Saturday, September 15, 2007

Love Self & Others equally

I used to be a people pleaser who always believed I had to earn love. I'd bend over backwards, spend loads of money, and do whatever it took to make anyone's dreams come true. And I got bitter and resentful that no one was there to support me. In my thirties I did not see how I was creating my own mess. As I grew and worked with angels, they helped me see that there are times when it is truly joyful to give, and times when I did it out of obligation, need to be needed, or the desire to unconsciously make another spend time with or appreciate me. I was purchasing love and affection.

I started being more honest about what I really wanted to give. I started to pay attention to whether or not I was giving from love and joy, or from lesser reasons. I still have to watch it. I still find it a habit to say yes to every request. Sometimes I do so honestly and other times I catch myself later and question my motives, and learn to go deeper and become more authentic. Its a challenge for those of us who love so much to include ourselves in that love as well, and yet this is the balance we seek here on earth. To love self and other with equal dedication - now that is mastery. I'm still working on it :)