I have been working very hard the past several years to appreciate each moment I get rather than rushing to the next. And still I am learning that. Instead of bemoaning the things I have to do and rushing through them so I can get to what I want to do, I'm learning to look for the opportunity in all things. On the way home from tai chi, my car told me it needed its oil and air filter changed. Technically speaking, Zippy, my car angel told me. I'm no mechanic but when Zippy talks, I listen. So off to the repair shop I went and it turns out that it was a good thing I did. Sitting there waiting for my car to get fixed, I had a blast. I've been eating so well that the free coffee and chocolate doughnuts were a real treat. Then, miraculously, class material for Heaven and Earth began to pour into my head and since the angels had suggested I bring a notebook and pen, I captured it. Next I had time to meditate and there in a waiting area, surrounded by people, cars, and you name it, I slipped into bliss.

Two hours later I had the energy rush of a lifetime. Something in me popped and heat like fire flamed through my entire body. It felt AMAZING. This was the rush of God energy I've been waiting for to move through old gunk stored in my body. I laid down immediately and let it run through me. My knees were so weak I couldn't walk. When the heat finally subsided, I downed half a can of Pringles, a banana, some Emergen-C, a quesadilla, and dark chocolate, which felt wonderful - earlier I had wondered and wondered why I hadn't been able to think of lunch. It grounded me.

I am convinced it was embracing the time in the car repair shop, with both patience and gratitude that gave me the opportunity to allow God's energy to move within me. I have learned over and over and over again to let go, and let God manage my time. I am STILL learning to embrace each moment more fully without rushing to the next. I still have an old habit of letting my mind get ahead of my 'now.' But with practice, each day it gets easier to embrace what is in front of me - to say this is what IS now, and this is what I can make of it.

Patience, which used to be the bane of my existence has become a dear friend.