Saturday, April 11, 2009

The feminine side of God

I love Easter. I grew up Catholic, and it is one of my favorite holidays. As a child my devotion to God was so strong that I felt His presence in my heart and Easter was the celebration of God's love triumphing over darkness and ignorance and fear. It was joyous. I wanted to dance in church. I felt the love and glory of God so strongly on Easter. And of course, later in the day, the chocolate bunnies, cheese bread, and coconut lamb cake thrilled me as well. So this Easter, when I got guidance to do something out of the ordinary, I questioned the guidance. Instead of baking cheese blintzes, eggs, and fruit for my friends and making baskets this year I'll be going to a Hindu ceremony to celebrate the Divine Mother. That's a break from tradition to be sure, and yet I am so drawn to it so, no questions asked, I'm going. I live that way, and it brings new wonders into my life that my brain could never dream up.

Its an interesting year. I've been witnessing the rising up of the Divine Feminine energy within both men and women. This is the energy of the heart, the energy of trust, or waiting patiently for new things to be birthed in our lives. It is the energy that nurtures and cares for all and yet, like a firm mother, will not put up with bad behavior and untruths. It is the presence of God, as expressed through each one of us, that says, be silent, wait, listen. I AM always there for you. It is the presence of God that says, as a mother would say, "You are all beautiful exactly as you are. You are all special in different ways." And the rising up of the Divine Feminine is calling forth, the energy of the Divine Masculine - that part of ourselves that listens to and supports our hearts, that listens to our bodies, that honors our creative expressions, our feelings, and uses logic to balance all these with the needs and demands of the world.

For too long the false masculine energy has dominated our spirits and therefore this world. The false masculine energy seeks to control. It is the mind silencing the outcry of the heart. It is the energy of logic trying to explain away our feelings. It is the energy that pushes, dominates, and controls the body rather than listening to its inner wisdom. It is the energy of manipulation and control born from feelings of being powerless. It is the ego unwilling to surrender to its greater truth that it is part of God's love.

So within each one of us we are striving for the resurrection of ALL that God is within us - the head that serves the heart; the logic that honors emotions; the mind that listens to and cooperates with the body. We are learning not to objectify one another and instead treat ourselves and one another as whole people. It is beautiful growth to see the Divine Feminine rising up, calling forth the Divine Masculine to honor and support it... within each one of us. It doesn't matter whether you're male or female - this is the growth within and the growth without. Men are learning to find their hearts without losing their strength. Women are learning to be strong without losing their hearts. This is the balance we all seek. Even mother earth is sputtering and shaking to help her children come together as one. Its going around.

I had a dip into the old energies this week. I got a blessing from a woman who, in India, is known as Incarnation of Divine Mother. I asked her to please release past life fears, and any old pains within me that prevented me from more fully experiencing and expressing God's love this lifetime. I felt her pulling something out of my crown that felt like tarry goop, and within two days I was reliving feelings from childhood that had me remembering what it was like to be the ugly little good girl at the bus stop while the high school 'bad' girls made fun of me and reeled in all the boys that never noticed me. Good gravy, I forgot I ever felt like that. Thank GOD I don't now :) But like healing waters washing through me, a client 'coincidentally suggested I look up old high school classmates on the web, and I ran across the little girl who made fun of me the most - now a grown woman - and saw her with compassion, for the insecure soul that she was at the time, who felt her body was the only asset she had that could earn her love and affection. At deeper levels, I owned who I really am, always was, and will continue to be - one with integrity, compassion, an unwillingness to waiver in my integrity or cheapen myself in any way to 'get' things, people, riches, or whatever in the material world, but rather someone who has chosen to walk in grace, walk according to God's guidance, and to live with a committment to learning more about love every day. Its funny, when you ask for a greater resurrection of God's presence within you, old misunderstandings of yourself must die. I am no longer the ugly little girl at the bus stop. Two days later some friends told me how they originally felt 'priviledged' to spend time with me since I was with the 'in' crowd. I couldn't believe my ears? Me, the "in" crowd? Not even! I am just one of God's 6.4 billion special souls on this planet... as are we all.

The feminine side of God knows we are all equal in her eyes and loves us all the same. The masculine side of God takes care of us all equally if we are willing to let him. Its time we own that within ourselves.

So from the traditions of my upbringing - Happy Easter, and from my soul now, as the angels say, celebrate this time of resurrecting the presence of God within. And to all my Jewish friends, a blessed and happy passover to you!

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