Saturday, May 03, 2008

Digging roots and fixing leaks

The angels totally manage to help me learn whatever it is they are channeling about each week. This newsletter was funny in that sense. I was busy doing other things mid-week when I suddenly felt like doing the newsletter. So I dropped what I was doing and easily channeled the angels' message. If I had resisted that desire, I would have been up very late on Friday night and there are a few other things I'd rather do :)

I have been striving for years but especially lately to live every little moment in integrity. I check in often with myself, often sitting down for a few minutes to breathe, and assess what is next on my long list of things to do. When I do that, things are much easier!

Last weekend on a beautiful spring day I was surprised to wake up with a strong desire to get on with the household repair and maintenance items I'd put off forever. And so I flowed from one to the other just listening to my heart to see what was next and managed to unearth three dead trees, plant about 10 new plants, wash two dogs, fix a leaky faucet, and numerous other smaller projects.

Unearthing the dead trees was a lesson in integrity itself! Awhile ago I had asked some helpers to get rid of the dead trees. They just hacked them off at the roots and left the root ball. I decided at long last to dig them up, rather than being patient and allowing myself to get some help. Two came up easily but the third proved to have the biggest root ball I had ever seen. I started going at it with my shovel like some gopher on steroids. Truly it must have been a sight. I am 5'3" tall and heavy enough to get the shovel to cut through woody roots, only if I really jump hard on the thing. And so I went at it. Three hours later, a rootball that looked like a large octopus with wooden tentacles finally gave way. Meanwhile, the moat in my front yard continued to grow in spite of my attempt at repair last week.

I sat there at the end of the day thinking about what worked and what didn't. The day DID go fairly smoothly except for the root extraction and the sprinkler repairs. I realized then and there, that I was SICK of being a short female doing work better suited for strong men. I confess I fell into a little whining about how the help I'd previous hired didn't do a good job, how I was sick of doing a better job than some of the men I hired.... and ... suddenly the angels broke into my little rant and said, "ANN... " When they speak that lovingly loud, they have my attention. "Yes?" I responded? Archangel Michael, bless his soul can ALWAYS talk love and sense into me. "What do you want to create?" he asked. Hmmm. I know better than to rant. I know that it is more useful to focus on what we want rather than what we don't, but being human and all, I occasionally forget :) He reminded me very kindly.

What do I want? I pondered the decision. I breathed deeply, and asked God to help me figure out what I wanted, as opposed to going over again, what I did not. Out came truth... I want respectful, kind, competent, reasonably priced, helpful, punctual, honest professionals to come help me with the work I don't want to do and can't figure out!

"Ok then!" I felt God speaking into my heart. I felt the angels sighing with relief that I was actually going to make my life easier. On Monday the gentleman that help with my yard looked at the sprinklers for free and told me I needed a plumber. A dear friend confirmed it, and I found a good one to come out next week. I feel better already. I found someone who can repair my doors that leak air conditioning and someone to fix the cracked base of the pool pump. And ALL week, I have been surrounded by helpful, kind, competent people who seemed to go out of their way to support me! I marvelled at the fact that I hadn't ever decisively asked for this before. I guess I just assumed I had to fix EVERYONE else's problems even the o nes who were supposed to be helping me :) Silly angel lady!

So the root I dug up so vehemently inside of my own soul was one big old yukky belief with lots of tentacles that said, "I don't receive help when I need it." As always beliefs are total garbagy nonsense, usually not true, but surely as stubborn as that real root ball I dug up and quite often, just as unyielding. I guess I've not only rooted out an old belief but also am fixing a little leak in my psyche that will allow me more easily to tap into the flow of God's grace in the mundane areas of human life. Gotta love the universal humor :)

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