Saturday, December 08, 2007

Tugs from the past

Sometimes when I sit down to type I have an idea of what the angels are going to say or what I hope they'll talk about and other times, it just pours out of me and I find myself reading as I go. This message was one of them. It answers a lot of questions that my clients have been asking lately, namely...what on earth is going on? I have asked that very same thing. As I continue to feel more and more joyous my body has felt crazy to say the least - old tightness, old tensions, old misalignments, all coming up to the surface.

"These are your old patterns trying to hang on for dear life because you are coming into a time of more light," the angels told me. I see that. I'm changing how I interact with the world to be even more forthright, even more honest about where my heart wants to be and when, and to rest when I need it even more than ever before. I've been really happy lately, loving the creativity of the season and blessed with the people in my life. But OUCH, the old patterns tug and pull away.

I have felt SO able to love everyone lately, even the people I want nothing to do with, that it boggles my mind. I've prayed for this. I've studied to learn how to do this. I've listened to angels. And yet at the same time some old part of me tries to get me angry when people don't behave as I want. I catch the errant thoughts and tell them, as if I'm speaking to tantrum throwing kids... "Off to your room! Come into the light with me or sit in silence!" Then my body breathes deeply and relaxes again. Its a roller coaster lately as I strive to love no matter what, but boy oh boy does it feel good!

One old anxious thought and I catch my body tensing up. When I catch myself, stop, breathe, and unwind a bit my body relaxes. I have to do this over and over as a discipline to keep those old patterns from taking hold. It is exciting. It never fails that before you let go of an old habit or pattern, it makes one big last stand... attempting to stay in your mind and body. And yet if you keep making one good choice after the next, the old pattern finally lets go and you are free-er than ever before