Saturday, August 19, 2006

Tough love from the angels

What a week! When I taught the "Aura Hygiene" class I felt pretty good about mastering a lot of lessons surrounding keeping my energy strong and positive, but then when I started putting the material into book form, Spirit and my soul decided to go deeper. For the last two months I have been feeling the pain of everyone and everything around me. I've gotten sucked into feeling sad about the world and the lower level behaviors I witness all around me. I got down. And the energies that love to jump all over me ate that up. I'd be sitting in a chair after dinner when the creepy crawlies would gather around. They're not allowed in my readings but in my spare time, all hell, literally, was all over my body and mind. I was really upset till I took charge and started really focusing on my light and that drove them away. Dark doesn't like light. I thought I was doing great. I asked the angels to comment Saturday and instead of the acknowledgement I wanted they started by saying, "My dear you love so much you will ALWAYS take on the energies around you."

I didn't hear another word. I spiralled back into despair. I got stark raving mad at God. I yelled at the angels. "You mean I have to SUFFER feeling the world's pain after comforting others all day? I'm doomed to hurt in my body my entire life? I'm going to be attacked by lost wounded souls in my SLEEP till the end of my days?" I was so upset. "Just erase me now God. What STUPID system you devised." I ranted and raged. Meanwhile, while the hurt parts of my spirit cried out in anger, the soul that I have come to call the observer part of me watched the tantrum. I knew through the entire ordeal that I hadn't even heard what the angels meant to say. I knew at that level that this was some hurt part of me coming to the surface for healing. I knew that God and the angels were sending me extra love even as I told them off. And so I allowed the pain to surface.

Two days later *I* had a reading with Dr. Peebles through Summer Bacon. (yes I even need to hear the voices outside of my head at times! It is a huge comfort). He explained that I hadn't let them finish the sentence. I would always, through my great love for people take in their pains, BUT he said, I was learning to pass them on through me, as water goes through the gills of a fish, back to God for transformation. Such a relief! I realized the part of me that was screaming was an inner child who felt so sad and the angels confirmed this, had me bring that part of myself to the surface and whisked her out through Summer's body into the light. I felt WONDERFUL.

Today the silver lining in all this growth becomes apparent. I can share these adventures with others going through it as well. And as I hugged a woman today who is going through tremendous challenges in both health and marriage, I noticed how I WANTED to help her heal. As we hugged, an ice cold energy left her chest and took up residence in mine. I realized this was the fear that had prevented her from completely healing in the past and that through my willingness and my love, I sucked it out of her. I went in the house and gave it to God. I focused on the light in my own heart, and became that light in medtation and the icy energy left me as my body lurched and emitted a loud cry. I am learning to do this more quickly. If all that pain was necessary to help this woman, it was all worthwhile.

So if you tend to take on the pain of the world, don't forget part B - get rid of it! Give it to God! Sit in meditation and focus on becoming light and ask God to take this pain back into His heart and heal it. Watch the healing you receive as well.

I thank you all for walking this path with me. At times like these I realize how extraordinary we, on this list, truly are. We are committed to growing and changing our world, starting with our own hearts. I am very grateful for all of you and I truly love you.