Sunday, November 25, 2007

Giving of our hearts

I hope all of you who celebrate Thanksgiving had a beautiful day. I cooked a beautiful meal for my friends and loved every minute of it. Unlike other years, I didn't rush, didn't multi task, and didn't even look at the clock in the days preceding thanksiving. I just gave thanks for every minute of time I was allowed to do this. I didn't focus on the cost but rather thanked God for the ability to feed friends. I didn't worry about who would show up and who wouldn't last minute. I just gave thanks for the ability to give whoever wanted to receive. It was the most relaxing ten course meal I've ever cooked. It was the easiest cleanup. It was tasty beyond belief. And I felt full with my friendships.

I didn't always have so many friends. When I moved to Arizona I was young, engaged, and knew no one. My husband worked second shift every two weeks and I was alone. I was very sad about it but made choices to work out, be healthy, and explore my spirituality. That alone-time sent me on my path. After I divorced, I dated a sociopath who ran off with my money. I was alone again. And yet it motivated me to learn to treat myself kindly, do things for myself without waiting for someone else to come make my life better and reach out to go to classes and create new friendships. I travelled, learned to cook well for myself, and to go out whether or not anyone was there to do it with me. Many times in my life I've grown, lost old friends, and had to recreate new circles. What I've learned, is that God wears many faces - love is always is present if we look for it and reach out to others with our hearts. Not everyone will respond but if you keep reaching out you'll find love coming in return.

I had to learn to give to myself first before I could attract these friend. It didn't happen over night and many times I whined and complained that I gave to everyone else but no one gave back to me...and yet that was only because I focused on the belief so strongly it became true. When I stopped whining and started focusing on the abundant love of God - after all He made sunsets, birdsong, and rainbows... then I started to receive the love of the universe in return, filled my cup, and was able to spill it over. As a result the cycle of giving and receiving continues. I have learned that it is only ME who blocks the flow of receiving God's love, or sharing it. As I get back in that flow, I feel the abundance of the universe, and I'm not talking about money here, but rather so much more... love.

I love the gift of giving of my heart. In the words of St. Francis, "It is in giving to all that we receive." So true... Give only from a full heart the angels say. First pay your own bills, feed your own mind, body, and spirit, and receive the gift of your own love. Then, and only then will you have the heart filled with God's love ready to give to others from a deep and authentic place.