Sunday, November 25, 2007

Giving of our hearts

I hope all of you who celebrate Thanksgiving had a beautiful day. I cooked a beautiful meal for my friends and loved every minute of it. Unlike other years, I didn't rush, didn't multi task, and didn't even look at the clock in the days preceding thanksiving. I just gave thanks for every minute of time I was allowed to do this. I didn't focus on the cost but rather thanked God for the ability to feed friends. I didn't worry about who would show up and who wouldn't last minute. I just gave thanks for the ability to give whoever wanted to receive. It was the most relaxing ten course meal I've ever cooked. It was the easiest cleanup. It was tasty beyond belief. And I felt full with my friendships.

I didn't always have so many friends. When I moved to Arizona I was young, engaged, and knew no one. My husband worked second shift every two weeks and I was alone. I was very sad about it but made choices to work out, be healthy, and explore my spirituality. That alone-time sent me on my path. After I divorced, I dated a sociopath who ran off with my money. I was alone again. And yet it motivated me to learn to treat myself kindly, do things for myself without waiting for someone else to come make my life better and reach out to go to classes and create new friendships. I travelled, learned to cook well for myself, and to go out whether or not anyone was there to do it with me. Many times in my life I've grown, lost old friends, and had to recreate new circles. What I've learned, is that God wears many faces - love is always is present if we look for it and reach out to others with our hearts. Not everyone will respond but if you keep reaching out you'll find love coming in return.

I had to learn to give to myself first before I could attract these friend. It didn't happen over night and many times I whined and complained that I gave to everyone else but no one gave back to me...and yet that was only because I focused on the belief so strongly it became true. When I stopped whining and started focusing on the abundant love of God - after all He made sunsets, birdsong, and rainbows... then I started to receive the love of the universe in return, filled my cup, and was able to spill it over. As a result the cycle of giving and receiving continues. I have learned that it is only ME who blocks the flow of receiving God's love, or sharing it. As I get back in that flow, I feel the abundance of the universe, and I'm not talking about money here, but rather so much more... love.

I love the gift of giving of my heart. In the words of St. Francis, "It is in giving to all that we receive." So true... Give only from a full heart the angels say. First pay your own bills, feed your own mind, body, and spirit, and receive the gift of your own love. Then, and only then will you have the heart filled with God's love ready to give to others from a deep and authentic place.

Saturday, November 17, 2007

Gratitude - everything is love

As I typed this weeks angel message, I felt so much love pouring through me it brought me to tears. I pray you can feel it as well. Do the meditation too. I did it and I felt all of you, and that made me cry even harder - tears of incredible gratitude. I know this path isn't always easy. So many of you have come to me or written to me saying you have felt alone at times. There were times in my life when I did too. There were times when I wasn't even sure God cared about me as I cared for everyone else. There were times when I felt that I messed up so badly even the angels would give up on me. And yet the truth is, they don't.

God and the angels don't love conditionally like we do. They love without reservation. They love us just as much when we're singing their praises as when we holler unto the heavens about the 'unfairness' of a situation in a deeply human moment. I'll never forget once when I went to my friend Summer Bacon ( for a trance channeled reading. I was deeply pissed off at the angels for guiding me into some tough growth, and wanted nothing more than to rant and rave. Dr. Peebles, the dear soul who comes through Summer cut me off at the pass by saying, "My dear we love you so very much you can yell at us for the next hour. Your green eyes are so beautiful when they're flashing sparks at us." Oh how on earth could I remain mad in the face of that love? I was flooded by it.

I watched a movie a few months ago called "Evan Almighty" in which God reminded Evan that "everything He does He does because He loves us." I have to laugh... in retrospect it is ALWAYS true. But in the heat of a challenging moment, we don't always feel loved. We are. Trust that. This month, Summer Bacon's institute is all about giving thanks. The angels are reminding us through her to not only give thanks for the good things in our lives but also for the so-called bad experiences as well. Sounds tough, but really as I tried it, giving thanks for all irritations, upsets inconveniences, etc., I find they lose their power to upset me. As I give thanks I realize, there IS always something to give thanks for.

The rock that hit my windshield on the freeway the other night gave me an opportunity to brighten up the day of a precious insurance representative who went above and beyond to be cheerful and help me with my claim. The fact that my neck went off kilter this week from sitting at the computer reminds me to take some time to rest. The guy that cuts me off in traffic gives me a chance to practice my new found skills of temperance. And while this sounds like pollyanna psycho-babble at first, try it...try finding the silver lining in everything. Giving thanks for it, although difficult at first, sure has created the opportunity for me to see life more through my soul's eyes rather than through the short-term vision of my personality.

Friday, November 09, 2007

The Landscape of our Lives

Every week I drive past a house in my neighborhood that has some rather curious decor on the front lawn. From a distance it looks cluttered and mis-matched. Close up however, there are hundreds of tiny delights - flowers, stepping stones, lawn ornaments, etc. Another yard down the street looks well manicured and uncluttered from a distance, and yet up close, looks sparse and plain.

Both of these yards have their own unique beauty. The angels had a wonderful chat with me the other day comparing these two landscapes to what they called "the landscapes of our lives."

It all started when I fell back into worrying about what being in public more will do to my life. Right now, I am really enjoying some relative 'privacy' compared to what I experienced earlier this year. I haven't been teaching or out in public much. And yet I'm HAPPY in a big way. I'm focused on writing the six or seven books I've started in no particular order when the urge hits. I'm having fun with my creative urges. I'm cooking, exercising, and pursuing my own spiritual education, as well as spending time with furballs (dogs) and friends. The joy in my life, at present, is in the small, mismatched details. With my LITTLE human mind I don't see the next BIG step yet. Blissfully I don't care. I trust God enough to know that when He wants me to do the next 'big' thing He'll let me know in my heart of hearts. In the meatime, like the magical little cluttered yard, I will enjoy the many small moments in my life that bring great satisfaction. As the saying goes, "the present is in your presence."

There will come a time in the not too distant future, say the angels where I'll have to weed out the activities in my life and focus on those that create a bigger picture. I'll know in my heart what to do when those moments arrive, and at that time, when I and God are ready, the angels tell me I won't feel as if I have to sacrifice joy to focus on a bigger picture. As sanity returned during this discussion with the angels I stopped worrying about what I'd have to "give up" to serve the world in larger ways.

Most of us have both these 'landscapes' in our lives from time to time. There are times when we are just living, enjoying the small things in life and those are beautiful, precious, and magical times. There are other times when everything else falls by the wayside to accomplish a task that we are passionate about. Those are magical in a different way. Neither is better or worse just different. The trick is to enjoy whichever 'landscape' is present in your life right now.

Friday, November 02, 2007

The Riches of Nature

I love the earth. I love being outdoors and I do give thanks for the beauty we have been gifted with. The angels once said, "Ann look at the riches humanity has been given - the grasses, the trees, the birds, the waters, the blue of the night sky, the clouds, the passionate orange sunburst of sunrise and sunset. Look at the soft berries, the ripe fruits, the crisp vegetables. Look at the majestic mountains, the ever-changing seas. Look. Look around you and behold true wealth." I almost cried when they said that because its true. In our society we measure wealth by our bank accounts, our stuff, and hopefully by the people in our lives as well, and yet wealth is here the minute we arrive on earth.

It is so important to take time to be in nature, whether you camp, walk, drive, or travel out of body at night, because when you are there, you are reminded of God's love. You can't help it. The miraculous surrounds us. I'll never forget a walk in a meadow right after a rain. I looked down and could have sworn I saw a diamond sitting there on a leaf. The diamonds were all over. I was dumfounded. When I looked closer I was even more overwhelmed. The "diamonds" were water droplets from the rain that had landed inside these leaves with five little parts. The way the leaves reflected through the water made each little drop look like a multifaceted diamond. I could hear the angels in the background delighting in my discovery of nature's gems :)

Have you ever done this? Pick up a rock and look at it. Ask it to tell you a story about where it came from. Shut your eyes and connect with this rock in your heart. Watch its birth as it originally travelled out of the earth as molten lava perhaps, or was pressurized by millions of years of ocean pressing down on it, or perhaps it grew as a result of condensation forming crystals in the cracks of another rock. A simple rock becomes a tool for travelling outside of time and space. Learn it with this rock, and you can do it anywhere.

Pick up another rock, and ask a question. Look at the rock and see how it answers you - maybe its shape, or markings upon it, or colors, answer your question. God is everywhere, in every aspect of creation. A simple rock can train you in your psychic abilities.

Mother nature is awe inspiring and awesome. I love her. I love the angel messages this week. It explains my need to shift to environmentally friendly detergents, and to do ceremony again, and to sing songs to her when I am out alone in nature. It also explains the jitters that many of us have felt on and off for some time now.

Give thanks! We live on one of the most diverse and beautiful planets in existence.